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Author Topic: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD  (Read 74122 times)  Share 

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Dat1guy

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #45 on: June 15, 2015, 10:17:13 pm »
0
I just happened to have clicked on this page when you posted that lol

COLORS

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #46 on: June 15, 2015, 10:22:43 pm »
0
Hey there,
Good text but here's the thing, since Spain has such low population and popularity, and it's culture being lost, a rebuttal saying that people should learn Spanish to keep the language from going extinct, how would you argue to that?

Unnecessary pressure from knowing you're trying to keep a dying language alive?
(I know noTHING)
Also, it'd be great if you could check your PM inbox, haha. I asked you a question about the exam oops :c

Hey COLORS!
I've seen you around this section a lot. It seems you're very paranoid about the test. Lol jks, probs not but I would be. I fail to write educated sentences at 10pm.

Anyway, your idea for the creative was AMAZING! Have to record that down. It can be used for like lots of things, and I'm pretty sure the examiners like that sort of stuff.

Sorry I can't write as much, I can barely think. My mind shuts of at around 9:30PM. :o

I can however, promise you that I value your impute and have spend hours looking at your suggestions + the other threads that have being popping up all over the place.

As you can tell, I can like really sleepy and I'm not sure what I'm typing.
Naah, just kidding, I can still read back, just I'm too tired and I can't be bothered. ::)

Here is a picture of a bart simpson. IDK :P

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Aw. :) I a bit too early to say this but good luck with your MHS exam next year!
glenny (:
nossal soon!! hopefully

pi

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #47 on: June 15, 2015, 10:23:12 pm »
+2
A poll in 2014 suggests that only a meager 10% of people believe that Spanish classes to be compulsory.

Out of interest:
a) What is the source of that stat and why isn't in included in your response. If it's made up, that's really not ok.
b) If it is a real stat, how did you know it? Seems very specific.

Also, I believe that isn't a good way to start an essay. The prompt is asking you for your opinion, having your first sentence showing a [dubious] stat about other peoples' is not good tact. If I was in year 8, I'd be using my first sentence to give some background into the topic (why is this prompt being selected? etc.) and then giving my opinion. I'd be using my other intro sentences to summarise the contents of my next paragraphs.

Dat1guy

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #48 on: June 15, 2015, 10:26:00 pm »
0
Unnecessary pressure from knowing you're trying to keep a dying language alive?
(I know noTHING)
Also, it'd be great if you could check your PM inbox, haha. I asked you a question about the exam oops :c

Aw. :) I a bit too early to say this but good luck with your MHS exam next year!
Don't see anything in my inbox lol

pixelgraphicsful

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #49 on: June 16, 2015, 08:35:22 pm »
0
Out of interest:
a) What is the source of that stat and why isn't in included in your response. If it's made up, that's really not ok.
b) If it is a real stat, how did you know it? Seems very specific.

Also, I believe that isn't a good way to start an essay. The prompt is asking you for your opinion, having your first sentence showing a [dubious] stat about other peoples' is not good tact. If I was in year 8, I'd be using my first sentence to give some background into the topic (why is this prompt being selected? etc.) and then giving my opinion. I'd be using my other intro sentences to summarise the contents of my next paragraphs.

Hey pi!
Thanks for replying,

The fact was in fact made up on the spot, my school teachers tell me to open with a "grabbing" introduction. According to him, it's OK to make up stats.

Following your suggestion, should I do something like....
The topic on whether Spanish lessons should be compulsory for students has been brought to the attention of politicians. Forcing Spanish lessons on pupils will serve no purpose, add a significant amount of stress and has the worst academic value. I thoroughly believe that students should not have to take Spanish classes.

 ??? If there was anything wrong with the introduction, please inform me. ;)


pixelgraphicsful

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #50 on: June 16, 2015, 08:38:22 pm »
0
Hey there,
Good text but here's the thing, since Spain has such low population and popularity, and it's culture being lost, a rebuttal saying that people should learn Spanish to keep the language from going extinct, how would you argue to that?

