English Advanced : AOS Speech/Essay

[bobcheng1111]

Hi I was pretty consistantly getting As in my advanced essays throughout this year, but crashed down with this speech by only getting 11/15 , so  was wandering what I lacked/ didn't do properly in it as the feedback said my presentation was fine and that the speech's content was the main issue thank you!
The question given to us was : “Representations of discovery are made memorable through the composer's ways of communicating.” Discuss this view in relation to your personal understanding of discovery.

[angewina_naguen]

Hi I was pretty consistantly getting As in my advanced essays throughout this year, but crashed down with this speech by only getting 11/15 , so  was wandering what I lacked/ didn't do properly in it as the feedback said my presentation was fine and that the speech's content was the main issue thank you!
The question given to us was : “Representations of discovery are made memorable through the composer's ways of communicating.” Discuss this view in relation to your personal understanding of discovery.

Hey, bobcheng1111!

Sorry to hear about what happened  It must've been really disheartening. I worked on some annotations and feedback for your speech over the last two days so I hope they're of use to you. I fixated my feedback around your speech's content but also gave you some more pointers  on presentation or ways to consider structuring a speech to make your ideas flow more. I hope you can see all the annotations in the attachment and that this helps in some way! Have a good day and let me know if there's anything you need clarified 

Angelina 

[bobcheng1111]

Hey, bobcheng1111!

Sorry to hear about what happened  It must've been really disheartening. I worked on some annotations and feedback for your speech over the last two days so I hope they're of use to you. I fixated my feedback around your speech's content but also gave you some more pointers  on presentation or ways to consider structuring a speech to make your ideas flow more. I hope you can see all the annotations in the attachment and that this helps in some way! Have a good day and let me know if there's anything you need clarified 

Angelina 

Hey Angelina thanks so much for the feedback ! Unfortunately, I won't be able to read it tonight, but I'll have an in depth read of it  tomorrow for sure. Thank you once again !