English Advanced Question Thread

[Mada438]

Thanks 'theyam'. I'll give it a try out - think I may need to post a little more first though

The posting rule is mostly for the admins and the mods.
What i mean is, they look at a lot of different stuff so they tend to be the ones who help out the users who post more
But don't limit yourself just because you haven't posted much!
People will still give you some good feedback; it just might not necessarily be the mods who mark it!
So go for it! 

[LaraC]

Thanks Mada!
Are you more of an English or math guru?

[Lilabear123]

Hi everyone,

Should i be assertive in my thesis statement or use low modality language?

E.g. An individual’s self-identity CAN be shaped by the crucial process of discovering confronting socio-political issues, which provide them with a new understanding of their self-identity and reveal their true values and purpose in life.
or
An individual’s self-identity IS shaped by the crucial process of discovering confronting socio-political issues, which provide them with a new understanding of their self-identity and reveal their true values and purpose in life.

Thanks!

[LaraC]

Hi everyone,

Should i be assertive in my thesis statement or use low modality language?

E.g. An individual’s self-identity CAN be shaped by the crucial process of discovering confronting socio-political issues, which provide them with a new understanding of their self-identity and reveal their true values and purpose in life.
or
An individual’s self-identity IS shaped by the crucial process of discovering confronting socio-political issues, which provide them with a new understanding of their self-identity and reveal their true values and purpose in life.

Thanks!

I'm not really sure, but I reckon it would have something to do with the quotes/examples you are using later in your essay.

E.g. I'd use the low modality language of "CAN be shaped...etc" if I had examples that where contradicting each other - e.g. one text shows that the identity is shaped by confronting socio-political issues, and your other text has a character whose self-identity isn't shaped by this.....therefore you can say it "CAN" be shaped, but isnt always necessarily type thing....with your contrasting examples demonstrating that.

However if all the examples you are using have a character who supports the thesis, then I'd say their identity IS shaped.....if that makes sense!!

I'm only putting ideas out there though...I really have no idea sorry!

Mod edit: Inserted quote so it is clear who you are responding to. Click "quote" above a person's response to open up your comment with their post if you'd like to be clear about who you are responding to. It's helpful in busy Q+A threads like this one where people respond to questions several posts above

[elysepopplewell]

could saying someone is a "scourge of God" be a metaphor??

Hey!
It's difficult to say for this, only because a scourge is an old term for a whip, which would make it a metaphor. But a scourge is also a person or thing that's like a curse, so then it's not really as metaphorical...but in saying this, if it doesn't say "like" before the description, then it is by default not a simile, so a metaphor would be most appropriate

Hi everyone,

Should i be assertive in my thesis statement or use low modality language?

E.g. An individual’s self-identity CAN be shaped by the crucial process of discovering confronting socio-political issues, which provide them with a new understanding of their self-identity and reveal their true values and purpose in life.
or
An individual’s self-identity IS shaped by the crucial process of discovering confronting socio-political issues, which provide them with a new understanding of their self-identity and reveal their true values and purpose in life.

Thanks!

Hey there
I personally prefer writing in a lower modality for most HSC essays because I like the tone of "discussion" rather than exposition that it opens up. So with your first one, you give yourself room to show in two different texts the possibility of being shaped by discoveries, whereas in your second example, you're taking a stance more of "this is the truth and my texts will prove it." Both of these are correct stances. I was taught to always use low modality, but the more essays I read, and the more uni essays I write, I see no issue with the high modality provided that you don't block out a potential argument accidentally

[Mada438]

Thanks Mada!
Are you more of an English or math guru?

Probably neither, I'm not terribly strong at either English or maths]
But if i had to pick, probably English
I'm stronger at my other humanity subjects (modern history, business studies, society and culture)

[Lilabear123]

Hey everyone!

Can i write about two different characters from one text for discovery? So for my selected (The Help), i want to have one paragraphs on Skeeter and one on Aibileen. First of all, can i do this? If yes, do i also have to mention Aibileen in my intro (worried because my intro is already pretty long :/)

[owidjaja]

Hey everyone!