Hmmmm. Interesting.
Will have to consider other possible rebuttals.
After briefly thinking, I would have probably said that hundreds of Indian languages have been lost so losing Spanish will be insignificant.

Idk, its a very good rebuttal and I would probably NEVER include that since its too good. :P



Unnecessary pressure from knowing you're trying to keep a dying language alive?
(I know noTHING)
Also, it'd be great if you could check your PM inbox, haha. I asked you a question about the exam oops :c

Aw. :) I a bit too early to say this but good luck with your MHS exam next year!

ⓉⒽⒶⓃⓀⓈ ⒻⓄⓇ ⓇⒺⓅⓁⓎⒾⓃⒼ ⒻⓄⓇ ⓂⒺ ;D

Moderator action: merged posts, do not make multiple posts in a row in the future, thanks
« Last Edit: June 17, 2015, 09:32:50 pm by pi »

pixelgraphicsful

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #51 on: June 16, 2015, 09:19:30 pm »
0
Hi guys!

I have some fantastic news.
So, I write my essays on this exercise book first before typing it up and the one I use is 64pages! I surpassed it and I'm now on my second book!
Huge thanks to everyone that have contributed on the thread. :D

I completed today's creative writing!
I took some advice from COLORS and used a sentence prompt today. ;)
This essay was written in 16 minutes and the prompt was:
The summer breeze brushed past my sundress as I walked down the lane.

After finishing my essay, I realised I pretty much went off topic. So, huge *facepalm*
 :-[

Disclaimer for people that don't know, everything under the dotted line is what I actually wrote in my essay. Not typos. The words in brackets are stuff I added though. ;)
Anyway, here it is.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The humid summer breeze brushed gently around me. The optimistic rays of the sun pelting down on me like pouring rain. I bent over and took off my sandals, feeling the rough yet delightful sand. It was a glorious day. I smiled happily to myself, the meager grin gradually expanding into pure elation. I turned my head and stared diligently at the waves. I could feel the mystical butterflies race around in my stomach. It was my first time at the beach.

I took a meticulous step towards the beach treading once again on the majical(wtf majical?) sand. The steps turned into a stroll swiftly ending up into a well paced jog towards the waves.

There was something about the waves that I was always fascinated about. Maybe it was the persistent crushing sound or the perhaps it was the sheer power they seemed to posess that intrigued me. Nevertheless, I was about to find out.

Step, step, step, I ran towards the ocean. I could feel an immersive aura dragging me towards the water. SPLASH! I set foot in the waves. The sensation was incredible. The refreshing water soaked my feet as the sand dried it again. It seemed as if I had stepped on the boundary between ordinary and amazing. After slowly absorbing the feeling I stared back at the beautiful horizon.

At that moment, there was no place I would rather be.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Coffee

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #52 on: June 16, 2015, 09:57:18 pm »
+1
Hi guys!

I have some fantastic news.
So, I write my essays on this exercise book first before typing it up and the one I use is 64pages! I surpassed it and I'm now on my second book!
Huge thanks to everyone that have contributed on the thread. :D

I completed today's creative writing!
I took some advice from COLORS and used a sentence prompt today. ;)
This essay was written in 16 minutes and the prompt was:
The summer breeze brushed past my sundress as I walked down the lane.

After finishing my essay, I realised I pretty much went off topic. So, huge *facepalm*
 :-[

Disclaimer for people that don't know, everything under the dotted line is what I actually wrote in my essay. Not typos. The words in brackets are stuff I added though. ;)
Anyway, here it is.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The humid summer breeze brushed gently around me against my skin? - Rethink this; the breeze can't really brush around you. The optimistic rays of the sunlight pelting down on me like pouring rain Good. I bent over and took off my sandals, feeling the rough yet delightful sand Describe it. It was a glorious day. I smiled happily to myself, the meager grin Rethink thisgradually expanding into pure elation. I turned my head and stared diligently at the waves. I could feel the mystical butterflies race around in my stomach. It was my first time at the beach.

I took a meticulous step towards the beach treading once again on the majical(wtf majical?) I personally wouldn't describe the sand as magical unless you're going to add a supernatural element to it. I find the word overusedsand. The steps turned into a stroll swiftly ending up into a well paced jog towards the waves.

