How have you changed as you've aged?

[Joseph41]

I'm sure we've all changed a lot in the last few years - and probably will continue to do so. The 15-25 age range is surely one of the most interesting in the human lifespan; we develop, ultimately, from children to adults.

But for you specifically, how do you think you've changed? I'm speaking mostly in terms of personality.

I'm going to have a good think about this for a few minutes, and then leave some thoughts below.
Okay so, my thoughts:

I think my social skills have definitely developed. I remember thinking a few years ago, "how could you just ask a stranger a question?!" I don't like, initiative conversations with strangers now lol, but I can at least hold a conversation for the most part. So that's good. Writing skills etc. have obviously also improved, but the social side of thing is always what's caused me the most anxiety.

In some ways, I've also become less judgemental (perhaps more so in others, but I can't really flesh out what I'm thinking about this rn). Even taking a surface example of language, I used to be a huuuuuge prescriptivist; now I'm very firmly a descriptivist. That is, misplaced apostrophes and shit don't annoy (as much - lol); they interest me. And that's a positive development.

Probably not so good is that I feel I've become sort of... emotionally neutral? Not really sure how to describe it. I've never been that excitable, but these days my face wouldn't change much if at all between really, really great news, and really, really bad news. I guess it has a weird sort of balance about it, but I'm not even sure if that's healthy.

I've also become more cynical about the world, but I'd imagine that's pretty consistent at this type of age range. Much less interested in having acquaintances. Thinking about it, I was never that interested, but school dynamics sort of made it necessary to get through on a day-to-day basis. There isn't such necessity now.

Will possibly add more to this as thoughts develop. How about y'all?

[sudodds]

i feel as though i have gone through a massive personality change literally only this year, and I only recently realised this. Like just last year I was super shy, self conscious, terrified of anyone marginally older than me, and small talk was literally the worst thing I could ever imagine doing. However now, I feel like I've almost become the opposite (almost)? Definitely way more open and confident around people, whether I've known them or not. Before I was so scared of people (basically anyone other than my close friends) thinking I was "unfunny" so I just wouldn't make jokes at all, whereas now I really don't care ahaha and I think my sense of humour has got a lot better because of it (i mean, subjective, but i think so ).

But yeah, not really sure what triggered this change at all, but glad it happened ahaha

[EEEEEEP]

How have I changed? I've probably changed in a few ways but...

1. I've just become so emotionally stunted towards the news.
So many bad things happen that nothing ever shocks me. I'm just eh... something else is gonna happen and it does. Like I used to remember the twin Towers attack, and it shocked me. Now things such as the Martin place attack, bomb scares in Sydney, I just think to myself .. Whatever.....

(news in general is such a depressing place these days anyway,, bombings, stabbings, terrorist attacks, poverty)

2. I have little patience for most people
I used to have a lot of patience for people that I have either used me or treated me. I just tell them kindly to get lost these days.  My time is limited, so.. spend it with the people you love

3. I am a bit pessimistic
Throughout the years, I've experienced well so much failure and setbacks, that I just expect the worst to happen. For example trains, I used to trust trains, but nowadays I'm like "Any one of these days, its gonna fail.. there we go it failed".

Another one is exams, I used to think "I'm gonna do great and get a HD", I just always expect to do worse than I think I thought I did.

WHen I was young, I thought everything was rosies and daisies, I learnt that the hard way , HAHA.

[Calebark]

I think I've definitely changed.

I'm a lot less angry. I used to have a really bad 'fuck you, fuck me, fuck the world' attitude where I was just an aggressive prick. It's not that I ever bullied people or anything, not at all, but if someone tried bullying me or whatever,  I'd immediately push harder/punch harder/grab them or whatever. Downside of coming from a bit of a violent household, I suppose. If such things happen nowadays, I can just shrug it off, or just deescalate the situation with speech instead.

I'm a lot less private too. I'd never share details about myself.  Over the years, I realized this was harmful, so I've gotten a lot better -- I no longer feel embarrassment from such things. I've got a long way to go yet though -- I've only started telling my friends my birthday recently.

