MHS Writing Topics + Essays + Advice XD

[COLORS]

Okay, that's pretty much what I'm doing now with the creative writing. I find myself  get a better grasp of my story when I write more. I'll try to focus more on the plot.

I've never been to a place specifically for selective school exam, however I plan on doing so a few months before the test.

As for the picture prompt, I've never received anything so simple. Normally I have a very graphical picture. But, now that I've opened it, pretty much ruins the whole time limit thing. If you could be kind enough to find another very simple picture for a creative writing and post the link, I'll use that on Thursday. 
Thanks!

http://mglpriestsandbrothers.org/wp/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/concrete.jpg

[pixelgraphicsful]

Hi readers!

Finished today's creative piece!
The prompt was kindly given to me by "COLORS" a member of the forums.
I'm not going to lie I wrote this in 23 minutes.
However, I won't believe it if anyone can write what I wrote in 15 minutes.
Best piece I've written throughout this whole forum. 
At least, I thought it was pretty good.
Although, I wrote extremely sluggishly.

The prompt was this picture:
http://mglpriestsandbrothers.org/wp/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/concrete.jpg

If anything, I really need faster hand writing. Lol.
Just enjoy this essay! 
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I was born to be the best. I told myself as I sat solemnly in the claustrophobic walls of my den. A daunting darkness had loomed over me ever since I became conscious.

I had everything I could ever need in my prison. I was never hungry nor thirsty. Yet I was constantly deprived of a sense of knowing. Why was I here? How did I get to where I am? What lies ahead of me. Such questions left me in an extremely pensive mood. I laughed emptily to myself.

Everyone has a purpose, I wouldn't be here without one. A daunting word surface before I could push it away. Escape. I had tried countless times with not even a glint at success. You can do this! I reiterated it to myself. I took a deep breath and rocked violently. And again and again. A familiar sensation of defeat arose.
I decided to not let it consume me. I jerked and twisted even harder. I was going to show defeat who was the boss. Back and fourth, back and fourth. A while later the task became almost perfunctory. I almost decided to give up, let fatigue overwhelm me. However, I mustered up my remaining strength and gave one last attempt. For seconds I thought I had failed. Bits of dirt uncovered above me. I felt myself growing, fighting the jail that held me in. Tiny beams of sweet, alluring daylight shot across my body from the cavity above.

I had finally done it, I was no longer a nobody. A immense feeling of triumph arose. I let it surround me, sending quick bursts of adrenalin up me.

There are those rare moments in life that you want to capture in a bottle, to hug on rainy days and to cherish when nostalgia hits you.

And that, I believe, would be one of them.
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ⓉⒽⒶⓃⓀⓈ ⒸⓄⓁⓄⓇⓈ

[pixelgraphicsful]

Hi readers!
WOW! Huge maintenance thingo going on the past few days.
I did in fact write as normal during those days but I'm not sure if I should post it and risk overwhelming everyone. 

Again, you're more than welcome to comment on the previous essay about the plant.

Lets just hope AtarNotes fixed whatever they were trying to do and no more of that happens for at least a few months.

[IneffableLife]

Hi Pixel, I'm not the best at writing and you might even be better at writing than me so I won't correct your essays. I just wanted to say you are doing really well in the writing pieces. And the fact that you are studying a year before the actual test shows how determined you are to get in which is great. Keep up the good work!

For the essays, maybe try and write some humorous pieces with effective plots. Try and be more creative. Don't be afraid to incorporate some fictional stuff in it like aliens and magic. I remember one of my friends getting a good score on her essay about a boy finding a magical statue that gave him powers. So try writing some similar to that (you don't have to if you're not comfortable with it).
And be careful with the prompts by making sure it actually does relate to the prompt. Some people kind of stray off their prompts without even realizing it. The idea is what the markers are mostly looking for. So if your essay is really good but the idea is a bit off , you may get a low score.

Lastly, keep on writing but don't forget to study the other four subjects. Though I was confident in maths, it was actually the toughest for me this year so be extra careful in that !

[pixelgraphicsful]

Hi Pixel, I'm not the best at writing and you might even be better at writing than me so I won't correct your essays. I just wanted to say you are doing really well in the writing pieces. And the fact that you are studying a year before the actual test shows how determined you are to get in which is great. Keep up the good work!