There was something about the waves that I was always fascinated about. Maybe it was the persistent crushing sound crashing of the waves against the murky backdrop?or the perhaps it was the sheer power they seemed to posess that intrigued me. Good. I really like this. Nevertheless, I was about to find out.

Step, step, step, Describe this differently. What sound do you think feet make when running on sand? Pat, pat, pat maybe?I ran towards the ocean. I could feel an immersive aura dragging me towards the water. SPLASH! I set foot in the waves. The sensation was incredible. Describe it. What did the sensation feel like? The refreshing water soaked my feet as the sand dried it again. It seemed as if I had stepped on the boundary between ordinary and amazing. After slowly absorbing the feeling I stared back at the beautiful horizon.

At that moment, there was no place I would rather be.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good use of literary devices. Strong imagery. Huge improvement from the last narrative I read of yours! Good work :) Be careful with your vocabulary. Some words just don't work in the given context. If possible, I would try and make it longer. It seems as though the beach is a really significant place for your character. Why is this? What's their backstory? This might be something interesting to explore. Also, try to think up a thematic statement. This will help with the overall direction of your story. Continue to employ 'show, don't tell'.

Dat1guy

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #53 on: June 16, 2015, 10:20:56 pm »
0
Hey there, Good to see you preparing so early :) must really want to get in
My school never had a good music room or anything that you can call instruments, so I'm happy my parents are finally sending me to a music tutor for the holidays and weeks to come :) will add to my workload of remembering all the basic scales and how to read musical language but bring a beginner probably isn't so bad
Will probably pick up a brass instrument, or anything that uses organs, I thought of piano and was like 'never gonna be able to remember all that stuff for that' so I'm deciding on trombone trumpet or euphonium :)
Sorry I went a bit off topic there, here's some feedback
Remember that an gramma and excessive language and vocab won't matter as much as relevance, no matter how good It is, if there is no relevance, that's a bad piece, so plan that out first.
I've seen you getting prompts from the net lately so I decided to give you one so I see how your mind thinks (how different can you imagine from me when you do the same prompt) here it is
Persuasive 'science has gone far enough that scientists are now studying the cloning of genes, should they continue on this research?'
Creative 'I told myself to never come back, but here I am, at the..........'
Btw they do look out for general knowledge, even though you should reply to the prompts,especially persuasive, in a passive voice and not use your past knowledge like exact percentages and stuff, you can whack some around in creative.
Here's a sad ending that always gets me at the ending of romance/supernatural/fantasy light novels (mainly Japanese, I dunno if others call it light novels) that you try to use to play with others feelings
This is just a sample I just thought out of my head lol
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At last, back to where I started, all my work is done.
"My majesty, we must hurry to the medic camp up ahead, or it'll be too late!" His cries of desperation truly does make me glad
"Put me down be bedivere, I need some rest." He looked into my eyes about to ignore my command, but he abided by it
He lay me down next to the fully grown tree damaged by war, just like all the others around it.
I held up my prided sword, the caliburn That was replaced after my Excalibur broke. The sheathe was badly damaged and you could see the tip sticking out.
"Throw this into back where it belongs, back into the lake, the Lady of the lake will collect it"
"But your majesty, you are heavi-"
"Do not worry about me, I'll be taking a little rest" he had doubtful looks in his eyes, but once again pretended that he never had such thoughts and left for the lake after one last goodbye
The memories I made in that world, of course weren't lost. How could I forget about that place, where "that" person lived. It all felt like a dream, but after repeating this cycle over countless times, one cannot fool himself and ignore it.
Finally, I can end this. after bearing that last moment, when I was betrayed by my own comrade countless times, I can finally see the end
The last words "that" person from that world said to me still echoed in my heart, and always will.
I closed my eyes, with tears still tricking down my face. Just then, bedivere arrived
"Your majesty, I have done as you have told me, what shall I do now?"
It seems he was still willing to follow me, but, I guess this will be my last command to him
"Go look after Mordred .... For me...... There is nothing else (cough cough) I could ask you to do. I will now take a little rest.... But only this... Time.... It might be for a little longer......"
I looked at him in the face one more time, he tried t hide his tears but it was a futile attempt
I smiled at him with my last remaining force, I repeated what "that" person said one more time, which confused bedivere, and...
Closed my eyes for the last time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What I remember from the end of the "fate/stay night" series, got my eyes watery from reading it, it was much more powerful in the actual thing, as there was an illustration of it that got me crying lol, this is a version i remember and created myself cause I couldn't be bothered copy pasting the original
If you know your facts well you should be able to recognise the characters of the piece and you can probably even guess who was the narrator by all the hints I gave including his way of death and names I spoke of.
If you figure it out, tell me in your next post :-)
This piece is still on lvl 6 of the feel meter for me, got much more pieces made by Japanese that are way more emotional lol.
GL on your studies


