Essay Marking for the Selective School Exam

[Aearator]

Hi,
I am new to this forum and this is my first essay which I am posting. Can you please provide the feedback?

Topic: Is scientific research the key to solve all human problems.

Scientific research is the key to solving all human problems. Would we be where we are right now if not for scientific research? Would we have great medical discoveries, newest advanced technology or just the normal everyday objects we use?

Scientific research is the key to all human problems. So, what's the major problem humans face? Medical problems. with the scientific research we've done in the last 20 years, we've finally discovered a blood test which is able to detect common types of cancers up to 2 years before it occurs. This is a ground-breaking discovery which would have not been found if not for scientific research. This is why scientific research is the answer to all human problems. Don't you think as well?

Scientific research is the key to solving all human problems because it has helped us advance in technology so much! For example, in the military, smart robots are being employed to check and undetonate bombs which has saved countless lives so far. In another perspective, advanced machines are being used in car and hardware constructing factories to maximize the work efficiency. Now, do you thinks scientific research is the key to solving all human problems?

Scientific research is the key to solving all human problems. Would we have all the common gadgets we use everyday and take for granted be here if not for scientific research? How much scientific research did Thomas Edison do to invent the light bulb? Behind every object we use today, a lot of scientific research has done to invent and improve it. Now, do you think scientific research is the key to all human problems?

Scientific research is the answer to all human problems. It has already help us achieve and learn so many things. Just imagine the infinite things it can help us achieve and learn in the future.

Once again, can you guys please provide me some feedback.
 

Thanks for the help. 

Do you go to JAC, because that’s like, the exact same topic we did this week

[bugattiveyron]

Hey guys, can you please provide me feedback on my narrative essay. Thanks.
On a deserted island

Thirsty. No water. No food. I was stranded on a deserted island. There was no fresh water to drink, nothing to eat. There was just a group of large, luscious plants exactly in the middle of island. I searched every inch of the island and was unsuccessful in finding anything useful.

After 2 days on this island, I realized that the plants on the island can't be alive if not for a pure water source, so, I dug near the trees and voila, I had found a clean water source. I scooped up as much as I could with my skinny hands and filtered out the sand and gulped it up. I let out a great sigh of relief. Now, with my main problem out of the way, I turned to another. Food. As far as I could see on the surface, there was just sand and on the inland, just weeds and inedible plants. How was this possible, how was there no food on this island. I looked up to the sky and just then I saw something my eye's couldn't comprehend. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief and opened them once again. There were ripe bananas hanging from the tree. As I was very weak, I kept throwing small rocks at the bananas and eventually a few fell down. I couldn't believe on what a fortune I had struck. I peeled and ate the bananas one by one until I had eaten a whole tree's worth. 

Then, my final problem arose. Escape. The first thought that came to mind was a raft. I managed to cut some wood and create a raft and yet it barely managed to float and so that idea became a total bust. Then I finally decided the best decision was to order stones to say SOS. And that was exactly what I did. After that I just waited. One day, two days, three days and it went on and on and I was kept waiting. The truth was finally sinking in. I was going to die on this island one day or another.

I curled up into a ball and tears start flowing out of my eyes. I finally realized all hope was lost. I was as good as dead. Just then I heard a boat ripping through the water. I stood up and shouted as loud as I could until my voice started cracking. But the boat kept on moving and didn't even come my way. Maybe it was destiny for me to die in this horrible place drinking sandy water and eating bananas everyday. Just then, I heard a a chopper's blade spinning in the air. I slowly looked up and saw a chopper with a ladder sticking out it and a guy shouting at me to grab on and climb up.

I was saved! Starstruck, I climbed up the ladder to safety and flew back to civilization.

Thanks for correcting my previous essay.
Thanks and regards.

[zhen]

Hey guys, can you please provide me feedback on my narrative essay. Thanks.
On a deserted island

Thirsty. No water. No food. I was stranded on a deserted island. There was no fresh water to drink, nothing to eat. Repetition of the first three sentences. I feel like repeating things is a waste of time There was just a group of large, luscious plants exactly in the middle of island. I searched every inch of the island and was unsuccessful in finding anything useful.

