Creative writing thread maybe?

[Mugwump]

Hi! I like writing stories and I've seen the talent of the mods here so I was hoping for some criticism of my writing. This paragraph below is just something I was thinking of writing for a blog, how could I improve it? Really appreciate your thoughts X


I remember the morning my mother came into my room and said quietly that my granddad had died. Pops? Gone? I scrunched the sheets over my head, forcing myself to disappear into sleepy haze. Hoping the words were a fragment of some demonic dreamworld, that had burst into the surface of my waking memory and thereupon curdled into something sick. But relentless waves of reality crashed over me and washed me further from the shores of sleep.