Can i write about two different characters from one text for discovery? So for my selected (The Help), i want to have one paragraphs on Skeeter and one on Aibileen. First of all, can i do this? If yes, do i also have to mention Aibileen in my intro (worried because my intro is already pretty long :/)

Hey there,
Of course you can analyse more than one character in your discovery AOS. You shouldn't be mentioning any characters in your introduction anyway- I tend to limit my introduction to at least three to four sentences because the main focus of your introduction is your thesis, how your thesis relates to the text and the question.

Hope this helps!

[Mada438]

Hey everyone!

Can i write about two different characters from one text for discovery? So for my selected (The Help), i want to have one paragraphs on Skeeter and one on Aibileen. First of all, can i do this? If yes, do i also have to mention Aibileen in my intro (worried because my intro is already pretty long :/)

owidjaja's on the money here especially with the intro. You'll be introducing characters in your body paragraphs, not your intro.
It would depend on your concepts, but yeah its definitely something you can do.
Don't feel like you need to do both of them just because you have too.
It may be the point that you're making (concept) works well with both of them, or just one in particular.
In summary: Yes it certainly is something you can do! Although i'd let your concepts/what idea you're trying to explore dictate which characters to look at and what aspects of the book involving said character

[Lilabear123]

Thanks Owidjaja and Mada438,

I've actually been mentioning my characters in my intro! I'm so glad you guys brought this up since i had no idea that we aren't supposed to. With that being said, i'm a bit confused with how to write my intro now.

Any advice on how to fix up my intro would be amazing

An individual’s self-identity can be shaped by the crucial process of discovering confronting socio-political issues. This provides them with a new understanding of their self-identity and reveal their true values and purpose in life. The memoir, The Motorcycle Diaries (TMD) by Che Guevara reflects this sentiment, with Che’s discoveries of inequality in South America the catalyst to his developing revolutionary identity. Similarly, in the feature film, The Help directed by Tate Taylor, Skeeter’s discoveries of the injustices faced by the African-American members of her community is the impetus to her role in exposing the true nature of discrimination in Mississippi. For both Che and Skeeter, this process is vital in developing their previously concealed revolutionary beliefs. Both texts demonstrate the pivotal role of socio-political discoveries in developing and affirming an individual’s sense of self.

[Mada438]

Thanks Owidjaja and Mada438,

I've actually been mentioning my characters in my intro! I'm so glad you guys brought this up since i had no idea that we aren't supposed to. With that being said, i'm a bit confused with how to write my intro now.

Any advice on how to fix up my intro would be amazing

An individual’s self-identity can be shaped by the crucial process of discovering confronting socio-political issues. This provides them with a new understanding of their self-identity and reveal their true values and purpose in life. The memoir, The Motorcycle Diaries (TMD) by Che Guevara reflects this sentiment, with Che’s discoveries of inequality in South America the catalyst to his developing revolutionary identity. Similarly, in the feature film, The Help directed by Tate Taylor, Skeeter’s discoveries of the injustices faced by the African-American members of her community is the impetus to her role in exposing the true nature of discrimination in Mississippi. For both Che and Skeeter, this process is vital in developing their previously concealed revolutionary beliefs. Both texts demonstrate the pivotal role of socio-political discoveries in developing and affirming an individual’s sense of self.

So I'm far from an English guru about how to perfect essays, so don't take my advice as law. But here goes...
So what are your concepts (your overarching ideas for your body paragraphs). You may have mentioned them, but i couldn't see them.
You should outline your lines of argument in your intro before addressing them in the body.
Your mentioning of the character sounds like things to include in a body paragraph. They sound like some sort critical analysis/evaluation after your present some technique/quote to back up your concept; so that's where i reckon they're best out to use.
I'd have a look at the rubric too, to give you a hand with developing your concepts as well.
It sounds like you're exploring "Discoveries can be fresh and intensely meaningful in ways that may be emotional, creative, intellectual, physical and spiritual." and "confronting and provocative" discoveries, but that's just how i interpret it. To me, including statements of the rubric subtly throughout your essay shows your knowledge of AOS (i guess?).
If you need a copy of the rubric, you can find one Here!
Hope this helps! 