After 2 days on this island, I realized that the plants on the island can't be alive if not for a pure water source, so, I dug near the trees and voila, I had found a clean water source. I scooped up as much as I could with my skinny hands and filtered out the sand and gulped it up. I let out a great sigh of relief. Now, with my main problem out of the way, I turned to another. Food. As far as I could see on the surface, there was just sand and on the inland, just weeds and inedible plants. How was this possible, how was there no food on this island. I looked up to the sky and just then I saw something my eye's couldn't comprehend. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief and opened them once again. There were ripe bananas hanging from the tree. As I was very weak, I kept throwing small rocks at the bananas and eventually a few fell down. I couldn't believe on what a fortune I had struck. This isn’t really expressed well. Maybe describe the waves of excitement from finally getting something to eat I peeled and ate the bananas one by one until I had eaten a whole tree's worth.    There’s nothing really wrong with this paragraph. However, I always associated these deserted island stories as ones where it was important to showcase the person’s thoughts and feelings as they went through this lifethreatening experience. So, describing how the character is feeling would in my opinion make this a bit more interesting. 

Then, my final problem arose. Escape. The first thought that came to mind was a raft. I managed to cut some wood and create a raft and yet it barely managed to float and so that idea became a total bust. I think you’re progressing from one thing to the next without properly fleshing out each event. Like how did the person feel after the raft didn’t float? Did they keep trying again and again or did they lose hope immediately? Then I finally decided the best decision was to order stones to say SOS. And that was exactly what I did. After that I just waited. One day, two days, three days and it went on and on and I was kept waiting. The truth was finally sinking in. I was going to die on this island one day or another.  I think there is a massive missed opportunity to show the character gradually losing hope and to parallel this with the character’s body growing weaker due to the lack of food and resources.

I curled up into a ball and tears started The whole piece is past tense flowing out of my eyes. I finally realized all hope was lost. I was as good as dead. Just then I heard a boat ripping through the water. I stood up and shouted as loud as I could until my voice started cracking. But the boat kept on moving and didn't even come my way. Maybe it was destiny for me to die in this horrible place drinking sandy water and eating bananas everyday. Just then, I heard a a chopper's blade spinning in the air. I slowly looked up and saw a chopper with a ladder sticking out it and a guy shouting at me to grab on and climb up.

I was saved! Starstruck, I climbed up the ladder to safety and flew back to civilization.

Thanks for correcting my previous essay.
Thanks and regards.

Overall pretty good creative. Some good description and a decent story. I just feel like there are missed opportunities to describe the character’s feelings or other things in detail. It feels like you’re moving from one event to another without properly delving into each event separately. Anyway, great job and keep up the good work! 

[bugattiveyron]

Hey guys, I did another creative essay today on the topic: "The haunted house". 

I jogged past it as I normally do everyday. The haunted house. The rumor has it, a hundred years ago, it was once a very ordinary home where people came and went. But suddenly one day, the maid came in to do her normal cleaning, she found them lying on the floor. Dead. She flew out of the house screaming out the news of the death of the family. The news spread like a wildfire through the townspeople. The next day the police came to investigate the mysterious death but found there was no cuts or wounds on their bodies. Until today, the death of the family remains a mystery.

For over a hundred years now, it has been thought the cause of the death of the family was that the house was haunted. The lack of maintenance resulted in it becoming completely broken down. The paint on the wooden boards were peeling off and all possible entrances were blocked by thick wooden planks. Today, I felt very adventurous, so I went past the fence and near the house. Suddenly a disgusting pong came from the house. It smelt like rotten fruits and dirty socks combined. I found a filthy crowbar by the side of home and held it with my gloved hand. With great difficulty, I ripped of the planks from the door and sluggishly entered inside. It was nothing like I was expecting it to be. There were bright white tiles on floor which looked as if they had been polished everyday.

Suddenly I heard a voice coming from the kitchen and I crouched behind a cupboard over-viewing what was happening.  A lady was in the kitchen pulling out what seemed to be baked potatoes from the oven and placing it on a dining table where there was two kids and a father. I watched in awe of the scene that was unfolding before my eyes. What was happening? But something didn't look right about them. They were a bit... a bit... transparent. Whoa! They were ghosts living in their home. I rushed out of the house, starstruck. What a scene I had just witnessed. I had to tell someone else!

Can you please provide me some feedback. 
Thanks a lot to zhao who has provided me feedback very quickly.
Thanks

[TheSapaInca]

Nice topics, I wonder who you got them for or if you are going to give any credit

[Aearator]

Nice topics, I wonder who you got them for or if you are going to give any credit

Shots fired 

[Aearator]

Topic: Educational institutions should actively encourage students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.