For the essays, maybe try and write some humorous pieces with effective plots. Try and be more creative. Don't be afraid to incorporate some fictional stuff in it like aliens and magic. I remember one of my friends getting a good score on her essay about a boy finding a magical statue that gave him powers. So try writing some similar to that (you don't have to if you're not comfortable with it).
And be careful with the prompts by making sure it actually does relate to the prompt. Some people kind of stray off their prompts without even realizing it. The idea is what the markers are mostly looking for. So if your essay is really good but the idea is a bit off , you may get a low score.

Lastly, keep on writing but don't forget to study the other four subjects. Though I was confident in maths, it was actually the toughest for me this year so be extra careful in that !

Hey IneffableLife!
First of all, thanks for taking your time to read my essays, really gives me a lot of motivation to keep going. Especially since my friends that are also taking the exam literally don't study at all!

I agree with you on what you said about the other subjects. I started this whole thing a while ago since my writing at the time was average at the time.
Countless times I've studied for one section of the test and when the test came, I had no idea how to do the other bits.
I find that I have a lot of trouble with verbal and numerical reasoning.
Lately, I've just been going on sporcle (http://www.sporcle.com/) a lot and doing some English quizzes. Lets hope that helps!

Anyway, good luck on your test results, I really wish you get in!
ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

Pixelgraphicsful 

[pixelgraphicsful]

Hello everyone!


I did it! Yes I finally wrote an essay in 15 minutes!
Lol, okay.

I finished my persuasive writing and the topic was
Should students have to pass a basic skills test to graduate high school?
And, as you may have guessed, I wrote this in exactly 15 minutes.

I tried really hard to fit this in 15 minutes. Inevitably, the quality goes down.
So, if I wrote this in the actual test, what do you guys think?
Any suggestions, comments, encouragement  will be appreciated.

I have one question in particular that I would really like to know the answer to.
If the prompt is really long like this one. What would I do?
As in would I write:
The matter of whether students have to pass a basic skills test to graduate high school has been circling the society. If students have to pass basic skills test to graduate high school, that would be good.
Is there any way to make it sound less repetitive? Thanks!
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The question of whether students have to pass a basic skills test to graduate high school has been circling schools. If such a test is required, a nation will have lower crime rates, ease pressure off parents and reduce divorce rates. Hence, students unequivocally should need to pass a basic skills test to graduate high school.

Firstly, a basic skills test will ultimately curb crime rates. A basic skills test will force students to know how to be life smart. Many small crimes spring from the reason that one cannot cook or is incapable of chores. Therefore, enforcing a basic skills test for high school students to graduate will lower crime numbers.

In addition, such a test will reduce the constant stress on parents. A concerning number of parents manage everything for their beloved children to ensure they can focus entirely on their studies. However this in return creates stress for both the parents and the child. If a basic skills test is required, children will have to do chores, ultimately taking pressure off parents.

Lastly, if a basic skills test is required to graduate high school, the number of divorces will be lowered. A undeniable factor for many divorces is that one fails to complete daily tasks like cooking and doing the laundry. Once divorced, one may commit acts such as suicide. Hence, if everyone understands basic life skills before marriage, a society will be more positive.

If a basic skills test is required to graduate high school, a nation will have lower divorce and crime rates, and benefit adults. Therefore students definitely should have to pass a basic skills test to graduate high schools.
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                     ( ◑‿◑)ɔ┏🍟--🍔┑٩(^◡^ )

[diameter]

Hey diameter!
Welcome to AtarNotes!

Thanks so much for correcting!
Oh yes! TEEL!
Huge facepalm, can't believe I forgot what I've been taught for 7 years of my life.
Oh well, I will keep that in mind next time.
Thanks for pointing that out to me, really appreciate it.
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As for the bit about starting phrases, love them.
Will absolutely use them.
However, I was told by pi (moderator) that I should be extremely formal in analytical essay and I thoroughly agree with that.
So, I'll use all except for maybe,
-to begin with (I used to use, to start off with.)
-on top of that
This can help you to, so keep that in mind next time you write.

Also, what year are you in?
And why does lots of people on this posts have nouns as names?
(colours, coffee, diameter) lol.