pi

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #54 on: June 16, 2015, 10:25:43 pm »
+1
Hey pi!
Thanks for replying,

The fact was in fact made up on the spot, my school teachers tell me to open with a "grabbing" introduction. According to him, it's OK to make up stats.

Following your suggestion, should I do something like....
The topic on whether Spanish lessons should be compulsory for students has been brought to the attention of politicians. Forcing Spanish lessons on pupils will serve no purpose, add a significant amount of stress and has the worst academic value. I thoroughly believe that students should not have to take Spanish classes.

 ??? If there was anything wrong with the introduction, please inform me. ;)

It is 100% not OK to make up stats, a good rule for any essay/paper you'll write in life. Your teacher is giving really bad advice in that regard.

You don't need stats to write an essay and no one expects you to have random stats memorised. If you want to make reference to a 'number', phrase it like "it is likely that a significant proportion of believe that..." etc. Never put in a number without a source (...and never make up a source!).

That intro is improved, it seems very clunky (sentences don't flow to each other), but with practice you'll develop your own style. Your first sentence is still a bit dodgy, can't say I have ever heard a politician talking about Spanish classes. Maybe something more "legit" and at a Year 8 level would be "The proposition of whether Spanish classes should be compulsory for high school students has been a contentious one for many school administrators." It is probably true and seems to be more relevant to schools which is relevant to the topic. Keep things relevant and true. :)
« Last Edit: June 16, 2015, 10:28:47 pm by pi »