Educational institutions and organisations, such as primary and high schools, offer a diverse range of subjects in their curriculum. However, actively suggesting to students to take specific subjects simply because they have better job prospects or are deemed more profitable is absolutely outrageous as a student might be prevented from picking fields of study that actually interest them, and also because this creates a learning environment in which students develop a minuscule amount of skills and abilities.

Educational institutions should not push students to pick profitable careers as it can potentially prevent a student from partaking in a subject that they are passionate about. Imagine your child has an interest in music, but the school that they attend forces them to take science instead because there are better job opportunities. Would you want you or your child to attend this school? Thus, educational institutions should not push students to pick profitable careers.

Educational institutions should not push students to pick subjects which offer greater financial benefits as this causes students to develop a narrow skill set. Only studying a few subjects in school can cause a student to not properly experience certain situations and hardships that can expand their skill set, and a multitude of skills and abilities is crucial as it can improve an individual's performance in a work environment. An example of a few skills that would be beneficial in a workplace would be good problem solving and communication skills. Therefore, educational institutions should not push students to only participate in potentially profitable fields of study.

Educational centres should definitely not regularly encourage students to choose more lucrative careers as students may not choose the subjects that they are passionate about, and they also develop a narrow set of skills and abilities which can reduce an individual's performance in a workplace situation.
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Finished in a little over 15 minutes, but couldn't write a third argument/rebuttal  . Btw, I'm trying out for year 9 entry. I also had some questions regarding the structure of persuasive writing. First of all, do we have to include a persuasive device in each paragraph, and if we don't will we get marks taken off? And also, if you choose to write a rebuttal will we get like additional marks, or is a third argument or rebuttal marked equally? Lastly, do we have to write the title/topic in persuasive/creative writing or can we just skip straight to the writing part? Thanks so much 

[zhen]

Hey guys, I did another creative essay today on the topic: "The haunted house". 

I jogged past it as I normally do everyday. The haunted house. The rumor has it, a hundred years ago, it was once a very ordinary home where people came and went. But suddenly one day, when the maid came in to do her normal cleaning, she found them Who are you referring to. Since you’ve only mentioned that people came and went and you haven’t specified who “them” is lying on the floor. Dead. She flew out of the house screaming out the news of the death of the family. I feel like this sounds a bit off The news spread like a wildfire through the townspeople. The next day the police came to investigate the mysterious death but found there was no cuts or wounds on their bodies. Until today, the death of the family remains a mystery. Too much describing and providing background information. This bit should be condensed or you could maybe even take out 80% of this. Not enough time in 15 minutes to spend doing detailed backstories and all that.

For over a hundred years now, it has been thought the cause of the death of the family was that the house was haunted. I feel like you may be cramming too much into one sentence, which is making this sound clunky The lack of maintenance resulted in it becoming completely broken down. The paint on the wooden boards were peeling off and all possible entrances were blocked by thick wooden planks. Today, I felt very adventurous, so I went past the fence and near the house. Suddenly a disgusting pong I had to look this word up and honestly it sounds awkward the way you put it. Maybe stench would be better? came from the house. It smelt like rotten fruits and dirty socks combined. I found a filthy crowbar by the side of home and held it with my gloved hand. With great difficulty, I ripped of the planks from the door and sluggishly entered inside. It was nothing like I was expecting it to be. There were bright white tiles on floor which looked as if they had been polished everyday.

Suddenly I heard a voice coming from the kitchen and I crouched behind a cupboard over-viewing what was happening.  A lady was in the kitchen pulling out what seemed to be baked potatoes from the oven and placing it on a dining table where there was two kids and a father. I watched in awe of the scene that was unfolding before my eyes. What was happening? But something didn't look right about them. They were a bit... a bit... transparent. Whoa! They were ghosts living in their home. I rushed out of the house, starstruck. What a scene I had just witnessed. I had to tell someone else!

Can you please provide me some feedback. 
Thanks a lot to zhao who has provided me feedback very quickly.
Thanks

Decent creative with some good descriptions, but maybe try to focus on the main plot more and enhance those descriptions by minimalising the background information.

Topic: Educational institutions should actively encourage students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.

Educational institutions and organisations, such as primary and high schools, offer a diverse range of subjects in their curriculum. However, actively suggesting to students to take specific subjects simply because they have better job prospects or are deemed more profitable is absolutely outrageous as a student might be prevented from picking fields of study that actually interest them, and also because this creates a learning environment in which students develop a minuscule amount of skills and abilities.