I am currently in year 8, and this was everything I was taught for the test which I also did this year.

I don't even know why people put there name as nouns, probably first thing that comes to their mind XD

[heids]

Should students have to pass a basic skills test to graduate high school?

The matter of whether students have to pass a basic skills test to graduate high school has been circling the society. If students have to pass basic skills test to graduate high school, that would be good.
Is there any way to make it sound less repetitive? Thanks!
Cut out the first sentence.  Since you're so pushed for time that you're missing basic necessities (examples to flesh out your arguments, a rebuttal) I'd dive straight in (see my rewritten intro below).

Congrats on meeting the time limit! Apologies in advance for harshness; I always find the holes not the doughnut in people's essays.

The question of whether students have to pass a basic skills test to graduate high school has been circling schools. If such a test is required, a nation will have lower crime rates, ease pressure off parents and reduce divorce rates. Hence, students unequivocally should need to pass a basic skills test to graduate high school. Rewritten: For the good of society, students should have to pass a basic skills test to graduate high school.  Such a test would lower a nation's crime rates, ease the pressure on parents and reduce divorce rates.  Note, it's very short, and doesn't finish by repeating my argument - I said it just two sentences ago, and will repeat it a few more times through my very short essay, so I don't repeat here as it won't actually add anything. A shorter intro (as long as it doesn't actually lose any content) gives you more time to flesh out the body paras, making more interesting and developed essays.
I would add something, though: in the intro, define what you mean by a 'basic skills test'.  What sort of skills would it test?  If the reader doesn't know exactly what you're arguing for, how can they agree with you?

Firstly, a basic skills test will ultimately curb crime rates. A basic skills test will force students to know how to be life smart. Since 'a basic skills test' becomes repetitive through this essay, you could cut out a couple by joining sentences together.  e.g. Firstly, a basic skills test will ultimately curb crime rates by forcing students to know how to be life smart.  Combining short, basic sentences into complex ones reduces repetition, improves flow, and makes your writing more interesting/varied.  Many small crimes spring from the reason that one cannot cook or is incapable of chores. such as? an example of what you mean could strengthen the point Therefore, enforcing a basic skills test for high school students to graduate will lower crime numbers.

In addition, such a test will reduce the constant stress on parents. A concerning number of parents manage everything for their beloved children to ensure they can focus entirely on their studies. However this in return creates stress for both the parents and the child how does it stress out the child?. If a basic skills test is required, children will have to do chores, ultimately taking pressure off parents. Weak argument.  1. This test will only happen when kids are about 17-19 - by then, kids are kinda half grown up anyway.  2.  Most kids can do basic chores like dishwashing without a high school test. The problem isn't whether kids have the skills to do chores, but whether the parents make them or not, which is nothing to do with a skills test.

Lastly, if a basic skills test is required to graduate high school, the number of divorces will be lowered. A undeniable factor for many divorces is that one fails to complete daily tasks like cooking and doing the laundry. Failure to complete daily tasks, like cooking and washing clothes, can increase risk of divorce.  (Just more clearly worded.) Once divorced, one may commit acts such as suicide. Explain more. You jump from failure to complete tasks ==> divorce ==> suicide.  Explain the links between those arrows, like, HOW/why does failure to complete tasks lead to divorce?  How does divorce lead to suicide? (depression, etc.)  If you leave a gap when trying to persuade someone, they'll point out the gap and be like 'hahahaha your argument falls flat', or at least think, 'wow, their argument's a bit stretched and unrealistic'. Step readers slowly through your whole logic like they're 5yos, don't give 'em a chance to ask questions!  Hence, if everyone understands basic life skills before marriage, a society will be more positive.

Maybe a rebuttal paragraph?  I know you're pressed for time, but if you show people there's no decent reason NOT to have a test, they're more likely to agree.

If a basic skills test is required to graduate high school, a nation will have lower divorce and crime rates, and benefit adults. Therefore students definitely should have to pass a basic skills test to graduate high schools. Again, combine sentences to reduce repetition. Students should need to pass a basic skills test to graduate high school, as this will lower the divorce and crime rates and benefit parents.  That one-sentence conclusion is better than your two-sentence one, because it says exactly the same stuff in fewer words - if you have nothing more to say, a too-short conclusion is actually better.  Writing concisely (helped by combining short sentences into longer ones) gives you more time to introduce new or explain existing ideas.

