Hi. Made another attempt to write a creative piece for this SAC. This is an entirely different piece, so I wasn't sure whether to just add to my previous post or make a new post for feedback. Also tried to write a statement of intention for this piece and I'm still having trouble writing about the intended audience, its purpose and its context. Not entirely sure what I should write about for these.
Little Miss Cici
2:30am – 21st of June
I can’t believe it. I can’t believe I actually did it. I made it out. I’ve only packed the essentials like a few clothes and my guitar. I am so ready to leave my suburban life behind! Of course little miss Cecilia Joy deserves all the credit here. She was the one who planned this whole scheme out and helped me escape the house without my parents noticing. She was the one who had all the connections in the city. She’s the one with the car and license. We’re about 3 hours away from the city now and she has an apartment set up for us so we can finally live our dream of playing in a concert. I can see it now, the bright lights, towering skyscrapers and the massive crowds surrounding the both of us. It’s going to be killer.
2:00pm – 22nd of June
So just woke up after the long travel. We pretty much crashed as soon as we got our stuff inside at around 6am I think? The place Cecilia picked out for us isn’t the greatest, there’s not a lot of room in the apartment and it’s still grimy but it’s enough for us right now and knowing her, she’s already got bigger plans waiting. Classic Cici. Her connections also got us through without any rent. Not sure how she does it but our landlord keeps staring at her lustfully but then again, who can resist her with that body? Anyway we need to start exposing ourselves to the public so we’re probably going busking tonight. We’ve got a few songs that Cecilia has written ready but luckily they’re all in the same key so learning chords should be easy enough.
11:30pm – 22nd of June
Just finished our first busking session together. I personally thought it went well but Cici is still making little comments about how the audience was so disruptive and about this one lady who, and I quote, “is a fat fucking whale who doesn’t deserve to have children.” She’s probably just frustrated that we didn’t get much money out of the crowd today but I’m optimistic for the future. We only just got our busking licenses today and we had to rush to not only find our spot but to set up equipment as well so our whole gig today felt pretty flustered. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
12:41am – 25th of June
Today was shitty in all honesty. I woke up to a sharp pain on the lower left side of my back and I can guarantee that it’s from the inflatable mattress Cici and I share. She says that once we get enough money, we’ll be able to replace it with an actual bed but after today’s session, I don’t think that’ll be happening any time soon. We were able to set up pretty early compared to yesterday and were able to secure the same spot as before but it must’ve been a pretty slow night because our whole street was practically barren. No people means no money. We’re slowly running out of food and I’m not sure how we are going to get through this. Cici keeps reassuring me that everything will be okay, but even I can tell that she’s getting pretty desperate. It’s going getting close to our 1 year anniversary soon. I hope I can get her something by then.
1:30pm – 2nd of July
Cici walked in on me trying to take a cold shower with a small parcel, the size of a small dictionary, in hand. She mentioned that it was from some record dealer who saw us perform a few nights ago as she passed it to me. I told her to wait until after I had showered but she kept persisting. So fully naked, I grabbed the razor blade I use to shave and opened it the box on the sink. The first thing that hit me was the smell: freshly printed plastic with a tinge of permanent marker. Before me were stacks on stacks of $100 dollar bills, all neatly packed within this small container. All I could do was stare at her. Knowing her she probably sweetened the deal so we could get some extra money but I didn’t care. All I cared about is that we had a chance for once.
8:30pm – 4th of July
We were supposed to set up about an hour ago and get ready for another busking session but Cici left the apartment about 2 hours ago and still hasn’t come back. I’ve tried calling her multiple times already but her phone must be out of battery because it kept putting me on voicemail. She did this yesterday too but she came back in time and we were still able to perform but I’m pretty sure it’s already too late for that now. I wonder where she is.
3:30am – 5th of July
She got back about an hour ago with another parcel. Much larger this time. I tried asking her where she’s been but she kept ignoring me, muttering how it’s from the recording agency and immediately crashed onto our newly made bed. As I attempt to tuck her in, I noticed the bruises on her neck. I just hope she’s going to be okay.
9:00pm – 8th of July
She’s left me alone again and we’re going to be missing our busking session for the fifth night in a row. I don’t know what to feel. I’m glad Cici is able to provide for us and that we’re able to build a future together but she keeps ditching our sessions for the record manager and she keeps getting hurt more and more. She’s been coming home with bruises on her neck, arms, legs, stomach. She thinks I don’t notice any of it but I do. I want to build our future together doing what we love and where both of us can be safe.