pixelgraphicsful

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #55 on: June 17, 2015, 09:17:14 pm »
0
Hey there, Good to see you preparing so early :) must really want to get in
My school never had a good music room or anything that you can call instruments, so I'm happy my parents are finally sending me to a music tutor for the holidays and weeks to come :) will add to my workload of remembering all the basic scales and how to read musical language but bring a beginner probably isn't so bad
Will probably pick up a brass instrument, or anything that uses organs, I thought of piano and was like 'never gonna be able to remember all that stuff for that' so I'm deciding on trombone trumpet or euphonium :)
Sorry I went a bit off topic there, here's some feedback
Remember that an gramma and excessive language and vocab won't matter as much as relevance, no matter how good It is, if there is no relevance, that's a bad piece, so plan that out first.
I've seen you getting prompts from the net lately so I decided to give you one so I see how your mind thinks (how different can you imagine from me when you do the same prompt) here it is
Persuasive 'science has gone far enough that scientists are now studying the cloning of genes, should they continue on this research?'
Creative 'I told myself to never come back, but here I am, at the..........'
Btw they do look out for general knowledge, even though you should reply to the prompts,especially persuasive, in a passive voice and not use your past knowledge like exact percentages and stuff, you can whack some around in creative.
Here's a sad ending that always gets me at the ending of romance/supernatural/fantasy light novels (mainly Japanese, I dunno if others call it light novels) that you try to use to play with others feelings
This is just a sample I just thought out of my head lol
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At last, back to where I started, all my work is done.
"My majesty, we must hurry to the medic camp up ahead, or it'll be too late!" His cries of desperation truly does make me glad
"Put me down be bedivere, I need some rest." He looked into my eyes about to ignore my command, but he abided by it
He lay me down next to the fully grown tree damaged by war, just like all the others around it.
I held up my prided sword, the caliburn That was replaced after my Excalibur broke. The sheathe was badly damaged and you could see the tip sticking out.
"Throw this into back where it belongs, back into the lake, the Lady of the lake will collect it"
"But your majesty, you are heavi-"
"Do not worry about me, I'll be taking a little rest" he had doubtful looks in his eyes, but once again pretended that he never had such thoughts and left for the lake after one last goodbye
The memories I made in that world, of course weren't lost. How could I forget about that place, where "that" person lived. It all felt like a dream, but after repeating this cycle over countless times, one cannot fool himself and ignore it.
Finally, I can end this. after bearing that last moment, when I was betrayed by my own comrade countless times, I can finally see the end
The last words "that" person from that world said to me still echoed in my heart, and always will.
I closed my eyes, with tears still tricking down my face. Just then, bedivere arrived
"Your majesty, I have done as you have told me, what shall I do now?"
It seems he was still willing to follow me, but, I guess this will be my last command to him
"Go look after Mordred .... For me...... There is nothing else (cough cough) I could ask you to do. I will now take a little rest.... But only this... Time.... It might be for a little longer......"
I looked at him in the face one more time, he tried t hide his tears but it was a futile attempt
I smiled at him with my last remaining force, I repeated what "that" person said one more time, which confused bedivere, and...
Closed my eyes for the last time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What I remember from the end of the "fate/stay night" series, got my eyes watery from reading it, it was much more powerful in the actual thing, as there was an illustration of it that got me crying lol, this is a version i remember and created myself cause I couldn't be bothered copy pasting the original
If you know your facts well you should be able to recognise the characters of the piece and you can probably even guess who was the narrator by all the hints I gave including his way of death and names I spoke of.
If you figure it out, tell me in your next post :-)
This piece is still on lvl 6 of the feel meter for me, got much more pieces made by Japanese that are way more emotional lol.
GL on your studies

YES!!!
SOMEBODY HAS REALISED

Hey Dat1Guy,
thanks for the prompt, if anyone bothers, the very first post was supposed to be people giving me prompts and I write and share. It has evolved into, whatever this is. Anyway, I feel accomplished for getting my message across.  8)

I read all your corrections but stopped when I read you were giving a prompt cause, timer not ready etc. I will reread them after the essay. ;)

Anyway, off topic but. Have you ever considered playing the saxophone? ::)
I play the saxophone and I find it hugely awarding.
Check out some of the professionals if your not convinced.
It literally sounds the best!!!! To me at least.
It is considered one of the easier instruments and the one that produces sound closest to the human voice. :P

The cost might be an issue if you want a cheap instrument, a good beginner sax is about $1000 and trumpets are cheaper I believe.

But check this video out and maybe his channel.
Trust me, I wasn't paid to say this. I really do love the sound of the sax. ;)



Good use of literary devices. Strong imagery. Huge improvement from the last narrative I read of yours! Good work :) Be careful with your vocabulary. Some words just don't work in the given context. If possible, I would try and make it longer. It seems as though the beach is a really significant place for your character. Why is this? What's their backstory? This might be something interesting to explore. Also, try to think up a thematic statement. This will help with the overall direction of your story. Continue to employ 'show, don't tell'.

Hey COLORS!
Thanks so much for marking.
What I've gathered is that, it needs to be RELEVENT!
The backstory bit, yeh I will try to incorporate that into my future pieces. :)
I'm not sure what you mean by thematic statement though.
SHOW DON'T TELL, GOT IT

Thanks 8)



It is 100% not OK to make up stats, a good rule for any essay/paper you'll write in life. Your teacher is giving really bad advice in that regard.

You don't need stats to write an essay and no one expects you to have random stats memorised. If you want to make reference to a 'number', phrase it like "it is likely that a significant proportion of believe that..." etc. Never put in a number without a source (...and never make up a source!).