P.S. I only read yr 12 essays, so honestly don't have a CLUE what year 8 standard looks like and can't tell you if it's good or not!  Sorry.
Summary:
- join sentences to be more concise
- explain your points more, don't leave gaps or jump to conclusions
- have a rebuttal (?)

[pixelgraphicsful]

Hey bangali_lok!
Damn! I'm impressed! Do you mark essays as a job? I'm quite overwhelmed by the amount of notes you've given me.
I have to say though, you bring a complete new way of writing persuasive essays in my perspective. This way is evidently more professional than what I'm familiar with. I'll definitely incorporate that into my next persuasive piece.

What I've gathered about the intro and the conclusions is that they should be concise and to the point. I should spend the majority of my time writing my body paragraphs I believe. I should also define the topic before I write anything else you say? I remember reading something like that online before. Once I get used to the time frame, I should be able to implement that.

Oh yes! Great idea, connect the sentences together to avoid repetition, hmm kinda like math factorisation, lol nvm. Anyway, thanks a bunch for that, my question has been answered!

You've brought up a new point that I haven't thought about. Connection in the body paragraphs. I guess I was too caught up in racing for time, that I forgot sentences need to flow. Recently I've noticed that in my creative pieces, the starting is flows pretty well and then it goes downhill from their as I realise how much time I have left. Again, should become easier as I get more practise.

Overall, I sincerely thank you for simply reading my essay but more importantly, leaving me with some fantastic tips.
Sorry if I sound like I'm purposely bombarding you with praise, but I really haven't received such a fleshy correction in ages.
☜(˚▽˚)☞

[pixelgraphicsful]

Hey guys,


Well this is something I didn't realise I would say. 
I might have failed my time management and left my tutor homework to the last minute.
So, its 9:30PM now and this is my train of thought.

I'm not going to write an essay today even though I'm supposed to.
The reason behind it is all my fault, and I'll strive to not let it happen again.

If I had to, I could write another essay and present it to this thread.
However, I would not have time to reread everyone's corrections from my last piece.
This results in repeated tips and corrections, ultimately wasting your time.

Once again, I'm really disappointed in myself and I won't let it happen again.
I'll write it tomorrow, promise!
(╥︣﹏᷅╥᷅)

[pi]

Hey guys,


Well this is something I didn't realise I would say. 
I might have failed my time management and left my tutor homework to the last minute.
So, its 9:30PM now and this is my train of thought.

I'm not going to write an essay today even though I'm supposed to.
The reason behind it is all my fault, and I'll strive to not let it happen again.

If I had to, I could write another essay and present it to this thread.
However, I would not have time to reread everyone's corrections from my last piece.
This results in repeated tips and corrections, ultimately wasting your time.

Once again, I'm really disappointed in myself and I won't let it happen again.
I'll write it tomorrow, promise!
(╥︣﹏᷅╥᷅)

Look mate, that's just really poor form and you should be ashamed of yourself!!

Haha nah just kidding, getting out of organisation every once in a while shows that you're human and probably means you may need to slow down a little. Take the night off, as you have said, and enjoy some non-academic activity! You deserve it

[pixelgraphicsful]

Hey pi!

Thanks a lot for the encouragement!
Hmmm, some non-academic activity.
Lets get some sleep 

[pixelgraphicsful]

Hey guys!

Here is "yesterday's" creative writing.
I actually enjoyed writing this as I had a pretty easy prompt.

Anyway, I managed to write this in 17 minutes and the prompt was
Every morning I walked to the cafe' for my latte' and a glimpse at him.

I think the storyline is better than most of my other pieces but the language was only all right.
I took some tips from some individuals and tried to make it slightly humorous.
I figure, 15 minutes isn't enough time for me to write a fleshy essay with a good ending.
So I've resorted to having a humorous twist.
Let me know if you think this is a good idea, cause I'm still experimenting.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A swarm of butterflies erupted from my stomach. Quick flashes of adrenalin bursted throughout my body. I was almost hyperventilating I realised. I hastily brushed off my the sweat that had formed on my fingers. Desperately trying to at least look more aplomb, I clumsily dropped my backpack. Muttering under my breath, I picked up my bits and pieces. As I was about to zip up my bag, I noticed I had forgot to put in my postcard. With a more calm smile, I picked it up. A different feeling of elation came upon me.