1:00am – 9th of July
She came back home bloodied, bruised and with a parcel in hand. Before she was able to get to the bedroom, I grabbed her shoulders and asked her where she’s been going. She replies with the record manager like always. I wasn’t letting her get away with it this time. I questioned whether the record dealer was abusing her and before she was able to act dumb I grabbed her sleeves and pulled it to reveal her bruises. That’s when she broke. It felt like our argument had lasted hours and I hoped our neighbours wouldn’t file a noise complaint on us. She accused me of verbal abuse, breach of privacy and hurled insult after insult at me. I could barely see the tears in her eyes behind my own. I didn’t think that less than a month in that we would’ve already fallen apart.
11:30pm – 9th of July
It’s been quiet since last night. This whole day, we’ve just been walking past each other, no words, only frustrated glances. I wish I could’ve said anything just to try and relieve the tension but I was too scared that it would make it worse. I doubt that we’re going to perform tonight either.
2:00am – 10th of July
Fuck! She’s gone. I woke up around 1:30 when my phone got a notification. It was Cici. She said that she couldn’t do it anymore and doesn’t want me to get involved with her shit. She said that she still loved me and wanted me to take care of myself. She told me that there was something for me under my bed. It was another parcel with a sticky note placed on top; “Why not buy a TV for us Tristan?”
1:00pm – 13th of July
I turned on the small cable TV I bought only to realise what Cici was trying to protect me from. “Breaking News: BDSM Brothel closed after illegal ice import.” They showed pictures, many of pictures of the brothel, the ice and finally the people. All they showed was a grid of mug shots and among all the crazy men was my little Cici. Life time in jail. Life time in jail were the four words that snapped me out my montage of memories with Cici and those four words were what made me realise that I could never go back. I’m stuck here in some shabby apartment, no job and no food. Every time I think of busking I can only think of her and it only reminds me of where she is right now and all I can do is cry. All this thanks to little miss Cici, but hey, at least I have free rent.
Statement of Intention:
‘Little Miss Cici’ takes on the themes of belonging and the idea of moving out into the modern world that stories in the book ‘Island’ utilise very often. However, this piece also highlights the troubles that are faced when moving into a new environment from lack of money evident through the “cold showers” and “inflatable bed,” causing “sharp pains.” Rather than moving out of Nova Scotia into the modern cities of Toronto, Tristan moves out of his suburban life style which he was so “ready to leave… behind,” to the city to pursue his own goals of being a musician. This is similar to how many of the younger generations in Island tend to move out to follow a more modern and educated lifestyle. It also contrasts with many of Island’s stories as the woman is the one in charge of the relationship rather than the man as Cecilia was “the one who planned this whole scheme out,” and was getting all the money to help them survive.
The name Cecilia Joy holds a lot of meaning and foreshadows what happens to her and Tristan in the story. Cecilia means “blind” or “leader of the blind” while Joy is derived from Joya which means “following the heart.” Ultimately, the idea of being blind and blindly following her heart is portrayed in the story where the two follow their dreams of being musicians but failed to see the complications in living independently. Tristan also has been foreshadowing his loss of Cecilia as the name means full of sorrow in Latin. In “Island”, MacLeod tends to vary his sentence structure to not only create interest but to show tension. This aspect was portrayed through the journal entries based on their length. At times where Tristan was able to reflect on what happened and usually through pleasant memories, longer paragraphs were utilised. During scenes where action had just taken place and Tristan needs to act, shorter sentences are used to evoke tension. In many of MacLeod’s stories such as The Boat and The Road to Rankin’s Point, the narrator’s name tends to be mentioned once near the middle or the end of the story and that is a similarity displayed here where the name Tristan was only revealed through Cecilia’s note.
Little Miss Cici was written in a journal entry format. As it was coming straight from Tristan’s point of view, the writing is very informal, in first person and often colloquial with many run off sentences that would only make sense if it was being narrated such as “Much bigger this time.” The initial tone of the piece is romanticised and idealistic in the way he talks about how they can “live [their] dream” of being musicians with “massive crowds” around them. The intended audience is mostly to younger adults who can relate to the feelings of being independent and to pursue their dream careers.
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