Educational institutions should not push students to pick profitable careers as it can potentially prevent a student from partaking in a subject that they are passionate about. Imagine your child has an interest in music, but the school that they attend condense to their school forces them to take science instead because there are better job opportunities. Would you want you or your child to attend this school? Thus, educational institutions should not push students to pick profitable careers. Good idea, but not executed that well. If you want to be more persuasive, emphasise the adverse effect of being forced to do subjects. Emphasise the disinterest and sadness the children will feel. 

Educational institutions Repetition like this should be avoided should not push students to pick subjects which offer greater financial benefits as this causes students to develop a narrow skill set. Only studying a few subjects in school can cause a student to not properly experience certain situations and hardships that can expand their skill set, and a multitude of skills and abilities is crucial as it can improve an individual's performance in a work environment. This sentence is a bit too long and convoluted An example of a few skills that would be beneficial in a workplace would be good problem solving and communication skills. Therefore, educational institutions should not push students to only participate in potentially profitable fields of study. I think this was a pretty decent argument

Educational centres should The educational centres/institutions should not... sentence structure is getting too repetitive definitely not regularly encourage students to choose more lucrative careers as students may not choose the subjects that they are passionate about, and they also develop a narrow set of skills and abilities which can reduce an individual's performance in a workplace situation.
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Finished in a little over 15 minutes, but couldn't write a third argument/rebuttal  . Btw, I'm trying out for year 9 entry. I also had some questions regarding the structure of persuasive writing. First of all, do we have to include a persuasive device in each paragraph, and if we don't will we get marks taken off? And also, if you choose to write a rebuttal will we get like additional marks, or is a third argument or rebuttal marked equally? Lastly, do we have to write the title/topic in persuasive/creative writing or can we just skip straight to the writing part? Thanks so much 

Persuasive devices aren’t needed in every paragraph. Good writing and fleshed out arguments are much more important. I don’t think it matters if you choose a rebuttal or a third argument. I didn’t write the title for mine and I don’t think you would have to either. Overall your piece was decent, so keep up the good work. 

[cloudyy]

Hi! Here's my second or third creative writing in preparation for Year 9 selective schools. I’d really appreciate it if you could mark it (😂 the only thing that came to my mind is those dramatic popular girls in high school cause I’ve been watching movies like mean girls recently,, I’m so sorry if it’s cringy or something I swear I usually don’t write things like this 😂)

Topic- The new student

As I arranged my false lashes, all the boys around me stared at me. I knew they were speechless. After all, I was the most mesmerising girl in this school.

Everyone favourites me. Even the teachers. I had the silkiest brunette hair, forest-like green eyes and thick lips that every girls wished and admired so badly. I had good grades, too. Not the best, but good enough. I wasn’t surly like those popular girls in movies and books to teachers, but I was to some girls who had no sense of fashion what-so-ever.  They were freaks and nerds. I loathed girls like that. Ugh.

But on 19th of April, few days after Term 2 had started, in Year 9, my fame had fallen down like parachute falling down from the sky.

At first, when she stepped into our class, I casually thought, ‘she’s just a new girl.’

But it turned out that I was the only one thinking that.   

The new student, Eliza Hammet, turned out to be mesmerising to everyone than me. She had silk like black hair dark as charcoal like her eyes. Her lips were naturally red and treated everyone even the freaks and nerds like her best friends. The boys moved their interest to Eliza from me too.

But no one seemed to realise that Eliza was constantly but secretly hating me since the 20th of April. It was like she loathed me like I loathed the freaks and nerds.

Now even I wasn’t the teachers’ favourite now. Eliza was much more well-behaved than me and was in the top for the student of the year.

It was like I was forgotten just in few days and my popularity was moved to the new student, Eliza.

I gulped, scared and wary about what Eliza would do to me in the future, now that she have taken all popularity and honour I had from this school.

[jz27]

Topic- The new student

As I arranged my false lashes, all the boys around me stared at me. I knew they were speechless. After all, I was the most mesmerising girl in this school.

Everyone favourites me. Even the teachers. I had the silkiest brunette hair, forest-like green eyes and thick lips that every girls wished and admired so badly. I had good grades, too. Not the best, but good enough. I wasn’t surly like those popular girls in movies and books to teachers, but I was to some girls who had no sense of fashion what-so-ever.  They were freaks and nerds. I loathed girls like that. Ugh.