My dad was coming back home, I remembered joyfully. I was as happy as larry. I looked around the well-polished floors of the restaurant and reminded myself of my original purpose. Standing up, I forced myself into a brazen posture. I walked in trying as hard as I could to act nonchalant. Soon, I managed to walk to the counter without humiliating myself. I ordered a latte like usual. I sat patiently for him to come.

I had never spoken to "him" yet, I plan on doing so today. I bubbled with a frightened excitement.

Suddenly, a tall, sleek figure walked through the door. I recognised "him" immediately, He was even more handsome that before. I squealed quietly, thankfully he didn't notice. Pushing all thoughts aside, I walked boldly up to him and cleared my voice. Before I could say anything, I was interupted by a familiar voice. "Emily?" the figure exclaimed.
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[heids]

Hey bangali_lok!
Damn! I'm impressed! Do you mark essays as a job? I'm quite overwhelmed by the amount of notes you've given me.

Nah, just been giving feedback to the year 12s round here - you gave more compliments than I've got for marking 30 other essays put together

Anyway, this is my main point with your persuasive essay - explain more.  If you make a claim - show an example of how it works.  If you say 'X leads to Y', explain HOW X leads to Y, don't just state it.  People won't believe your statements unless you show them how and why that statement is true.  Like, read this paragraph.

A basic skills test will help build racial equality in society.  This is because a basic skills test would reduce the population of fluffy pink rabbits, which will then help to destroy racism in society.  Hence, unequivocally we should require a basic skills test to graduate high school to promote an equal society.

OK, that paragraph's rubbish, right?  You're not going to get to the end of it and be like 'Yeah! Because of that paragraph, I now totally agree that we need basic skills tests!'  Because, unless you're smarter than me, you can't quite see how:
a. a skills test will reduce the population of FPRs
b. reducing FPRs would impact racism.
so you will think, that argument is totally illogical.  So, stating something doesn't make the reader agree - to persuade, you must explain how it works in detail without leaving gaps or assumptions.  (Creative challenge for you: try and rewrite that paragraph above somewhat convincingly, inventing and explaining reasons of how skills tests would reduce FPRs and how that would impact racism.  I'll be interested to see your effort!)

[pixelgraphicsful]

Nah, just been giving feedback to the year 12s round here - you gave more compliments than I've got for marking 30 other essays put together

Anyway, this is my main point with your persuasive essay - explain more.  If you make a claim - show an example of how it works.  If you say 'X leads to Y', explain HOW X leads to Y, don't just state it.  People won't believe your statements unless you show them how and why that statement is true.  Like, read this paragraph.

A basic skills test will help build racial equality in society.  This is because a basic skills test would reduce the population of fluffy pink rabbits, which will then help to destroy racism in society.  Hence, unequivocally we should require a basic skills test to graduate high school to promote an equal society.

OK, that paragraph's rubbish, right?  You're not going to get to the end of it and be like 'Yeah! Because of that paragraph, I now totally agree that we need basic skills tests!'  Because, unless you're smarter than me, you can't quite see how:
a. a skills test will reduce the population of FPRs
b. reducing FPRs would impact racism.
so you will think, that argument is totally illogical.  So, stating something doesn't make the reader agree - to persuade, you must explain how it works in detail without leaving gaps or assumptions.  (Creative challenge for you: try and rewrite that paragraph above somewhat convincingly, inventing and explaining reasons of how skills tests would reduce FPRs and how that would impact racism.  I'll be interested to see your effort!)

Hmmm. Okay
Here goes:

A basic skills test will help build racial equality in society. Fluffy pink rabbits are frightened of tests and are the main contributor to racism. Therefore, a compulsory basic skills test will drive racist fluffy pink rabbits out of the nation, ultimately reducing the amount of racism. Hence, unequivocally we should require a basic skills test to graduate high school to promote an equal society

Is that okay?   

Also am I the only one that can't see my avatar?
I can't even upload one or choose a default one