Hi! I really need someone too look over my English Standard creative, I know it sounds very cliche, but does it work as a piece? Thanks~
An icy breeze shocked the man from his peaceful slumber. Rubbing his eyes with slightly reddened and blistered fingers, he contemplated for a moment how long it he had been there for, as the warmth of the day seemed little more than a distant memory. The grass below his feet gleamed a glistening glow, a vision only enhanced further by the night light. It was no hindrance to him though, as he had no plans on leaving. His mind remained fixated on a single thought, everything else, from the crow's eyes leering, to the single squirrel scattering below the swing, seemed meaningless.
Disappointment wasn’t the sensation, neither were anger or grief. While some could say that emptiness was impossible, he would refute them right away, as that was the only word he could place to it. He couldn’t face her, not then, not now, not even with five-feet of mulch and dirt between them. He leaned forward on the park bench and inhaled, watching his breath emerging and dissipating. He brought the coat closer to himself, closing his eyes to the night.
'Still out here, Carlos?’
The man’s eyes flew open at once, then fell. He glared at the woman for only a few seconds before softening his gaze. Her grin only faltered slightly, and it quickly raced back to full speed. She was as radiant as ever, smiling and cheerful…at first glance. If one was to look closer, they would see her tired features, her paling skin, her trembling hands. He dearly wished to say something to her in return, but something held him back. Was it fear? Distrust? Her gaze fell slightly, but then became fixated on the small object between his fingers.
The warmth of the day has waged a great battle against the flower, but it prevailed, the petals fresh and untarnished. Its deep tone reflected the light of the sea, however, it only seemed to further exemplify the deepening barrier between them. The woman seemed to realize it’s significance, and continued to smile, however, an uneasy edge seemed to be present. Biting her lip as if attempting to speak, she appeared to deliberate her words before leaning in towards him
‘You can’t save everyone. Death is death. But never blame yourself for this’
The man’s pale orbs widened and he opened his mouth to respond. At that moment however, he felt himself falling back deep into the abyss, and prepared for his descent. He heard a small sound in the distance however, calling out to him, tugging at his soul
‘Because I love you. And I always will.
He jerked forwards, gasping and grasping for air. All he could feel was the endless chill, a stark contrast from the warmth of his memory. He couldn’t comprehend it though. His wife, the most gentle person he’d ever known should’ve hated him for his failings, despised him from the grave. He has the power once to stop it, his doctor accreditation proof of that. His inability to act and cure her, as slim as those odds were still had some potential, potential that was gone. A soft down fell from the skies, yet he barely felt it, and apparently neither did the deep blue rose still twisted between his fingers. It was his own personal custom to bestow them upon her grave, a sign of a love impossible to return. But he had loved her, so very dearly. That was something they shared.
Suddenly, something felt amiss. She loved him. She forgave him. She had told him as much in the past, why did he believe this was not true for the present? This was something she has always done, and something she had in common with him, mutual respect and love.
He could see it now. She’d never despised him, never held him accountable for her eventual disease. He was the foolish one for overlooking that fact, hiding himself from the grave, distancing himself from her. They had loved each other irrevocably, and doubting it was nothing less than an insult. Looking down at his suddenly warmed hands, he smiled at the sight. A pool of dark petals painted the ground, whilst between his fingers was a crimson rose, demure yet vivacious. The symbol of a love left requited.
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Topic: Free AOS Creative Writing Marking! (Read 352995 times)