But on 19th of April, few days after Term 2 had started, in Year 9, my fame had fallen down like parachute falling down from the sky. This is a bad metaphor. If you are trying to indicate her 'fame' (should be 'popularity') dropped instantly, using heavy objects that drop fast should be used

At first, when she stepped into our class, I casually thought, ‘she’s just a new girl.’

But it turned out that I was the only one thinking that.   

The new student, Eliza Hammet, turned out to be mesmerising to everyone than me. She had silk like black hair dark as charcoal like her eyes. Her lips were naturally red and treated everyone even the freaks and nerds like her best friends. The boys moved their interest to Eliza from me too.

But no one seemed to realise that Eliza was constantly but secretly hating me since the 20th of April. It was like she loathed me like I loathed the freaks and nerds.

Now even I wasn’t the teachers’ favourite now. Eliza was much more well-behaved than me and was in the top for the student of the year.

It was like I was forgotten just in few days and my popularity was moved to the new student, Eliza.

I gulped, scared and wary about what Eliza would do to me in the future, now that she have taken all popularity and honour I had from this school.

The plot is quite basic, and there needs to be more description. Words are used out of context. Otherwise, an alright essay for 15 mins

[Aearator]

Topic: Parents should go to jail if their does anything illegal.

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Many children, at some point, commit some form of a misdemeanour. Though, a small portion of these children may commit some extreme and heinous crimes, such as underage drinking or illegal drug dealing. Some people are quick to label the child’s parents as the root cause for such an atrocity, and some go as far as to say that the repercussion of such a felony should also go to the parents. However, this opinion is completely absurd as there are also other outside factors that contribute to a child’s actions, and some parents may just raise their kids the wrong way.

Parents should not be sent or jail if their kid does an illegal crime as they might not be the root cause of their child’s actions. A kid may commit illegal crimes due to outside factors, such as peer pressure or simply developing friendships with the wrong people. The parent should not automatically be charged for this as other factors contribute to their child’s actions. Thus, parents should not go to jail for their kid’s illegal crimes.

Parents should not be sent to jail if their kid does an illegal crime as they may have simply not parented their kid correctly. Many parents may just place too much stress on their child, or they might have done something else that might seem minor, but could consequently lead to an extreme action being done by their child. Many parents simply do not realise these mistakes as it seems like such a minuscule action that would have no real consequences. Therefore, they should not be charged as they can not properly judge what their own action’s consequences may be. Hence, parents should not be sent to jail for their child’s illegal crimes.

Parents should indubitably not be sent to jail for their child’s felonies as they might not be the main cause for their children’s crimes as there might be outside factors that contribute immensely to their child’s decision to commit a crime. Also, they might make a minor error in their parenting that would have detrimental impacts on their child’s actions, and it is unfair to charge them for this as many parents do not release that they have made these mistakes.

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Whatever I do, I just can’t seem to get the proper time to edit, or the time to write my rebuttal lol. Hopefully it will come with practice.

[crystahlll]

hey, i really hope someone can help me mark >< because my y11 exam is in a few days!

Prompt: image of girl looking outside window. Below the image says "What happens next?"

   The world outside home seemed so alive. So carefree. I looked down at the labyrinthe streets filled with people. A family of three caught my eye. The daughter,
sandwiched in between her parents, had a huge grin plastered on her face. It was such a simple vision - a happy family but something I will never be able to possess.
   A loud shatter pierced the air. I buried my head in my hands as I anticipated what would come within seconds - the roar of my father's voice, followed by my mother's soft cries. My vision blurred as I felt tears well up in my eyes- I shook my head and bit my lip. Why must I cry over an everyday occurence?
   The door slammed open, snapping me out of my thoughts.
   "Look at your useless daughter!" my father slurred, pointing one accusatory finger at me. "She can't do anything right and I have to shoulder the burden of taking care of this rubbish family!"
   My hands balled into fists upon hearing the insults thrown at me. What angered me most was the sight of my trembling mother, trying to put up a facade that she is alright with her quivery smiles. What did my father, an irresponsible drunkard, ever do for this family in the first place.
   Something in me snapped. I grabbed the beer bottle out of his hands and smashed it on the ground.
   I screamed at him, pushing past my mother's loose grip. "You are nothing but an abusive man who treats his family like dirt! I wish-"
   Before I could finish, a hand flew across me and I felt my consciousness fading.

thank you!

[crystahlll]

hey, i wrote a persuasive piece too! do give feedback thanks!