There's one important area I'm stuck on though. I don't know if I'm a serious guy who pretends to be otherwise, or if not-so-serious guy who pretends to be serious sometimes. Very confusing, and leads to me not quite knowing if I'm a responsible/mature person.

Will probably be back with more thoughts tonight

[K888]

Actually had this convo with a high school friend that I caught up with at uni a few weeks ago! I feel like the past few years have involved a lot of change and personal growth, but this year in particular has been a big one, I think. I mean, probably largely to do with the fact that I've moved out, but also to do with studying my course and being at uni in general.

Big one over the past few years would be being a lot more open-minded. Am really all for the "if it's not harmful, then live and let live" sort of thing - not up to me how people live their lives.
But, in the same respect, I also don't stand for a lot of things, and I don't put up with a lot of shit haha.

Definitely also a lot more cynical. Reckon that happens to most people, though. I also feel like I'm a bit more withdrawn than I was last year and have been in the past.

I feel like I'm definitely more mature. Of course, that comes with age to an extent, but definitely has something to do with my course/uni experience, and I see the difference now between me and my high school friends in that regard. 

[strawberries]

I've been a lot more self aware than when I was younger, and I should probably still learn to be even more self aware than I am right now.

When I was younger, I was really confident, not shy, loud, outgoing etc.
Like I was never scared to talk to anyone and ask questions.

But now, I have realized that sometimes acting like that is not 'cool', especially once you realize everyone else around you is so reserved and you don't realize that people are sometimes sick/annoyed at you constantly talking all the time. This is where self awareness comes in.

So basically, as I've grown older, I've actually become slightly less talkative/loud?, because I am more self-aware and understand the consequences of being over-the-top. I am now more afraid to talk to/approach people because of the associated consequences.

[spectroscopy]

I've definitely become way less cynical about the world and have a more positive outlook on the world and life. I'm way more interested in making new friends and hanging out with new people these days than when I was younger. this might be because alot of my old friendship groups have fragmented over time and it is harder to find people to hang out with regularly. also I enjoy daily life and each hour of the day way more even than I used to even if I might be materially worse off.

[beatroot]

i used to be so shy and so quiet back in year 7. i had really low self esteem as well and tried my best to be one of those 'cool kids'. of course, this just made things worse and i was lost. when i moved schools, i surrounded myself with beautiful and lovely people, which made me develop my confidence more, rid my shyness and boosted my self esteem. throughout the years, i've definitely learnt to avoid dwelling on petty drama and being more grateful for my blessings. i feel so much happier now and try to spread it around. we need more positivity in the world! i've also learnt to become more socially aware and learnt how to search for answers beyond religion. this made me have a more open minded view on the world.

[peterpiper]

I feel like I'm 107 years old sometimes. I forget a lot. I get lost more frequently. And I've become less perfectionistic, less detail-oriented and generally more air-headed. On the flip-side, I've become more understanding and tolerant of different kinds of people. On the other hand I've also become intolerant of some types of people, those who I just feel I can't ever express anything I want with. I also know more about what I want (which is basically make friends, love everyone lol, express yourself; still don't know what degree that fits under though *groans*), and have become less of a people-pleaser to an extent, which has both its negatives and positives, like I'm sometimes scary/intimidating with a purpose (I shock myself too) whenever someone crosses the line with me.

EDIT: Just thought of some more things (haha look at me talk about me more ) -- I've also become more open and vulnerable, more willing to admit how terrible I feel, how ecstatic I am about new shoes, how I felt when I think about this or that the other day, when I recall how someone said something to me and being able to talk a little more senselessly, and less grounded in what something is or should be or just gossip. Superficial talk or talk for the sake of talk is now not my kind of jam anymore. I can still be superficial and be super gossipy, but, in some ways, I'm more sentimental and I love that part of me more. It also makes me appear a lot more grandpa-ish. So yeah, I've AGED A LOT.

I've been a lot more self aware than when I was younger, and I should probably still learn to be even more self aware than I am right now.

When I was younger, I was really confident, not shy, loud, outgoing etc.
Like I was never scared to talk to anyone and ask questions.

