English Advanced Creative Writing

[jamonwindeyer]

Hey there,
I finally had the chance to refine my creative so it would be greatly appreciated if someone were to take another look at my creative.

Thanks in advance!

I can I'll stick some comments in the Word Document and attach it below.

...

Right! So I didn't add a heap of comments throughout, the ones I did were nitpicks. A few spots where expression isn't quite right (read it out loud to a friend, guaranteed way to catch 90% of errors like that).

Overall, I love the idea of the Creative and particularly like the element of the Indonesian language you bring to what is (being honest) a fairly cliched scenario for Discovery creatives. You give it enough difference to make it stand out, excellent stuff. Make sure your Creative can meaningfully represent different types of Discovery - I think you could focus a bit more on how the Discovery benefits the relationship between the character and the grandmother, or perhaps link it more to Indonesian culture, to name a few ideas.

My biggest point of improvement for you would probably be over-description. I think you need to go through, ditch some adjectives, use it as an excuse to get the word count down into the 800's to give yourself more breathing room under pressure. I mention it in a comment, if you describe everything, it's almost like describing nothing. Imagery and description is just as much a technique as a metaphor, and it should be used for impact in specific ways, to emphasise specific things.

Overall, it's about efficiency. When you throw a 50-word segment out there, even if it is great use of imagery, if it doesn't further the concept or the story then it is wasted words

Hope this roasting is helpful - I saw that DP only had small comments last time, and I thought, "Well, challenge accepted."

[owidjaja]

Hope this roasting is helpful - I saw that DP only had small comments last time, and I thought, "Well, challenge accepted."

Haha any roasting is helpful

But yeah, thanks for that

[theyam]

Hello,

Just wanted to say your creative reminded me a lot of my own discovery one. I have a persona visiting her grandfather and a discovery occurs because my persona finds a photograph. It was a great read.
Hope you find my feedback helpful.

From theyam

[owidjaja]

Hello,

Just wanted to say your creative reminded me a lot of my own discovery one. I have a persona visiting her grandfather and a discovery occurs because my persona finds a photograph. It was a great read.
Hope you find my feedback helpful.

From theyam

Hey there,
Thanks for the feedback Will definitely take it on board!

[owidjaja]

Hey guys,
I finally fixed up my creative (after a few months lmao) so it would be great if I could get some feedback on it.

[owidjaja]

Hey guys,
So here's my updated creative so any feedback would be great

[jamonwindeyer]

Hey guys,
So here's my updated creative so any feedback would be great

Hey! Feedback attached, it is mostly mechanics and nitpicks in the comments, you could probably ignore most of them   I think you should play up the barrier between the two more at the start, make it super clear that there is a disconnect. Maybe the character reflects a bit on being forced to stay there (for whatever reason), or something. Do what you can to symbolise that at the start, and that will add emphasis to the ending

Great stuff Olivia

[owidjaja]

Hey! Feedback attached, it is mostly mechanics and nitpicks in the comments, you could probably ignore most of them   I think you should play up the barrier between the two more at the start, make it super clear that there is a disconnect. Maybe the character reflects a bit on being forced to stay there (for whatever reason), or something. Do what you can to symbolise that at the start, and that will add emphasis to the ending

Great stuff Olivia

Hey there,
Thanks for the feedback! Would you say my creative is malleable enough? (My teacher suggested to prepare two creative pieces just in case...)

[jamonwindeyer]

Hey there,
Thanks for the feedback! Would you say my creative is malleable enough? (My teacher suggested to prepare two creative pieces just in case...)

Have you tried writing it in response to Trial exams? If so, how did it go? That's the best way to judge

[owidjaja]

Have you tried writing it in response to Trial exams? If so, how did it go? That's the best way to judge

I've flicked through some and they seem to work fine. I'm just worried that the discovery aspect isn't explicit enough, but saying something like "I was so shocked about my discovery" becomes obviously jarring.

Like 'complex discoveries'- the term 'complex' is quite vague so what exactly is the criteria of having a 'complex' discovery??

[dermite]

I've flicked through some and they seem to work fine. I'm just worried that the discovery aspect isn't explicit enough, but saying something like "I was so shocked about my discovery" becomes obviously jarring.

Like 'complex discoveries'- the term 'complex' is quite vague so what exactly is the criteria of having a 'complex' discovery??

(kinda) following from the above quote, at what point does a discovery become too implicit or too explicit?

[jamonwindeyer]

I've flicked through some and they seem to work fine. I'm just worried that the discovery aspect isn't explicit enough, but saying something like "I was so shocked about my discovery" becomes obviously jarring.

Like 'complex discoveries'- the term 'complex' is quite vague so what exactly is the criteria of having a 'complex' discovery??

Your Discovery is definitely explicit enough in the creative above!

Complex is purposely vague, but it just means something with more nuance than a simple, "I discovered I love this person." Your discovery definitely has nuance

(kinda) following from the above quote, at what point does a discovery become too implicit or too explicit?

Too implicit - A marker who knows they are reading a Discovery text struggles to find a Discovery
Too explicit - A student who doesn't know they are reading a Discovery text goes, "Oh, this is a Discovery text."

The Discovery should come naturally from the story, but you shouldn't have to spell it out for the reader

[owidjaja]

Hey guys,
I was looking at last year's CSSA Trial Paper and the creative section says to compose a creative on childhood discovery in the perspective of an adult. My creative doesn't really establish how old the character is so how do I show that the character is reflecting on the childhood discovery?

[dancing phalanges]

Hey guys,
I was looking at last year's CSSA Trial Paper and the creative section says to compose a creative on childhood discovery in the perspective of an adult. My creative doesn't really establish how old the character is so how do I show that the character is reflecting on the childhood discovery?

I wouldn't worry about it! If it was in last year's paper I highly doubt it'll be there again! Just get some rest and you'll be fine