That intro is improved, it seems very clunky (sentences don't flow to each other), but with practice you'll develop your own style. Your first sentence is still a bit dodgy, can't say I have ever heard a politician talking about Spanish classes. Maybe something more "legit" and at a Year 8 level would be "The proposition of whether Spanish classes should be compulsory for high school students has been a contentious one for many school administrators." It is probably true and seems to be more relevant to schools which is relevant to the topic. Keep things relevant and true. :)

Hey pi!
Thanks for clearing THAT up. :D
Again, the importance of relevance hits me again.
Try to do that in my persuasive essay today.
Hmmmmm,
"The proposition of whether Spanish classes should be compulsory for high school students has been a contentious one for many school administrators."

I like that, a lot XD
Will borrow that for other pieces if you don't mind :P

Thanks again for contributing your time and effort. ::)


Moderator action: merged posts, do not make multiple posts in a row in the future, thanks
« Last Edit: June 17, 2015, 09:30:29 pm by pi »

pi

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #56 on: June 17, 2015, 09:41:16 pm »
+1
Will borrow that for other pieces if you don't mind :P

Feel free, not like I'll be using it haha :P

Also, I've merged posts of yours that were posted at the same time, you can quote multiple posts into one reply so please do that next time.

pixelgraphicsful

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #57 on: June 17, 2015, 09:48:43 pm »
0
Hey there, Good to see you preparing so early :) must really want to get in
My school never had a good music room or anything that you can call instruments, so I'm happy my parents are finally sending me to a music tutor for the holidays and weeks to come :) will add to my workload of remembering all the basic scales and how to read musical language but bring a beginner probably isn't so bad
Will probably pick up a brass instrument, or anything that uses organs, I thought of piano and was like 'never gonna be able to remember all that stuff for that' so I'm deciding on trombone trumpet or euphonium :)
Sorry I went a bit off topic there, here's some feedback
Remember that an gramma and excessive language and vocab won't matter as much as relevance, no matter how good It is, if there is no relevance, that's a bad piece, so plan that out first.
I've seen you getting prompts from the net lately so I decided to give you one so I see how your mind thinks (how different can you imagine from me when you do the same prompt) here it is
Persuasive 'science has gone far enough that scientists are now studying the cloning of genes, should they continue on this research?'
Creative 'I told myself to never come back, but here I am, at the..........'
Btw they do look out for general knowledge, even though you should reply to the prompts,especially persuasive, in a passive voice and not use your past knowledge like exact percentages and stuff, you can whack some around in creative.
Here's a sad ending that always gets me at the ending of romance/supernatural/fantasy light novels (mainly Japanese, I dunno if others call it light novels) that you try to use to play with others feelings
This is just a sample I just thought out of my head lol
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At last, back to where I started, all my work is done.
"My majesty, we must hurry to the medic camp up ahead, or it'll be too late!" His cries of desperation truly does make me glad
"Put me down be bedivere, I need some rest." He looked into my eyes about to ignore my command, but he abided by it
He lay me down next to the fully grown tree damaged by war, just like all the others around it.
I held up my prided sword, the caliburn That was replaced after my Excalibur broke. The sheathe was badly damaged and you could see the tip sticking out.
"Throw this into back where it belongs, back into the lake, the Lady of the lake will collect it"
"But your majesty, you are heavi-"
"Do not worry about me, I'll be taking a little rest" he had doubtful looks in his eyes, but once again pretended that he never had such thoughts and left for the lake after one last goodbye
The memories I made in that world, of course weren't lost. How could I forget about that place, where "that" person lived. It all felt like a dream, but after repeating this cycle over countless times, one cannot fool himself and ignore it.
Finally, I can end this. after bearing that last moment, when I was betrayed by my own comrade countless times, I can finally see the end
The last words "that" person from that world said to me still echoed in my heart, and always will.
I closed my eyes, with tears still tricking down my face. Just then, bedivere arrived
"Your majesty, I have done as you have told me, what shall I do now?"
It seems he was still willing to follow me, but, I guess this will be my last command to him
"Go look after Mordred .... For me...... There is nothing else (cough cough) I could ask you to do. I will now take a little rest.... But only this... Time.... It might be for a little longer......"
I looked at him in the face one more time, he tried t hide his tears but it was a futile attempt
I smiled at him with my last remaining force, I repeated what "that" person said one more time, which confused bedivere, and...
Closed my eyes for the last time.
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What I remember from the end of the "fate/stay night" series, got my eyes watery from reading it, it was much more powerful in the actual thing, as there was an illustration of it that got me crying lol, this is a version i remember and created myself cause I couldn't be bothered copy pasting the original
If you know your facts well you should be able to recognise the characters of the piece and you can probably even guess who was the narrator by all the hints I gave including his way of death and names I spoke of.
If you figure it out, tell me in your next post :-)
This piece is still on lvl 6 of the feel meter for me, got much more pieces made by Japanese that are way more emotional lol.
GL on your studies