But now, I have realized that sometimes acting like that is not 'cool', especially once you realize everyone else around you is so reserved and you don't realize that people are sometimes sick/annoyed at you constantly talking all the time. This is where self awareness comes in.

So basically, as I've grown older, I've actually become slightly less talkative/loud?, because I am more self-aware and understand the consequences of being over-the-top. I am now more afraid to talk to/approach people because of the associated consequences.

Feeling this. It sucks. I reckon you just need to find the right person, and that clownish part of you will surface again. Been an outsider my entire life, so I really feel this - the conflict between what's right for a social situation/how you come off to another person and the need for self-expression. The silly loud person never disappears so don't feel despondent. You're probably in a rough patch at the moment...but it's not completely hopeless Eccentric characters always age well.

[Aaron]

I've always been more mature for my age given some circumstances in my life earlier which weren't great, however I think apart from that.. the biggest change has occurred in the 4 or 5 years during my uni/start of work years. I have always been a shy/quiet person and can rarely initiate conversation, however the experiences of tutoring at university level and then going on to teach have made my confidence and ability to think on my feet so much better.

I say things at work now and then 5 mins later, reflect and say to myself 'did I really just ask that' (in a good way). For some, the nature of conversation and actually holding such a conversation comes naturally so it doesn't make any sense why someone would have trouble doing so.. but it has definitely been the case for me (I still struggle at times to even hold a conversation that isnt professional).

[keltingmeith]

Really interesting topic! Actually loving reading the responses, I really enjoy seeing how everyone matures, and what they think constitutes an adult (not to say that any particular person is right or wrong here - being something is all about what you attune it to, after all)

So, from the age of 15, I've changed a lot - there's the bits about my whole interests and career path changing drastically, which I've talked about before. Also when I was about 15 I was incredibly depressed and suicidal, so there's the obvious change in which I've recovered a lot from that.

I think the biggest change I've gone through is really accepting myself and who I am, particularly in terms of sexuality. It might seem weird to pick such a specific one to be sexuality, but definitely when I was younger I was very much the typical boy (which is funny since I was also a bit of a nerd, socially awkward, and picked on by most of my peers), who did the whole "o yeh lololol penis in her vagina the ho be mine", but secretly thinking it was disgusting and not wanting any part of it. Then I went through the whole "wow, you had sex with him/her?? Ummmm I don't see a wedding ring?? Slut." stage, and simply refusing to talk to anyone about anything of a sexual nature, immediately getting awkward and making an excuse to get away from them.

Whereas now, I'm much more open about it - I'm more than happy to have discussions of a sexual nature with people. I'm happy to talk about how to keep it safe, how to keep it pleasurable,  listen to people's adventures in the world of hook-ups, and am definitely not judgemental about it at all. Which kinda sucks, because I see the judgemental parts in a lot of first years, which I find disappointing given the amount of people who live sexually-charged lives. Like, it's completely natural - it's how most of are around today. There's no need to shame people about enjoying it. Not to mention, the constantly using gay as an insult, thinking homosexuality was bad, and now being comfortable in the fact that I am, actually, queer.

Another way that I've grown is my acceptance the fact that I have Asperger's syndrome. This used to really upset me, since I could never tell what people were thinking, always felt excluded, would get massively anxious in social situations because I had no idea what was going on at all. But, now I can own it, and despite still struggling in identifying social cues, etc., I no longer beat myself over the fact that I just won't be able to pick all of them up.

[heids]

As with most introverts as they grow up, I've become more social and socially skilled and able to put on the extrovert mask than I used to (hence people describe me as "bubbly", "happy" and "outgoing" lol).

Otherwise - it's just a gradual process of growing more open-minded, kind, vulnerable, balanced, disciplined, able to set boundaries and stand up for myself, self-aware, emotionally intelligent, willing to admit I'm wrong, and so on.  (I have a hell of a long way to go with all of those hahaha).  Maturity seems to me made up of a huge number of small, subtle skills and breakthroughs and insights and changes.

I also grow ever more cynical and idealistic.  I know, completely opposite extremes.  But I've lost and gained faith in humanity at the same time?  Lol.