[LaraC]

Probably neither, I'm not terribly strong at either English or maths]
But if i had to pick, probably English
I'm stronger at my other humanity subjects (modern history, business studies, society and culture)

Yeah ak thats cool. I like that sort of stuff more too 
Sorry for the random question! haha....just always curious when asking for feedback as most people either tick one way or the other!

[LaraC]

Shakespeare was promoting the idea of providentialism in order to suit his purpose of promoting the Tudor's legitimate right to the throne. He uses this theme, to highlight the villainy of Richard as someone who is making the choice to disregard providentialism and act on free will- thus leading to his demise. His theme serves as a warning for the Elizabethan society, as anyone who is willing to oppose the current Tudor ruling will similarly experience demise.
Sorry not sure if this helps too much?
Refer to Shakespeare's religious/political context for his purpose....

Thanks for this Never.Give.Up. Sorry I didn't reply earlier but it helped me out heaps 

[Mada438]

Yeah ak thats cool. I like that sort of stuff more too 
Sorry for the random question! haha....just always curious when asking for feedback as most people either tick one way or the other!

It's all good! I don't tend to "Tick" or "Tock" one way or another 
I'm kind of all rounded i guess! 

[owidjaja]

Thanks Owidjaja and Mada438,

I've actually been mentioning my characters in my intro! I'm so glad you guys brought this up since i had no idea that we aren't supposed to. With that being said, i'm a bit confused with how to write my intro now.

Any advice on how to fix up my intro would be amazing

Hey there,
Here are my comments in the spoiler:
Warning: I'm finicky with critiquing other people's writings (not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing lol)

Spoiler

An individual’s self-identity can be shaped by the crucial process of discovering confronting socio-political issues It would be great if the question was given so I can see how your thesis relates to the question.. This provides them with a new understanding of their self-identity and reveal their true values and purpose in life. The memoir, The Motorcycle Diaries (TMD) by Che Guevara reflects this sentiment, with Che’s You shouldn't be referring to the composers by their first name- better to refer to the author as Guevara. discoveries of inequality in South America the catalyst to his developing revolutionary identity This sentence doesn't really make sense.. Similarly, in the feature film, The Help You could've just said 'Tate Taylor's film "The Help"' directed by Tate Taylor, Skeeter’s discoveries of the injustices faced by the African-American members of her community is the impetus to her role in exposing the true nature of discrimination in Mississippi Like I said, you shouldn't be mentioning any characters in your introduction. Keep it broad.. For both Che and Skeeter In extension to my feedback on characters in your introduction, you should be focusing more on how the composer presents this, not what kind of discovery the character experiences. Their purpose is to relay the themes to the audience so your essay should be centred around themes., this process is vital in developing their previously concealed revolutionary beliefs. Both texts demonstrate the pivotal role of socio-political discoveries in developing and affirming an individual’s sense of self Better to combine the last two sentences together to keep things concise and to clearly show the cause and effect of discovery.

Overall comments:
- Like Mada438 and I said, don't mention your characters in the introduction. Keep your introduction broad because your paragraphs should be where you narrow down your thesis into the context of the characters and their processes of discovery
- Speaking of characters, you're limiting your arguments to one character if you're mentioning them in your introduction. Plus, the purpose of characters in any text is to relay the composer's theme. Although these texts focus on the characters' process of discovery, their journey is supposed to parallel with the composer's journey, allowing the audience to embark that journey of discovery with the composer. Treat these characters like messengers for the composer.
- Your thesis is also a bit narrow- you're limiting yourself by bringing up socio-political issues as a catalyst to discovery. Although this is true, your thesis needs to be a bit more broad so it can be malleable to different types of questions. Socio-political issues could be used as a topic sentence though. Based on your introduction, my interpretation of your thesis is that confronting discoveries can result in renewed perceptions?

I'm no expert in essay writing so these are just my opinions on your introduction.

Hope this helps!