Hey! Big post you've written.
It seems like we share the characteristics of getting absorbed in writing. ;D
Thanks for all your suggestions and I wrote my persuasive essay on your prompt.
I found it ridiculously hard cause I know NOTHING about science. :(

Anway, I have no idea what the hidden thingo is for your piece. However I can definitely sense clues leading to it. This would be fantasticularlyspectacular if someone pulled that sort of essay in the exam. I wouldn't even be able to think of that let around write so descriptively in the time frame.

pixelgraphicsful

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #58 on: June 17, 2015, 10:00:56 pm »
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Hi everybody.
It's kinda late now, so as usual. I'm super tired.
Here is today's persuasive essay.
The prompt was sourced from Dat1Guy
Should scientists continue with research of gene cloning. (I modified a little bit off the actual one)

I wrote this in like 16 minutes cause I found the prompt really really hard!
Since I know legit nothing about science.
I'm really not sure if I did my thesis sentence right. I don't think so. :(

Anyway, here it is, I did eh. Brackets is modifications
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The idea of whether scientists should keep studying the cloning of genes has been the talk of the 21st century. Studying the cloning of genes will greatly add to our knowledge, make us safer and will not be unethical. Due to the overweighing positives, I thoroughly believe that scientists should continue with the research of gene cloning.

Science discoveries have ultimately shaped humanity as a species. Thanks to science, we know(now) live longer and are more lucky than any other animal on the planet. Most if not all ideas were sourced from the help of a previous one, and only if we keep advancing forward will life continue to improve. Continuous gene cloning is necessary to improve humanity.

Gene cloning will reinforce our defence from diseases. In our modern society, diseases account for a significant portion of deaths. Gene cloning will help us learn how to block and kill off bacteria. More research about the cloning of genes will let us live a longer and more satisfying life.

An infamous opposing arguemnt is that further research of gene cloning will allow us to revive an extinct species which is unethical and going against mother nature. The truth is that by hunting a species to extinction is already playing god and the least we can do is fix up our mistakes. Advancement of gene cloning will not be playing god.

More research on the cloning of genes will technologically improve humanity kill off dangerous diseases and is not unethical. It's no wonder why I and countless others believe that scientists should continue with research on gene cloning.
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Dat1guy

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Re: MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD
« Reply #59 on: June 18, 2015, 06:29:44 am »
+1
I can see from the post that you kinda hypothetically guessed what gene cloning is, but from what I see the only reason you messed up is because you didn't know too much of science, so no matter.
You also didn't reply to your own rebuttal, I think it is because of the time limited but always reply to a rebuttal or it'll feel like you're dodging a question.
The quality of the rebuttal is also an issue. Gene. Cloning doesn't affect nature much as it won't use a factory, but more of a lab
(I feel like I'm just arguing against you now)
What would you do if gene cloning required human experimentation, and cloning an entire person was possible.wouldnt this bring us back to the age of ignorance and the age of slaves?
Grammar and vocab seem good, just the structure
Btw, the Narrator of the piece I wrote would be King Arthur, the story would be describing his moments before death
Mordred, bedivere, caliburn, lady of the lake, just some of the clues I gave :) I was thinking of adding Guinevere somewhere in there but that'll make it too obvious,the same with 'the round table', that would also make it too obvious but I did this to test your general knowledge, so in the actual exam, you don't have to hide stuff cause they want to see everything you know