Prompt: Write a persuasive piece arguing for or against global laws banning whaling.

   There is an increasing trend of various animal species being endangered, or worse, going extinct. In light of such an alarming trend, I strongly believe that global laws banning whaling are necessary as these laws will protect whales and keep the ecosystem in balance.
   FIrstly, whales are already an endangered species. This puts them in grave danger of going extinct if there are no laws banning whaling globally as large food chains will be free to hunt down whales without facing criminal charges. Despite being a worrying situation which should be a grave concern, there is a rising trend of animals going extinct, especially animals whose parts can be sold for great value, such as elephants which are often hunted for their tusks. Without laws banning whaling, the number of whales will continue shrinking rapidly and the fact that whales are endangered signifies that we need strict measures such as global laws in order to improve the situation and protect whales.
   Moreover, by protecting whales, this ensures that the ecosystem is kept in balance. The marine environment follows a food chain and should whales go extinct as a consequence of not having laws banning whaling, the ecosystem will be disrupted as whales are huge predators that prey on fish. Indisputably, the food chain will be left with a problem.

[TheSapaInca]

hey, i wrote a persuasive piece too! do give feedback thanks!

Prompt: Write a persuasive piece arguing for or against global laws banning whaling.

   There is an increasing trend of various animal species being endangered, or worse, going extinct. In light of such an alarming trend, I strongly believe that global laws banning whaling are necessary as these laws will protect whales and keep the ecosystem in balance.
   FIrstly, whales are already an endangered species. This puts them in grave danger of going extinct if there are no laws banning whaling globally as large food chains will be free to hunt down whales without facing criminal charges. Despite being a worrying situation which should be a grave concern, there is a rising trend of animals going extinct, especially animals whose parts can be sold for great value, such as elephants which are often hunted for their tusks. Without laws banning whaling, the number of whales will continue shrinking rapidly and the fact that whales are endangered signifies that we need strict measures such as global laws in order to improve the situation and protect whales.
   Moreover, by protecting whales, this ensures that the ecosystem is kept in balance. The marine environment follows a food chain and should whales go extinct as a consequence of not having laws banning whaling, the ecosystem will be disrupted as whales are huge predators that prey on fish. Indisputably, the food chain will be left with a problem.

Well, for me, the main flaw I find without starting to read you essay is your structure. You should have an introduction, three body paragraphs and a conclusion at least. If you can think of one, add a rebuttal.

For the essay itself, I will leave it to a more educated individual to correct.

[Starstuff]

Hi, can someone mark my essay please? I think I might have made up a lot of stuff and perhaps used some words in the wrong context

Gambling advertisements should/not be on TV
Gambling is when people “bet” and place money into a game of chance in order to supposingly gain more money afterwards (if they win). This has caused many issues such as gambling addictions and loss of money. Gambling is seen all over television and is causing more harm than good thus should not be advertised on television as it makes people want to gamble even more and contradicts what non-gambling advertisements are trying to achieve.

The issue of gambling advertisements presented on TV is that it increases the motivation of people wanting to gamble as it “over-exposes” them to this “game of chance” and betting for money. Some gamblers (as they are called) struggle with a “gambling addiction” through constantly wanting to “bet” to win money but this “betting” can instead can go against them, and instead, they would lose more money than gain. Advertising gambling could make gambling addicts think about gambling thus their struggling “addiction” will be hard to end. Thus gambling advertisements should not be shown on TV.

In addition, gambling advertisements oppose anti-gambling advertisements that are also present on television. Nowadays, anti-gambling activists are trying to get people off gambling but these advertisements are hindering the ability to do that which confuses some and contradicts the anti-gambling ideas making them non-effective on gamblers.

Although gambling advertisements are causing havoc within society, it is important to recognise that if gambling advertisements are not publicated, this could quickly deteriorate the gambling industry - in fact, could potentially issue the downfall of gambling services with many losing their jobs in the process. Not many people gamble, but those that do; they gamble a lot. Especially within modern times, these people that lose their jobs in the gambling industry may struggle to find new jobs in other industries due to “small jobs” having been taken over by automation.

To conclude, gambling advertisements should not be on TV as it does not stop addicts from quitting their “gambling addiction” and it also contradicts the goal of anti-gambling advertisements. Despite this, advertising gambling would increase profit for the gambling industry, with publication, this industry would suffer from the lack of gambling and could potentially shut down leaving jobless peers.