Re. title: saying I've "aged" feels wrong; I'm young and ignorant lol.

[peterpiper]

Another way that I've grown is my acceptance the fact that I have Asperger's syndrome. This used to really upset me, since I could never tell what people were thinking, always felt excluded, would get massively anxious in social situations because I had no idea what was going on at all. But, now I can own it, and despite still struggling in identifying social cues, etc., I no longer beat myself over the fact that I just won't be able to pick all of them up.

I'm so glad! It's often such a stigmatised topic to talk about, but it's something that really should be normalised. We're all on the spectrum after all. Most of us exhibit aspey-qualities, and it's just so that some of us exhibit those traits more prominently than the majority. I know labels can sometimes feel isolating, but it can also be a point at which we can begin to accept and understand in greater depth lives which we may not fully understand. And that's fine too! I have a friend who's aspey and oftentimes there were little things which I couldn't quite understand like her strong dislike of touching chalk or seeing a certain colour or even the way she'd express something totally unwarranted for a social occasion where I'd be like *oh no* *looks away* *diverts conversation in the direction of antarctica and its penguins*

It wasn't until she'd told me that I actually began to understand and took it upon myself to making sure that she wasn't misunderstood. It doesn't take much readjusting but identifying it and having a name there really does help for us to all get along and make life a little easier for everyone. We won't understand everyone perfectly, we will misunderstand one another - but knowing what to look for can reduce that mistake. It's life after all, in all its beautiful array of colours.

Anyway - a bit off-topic but ye

[Calebark]

I'm so glad! It's often such a stigmatised topic to talk about, but it's something that really should be normalised. We're all on the spectrum after all. Most of us exhibit aspey-qualities, and it's just so that some of us exhibit those traits more prominently than the majority. I know labels can sometimes feel isolating, but it can also be a point at which we can begin to accept and understand in greater depth lives which we may not fully understand. And that's fine too! I have a friend who's aspey and oftentimes there were little things which I couldn't quite understand like her strong dislike of touching chalk or seeing a certain colour or even the way she'd express something totally unwarranted for a social occasion where I'd be like *oh no* *looks away* *diverts conversation in the direction of antarctica and its penguins*

It wasn't until she'd told me that I actually began to understand and took it upon myself to making sure that she wasn't misunderstood. It doesn't take much readjusting but identifying it and having a name there really does help for us to all get along and make life a little easier for everyone. We won't understand everyone perfectly, we will misunderstand one another - but knowing what to look for can reduce that mistake. It's life after all, in all its beautiful array of colours.

Anyway - a bit off-topic but ye

Off-topic but your idiolect is my favourite

[djpetrin15]

Hoo boy. This might be interesting. Forgive me if this sounds like I'm pouring out my soul.
During years 7-9 I remained the annoying boastful pipsqueak from primary school who was really unapproachable because he thought the norm was to be smart. Year 10-11 I finally realised that that view was a complete mistake, as it prevented me from getting anywhere with most people, but instead of changing it, I moved into a very isolated state. I spent a lot of time thinking I had Asperger's or something along those lines. Mind you, I was isolated before, but this time it was a sad isolated, feeling like I was unable to really connect to anyone.
Now I still share the views I had, but I've tried to change. The annoying boastful pipsqueak is gone, replaced by the wisecracking cynic, but still a more friendly and approachable person. In addition, I have learnt that I am good as a mediator, and at giving moral support and advice to others. I still have had trouble connecting to others in my school, because of how I view my first impressions, but with new people (whom I often refer to as 'clean slates', for the reasons above), I can really forge a good relationship.
Most importantly, over the past two years, I've started talking to this kid who is currently in Year 8. He was like the annoying boastful version of me, kind of struggling to talk to people because of how he communicated, in a way that he continually flaunted his brains. I feel that I have helped to change him, in that he now realises, from a guy who made the same mistakes, that he needs to present a different version of himself, the funny quirky side that is great about him. That, I feel, has been the most important part of my development - I have been able to change someone else.
I am looking forward to Uni because I feel like my changed personality could help me make some great new friends and fix my cynical views. I know I still have room to improve and I think this could change by meeting a brand new group of people.