Doing well at school = losing friends?

[Eriny]

I was just interested as to whether anyone has lost friends or have had people drift away from them as a result of school. Either due to jealousy or the lack of time thing.

When I was doing year 12, I had a friend who kept being really condescending everytime I got a SAC mark back, saying things like "you just got lucky" or "I'm still better than you" and stuff. At first I thought it was a joke so I kind of just laughed if off but it was getting more and more annoying and insulting (or I was getting more sensitive due to tiredness...). So I confronted him, accused him of being jealous and we've only spoken a few times since.

Also, my best friend from year 8 to year 11 kind of just stopped talking to me in year 12 or would be rather passive-aggressive towards me. I have no idea if that was because of school though or because I offended her some other way (although I can't think of any instances where I would have, it's probably quite arrogant of me to think a person has stopped talking to me because they are jealous).

I was also talking to a girl in my UMEP class last year who was saying that her sister got a 92.something and all she did was work. She basically cut her friends out of her life and accused them all of being jealous whenever they confronted her about spending too much time studying. So, I guess it can work both ways.

I think people generally are less rational during VCE and they let the idea that they're being ranked amongst the state really get to them. Thankfully I still have some awesome friends who are great fun though.

[SilverBullet]

I can't really say I lost any friends because of VCE stress or anything related. I went to an all girls school and I can say that the level of bitchiness went up about 5 notches but I don't even think that could be entirely blamed on year 12. If anything it was that the girls who didn't care about their results couldn't understand why some girls did and couldn't give them the necessary space at school to study. During free periods the common room became a war zone. The girls who wanted to study would set up at one table and the girls who where there to socialize would set up on a different table. The fights started about 10 minutes into the period when the phones would come out and the girls would play music whilst talking at the top of their voices and the studious girls would crack the shits and tell them to go outside. It was nasty in there!!!

I'm more finding now that I'm drifting away from the girls I went to school with. I don't want it to happen but I find myself working a lot and whenever they want to catch up I'm working or already have plans to do something with the guys at work. What worries me is that I'm not really that phased that I haven't spoken to them much. :| Anyway, back on topic....

[dcc]

At my school study is frowned upon by the general populace and anyone who does study gets stomped.

[Mao]

At my school study is frowned upon by the general populace and anyone who does study gets stomped.

i like the thought of dcc-meatpie....

I've lost friends coz of study, stupid attention seeking emos, "dont you care about how we are? you'd rather us dead..."

moral of the day: if ur not one of them, dont try to become one of them, simple

[Eriny]

At my school study is frowned upon by the general populace and anyone who does study gets stomped.

That sounds similar to what my school was like, although by the end of the year people tended to respect the studyers a little more. If you were going to study, you wouldn't draw attention to yourself.

But yeah, I remember spares being full of music (usually crap music) and playing 'pocket tanks' on the computers. It was impossible sometimes! But sometimes it was the other way around, like, if you were talking normally to your friend some random would come up to you and tell you to shut up. I think that's just as rude, lol. Especially when in some of my classes the people telling you to be quiet were always quite noisy themselves.

[dcc]

At my school study is frowned upon by the general populace and anyone who does study gets stomped.

That sounds similar to what my school was like, although by the end of the year people tended to respect the studyers a little more. If you were going to study, you wouldn't draw attention to yourself.

But yeah, I remember spares being full of music (usually crap music) and playing 'pocket tanks' on the computers. It was impossible sometimes! But sometimes it was the other way around, like, if you were talking normally to your friend some random would come up to you and tell you to shut up. I think that's just as rude, lol. Especially when in some of my classes the people telling you to be quiet were always quite noisy themselves.

Its like last year, in one of my classes, we had an exam (a VCAA once) in about a week.  And there were people sitting on the computer playing 'Castle Defence' or something stupid like that.  Me and My mate are just like 'Why?' (the mate ended up getting 50 to my 44 the bastard ).

To study what I usually have to do is go near a staffroom because then the teachers respect what your doing and occasionally help you

[costargh]

My school is kind of different. The general idea is that people can be supposedly "cool" yet also be studious. People don't care if you work but theirs still the problem of people who don't care about school just mucking around the whole time.

My year level is actually pretty harmonised.

[Odette]

Well i didn't really lose many friends during school... lol it was after i finished that i lost a few of them.
Anyways at my school anyone who was smart or studied was either used or abused ...
So yeah I dunno I guess it depends on the type of relationship you had with your school friends

[iamdan08]

For me, i'm not really loosing friends, its more that we are going different paths. One of my mates decided he wanted to do  a trade and so left school to pursue it. I dont see/talk to him as much but im still mates with him.

[sheepz]

When I was doing year 12, I had a friend who kept being really condescending everytime I got a SAC mark back, saying things like "you just got lucky" or "I'm still better than you" and stuff. At first I thought it was a joke so I kind of just laughed if off but it was getting more and more annoying and insulting (or I was getting more sensitive due to tiredness...). So I confronted him, accused him of being jealous and we've only spoken a few times since.

That would have been soo annoying! I don't think I've lost much friends because of vce... but that's probably cause I mix with the studious people and study lol. Like costargh's school, my year level is pretty good with each other and no one really teases people for studying... they go to the studying people for help instead =)

[squance]

Anyways at my school anyone who was smart or studied was either used or abused ...

Yep that happened to me...It was sooooooo annoying....

[Collin Li]

I believe this behaviour only happens in schools that are not accustomed to the culture of competition, where some people dabble themselves too much in envy, rather than in awe and aspiration to beat their competitor by moving up (rather than dragging the other guy down).

It does not happen in Melbourne High. It didn't happen in Brunswick which had an accelerated class.

[julzy]

i found it a little hard throughout the year with some friends. in my group of girlfriends i was the ONLY one who actually wanted to do well. I would still go out with them lots in the first half of the year, but in the second half i would often prefer to have quiet nights, so i would be in a good state to study the following day. they continued going out throughout this period (including swotvac!!) so i began to feel a bit out of the loop. i would also get the sly remarks about my studying. its definitely difficult if your friends arent motivated whatsoever and you are dedicated. turns out the majority of them havent gotten a uni offer due to bad enters:) hehehehe

[/0]

The people who don't care for doing well usually just avoid the people who want to do well, or in rarer cases will leech on to them for help. There are only a few people who insult others for being smart, thankfully. There are many different 'groups' comprised of people who want to do well, so I guess people within those groups are friends with the rest of them.

[brendan]

Given that the academically able are treated quite poorly by their non-academic peers, it seems like another slap in the face for such able students for the Victorian Government to actually try to hold back students from leaving their less academically inclined peers to go off to selective schools like MHS and MacRob through the use of the "3% rule" with the justification that:

"French scholars sometimes describe talented students in mixed settings as "pilots". They contribute to the academic climate in classrooms, contributing to discussions and being role models. Other children learn from them. If you remove these students, it can have a marked effect on learning for the remaining students. If selective schools drain other schools of their pilots then the children who remain may suffer from the absence of more highly able peers, and under-achieve relative to their potential." http://www.theage.com.au/news/vic-election-06-opinion/hothouse-sours/2006/11/20/1163871334588.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap2

The underlying argument behind such policy is that those who are more academically able should carry the burden of lifting the academic performance of their less able peers – even if it means sacrificing opportunities to fulfil their own potential. I find this a highly offensive expectation, especially when many of these able students report they have been marginalised in their previous schools because of their ability.