I am a shame to myself. rip me. I didn't complete all the work I wanted to do, I think I realised why...
It's 10:45 pm and I've decided just to quit it for the day. I'm trying to curfew at 11 pm, sleep I guess is important to me. Just as we need to eat as a necessity to feel energised, we need to sleep to feel energised. If I'm not going to sleep enough, then I might as well not eat enough... so just like about the poem I wrote before, you need what you started with in order to feel in control of your life.
Trust me, getting a good amount of sleep is definitely better in the long run (sleep > study). Not many people are really productive after a certain time, so you probably would be better having a clear head rather than coming to school the next day deprived of sleep. (I've been there and done that like many of us here
). You also function better and understand things better when you have had a good night's rest.
Today, after school, I went to the library, and just sat there doing nothing apart from flicking a few pages of the textbook and listening to some music. I spent an hour there. I didn't feel like studying, I don't know why, I felt as if I might have made my friends awkward or something... but it's all good, because I talked to him online again and he's responded normally. But from this highlights when I get shame or sad, I just shut off for usually the rest of the day remaining, and my expression is hard to change, I look 'depressed' according to my friends back in year 9 (whatever that means...). I don't know how to change that, but if I were to be true to myself, when I'm sad, I'm simply as it is. Ideally, I wouldn't want that sadness visible on the outside to spoil my whole day,(gotta be happy around people) but it just does affect me in this case.
A good tip, don't study when you don't feel like studying. I know it sounds pretty obvious, but there is no point wasting your precious time when you are not in the mood to do something (it just wastes more time overall). It's like painting an art piece, don't paint when you have no inspiration, good stuff only comes from when you are in 'the zone'. Don't force yourself to do something that you feel like not doing it (it can be hard sometimes, but just take the time to step back and look at everything from a big glance). Don't worry, you are not the only one that 'shuts off' during a random day. Sometimes it just takes a bit of self-care, other times it's just taking a breather.
So then, my bus took 1 hour going home. Because I left late. So, I probably won't stay back anymore, I'll get too hungry and the quietness doesn't allow me to talk comfortably when I'm studying (I talk to myself when I study).
And so, I studied some more Viet, and for the reading, I finally ditched the dictionary and got things faster by just asking my mother. Actually awesome. Took 20 minutes rather than an hour lazying around on viet translate.
I did 2 math questions on discriminant that took an hour and I'm pretty disappointed at how long it took. Maybe I just wasn't focusing enough due to the sleep deprivation. I think so. And also, add on music to further distract me... not a good combination.
Make sure that where ever you go, that you feel comfortable in the environment! I personally study at the State Library and either go to the dome or open area where I feel comfortable talking out loud (also highly recommend going with someone who isn't from your school as it helps share different ideas). If you want good places to study in the CBD, message me and I'll send you a list of places where you can eat, talk loudly and study at the same time.
For maths, try to take the time to fully understand what you are learning. It might take a lot of time to understand, but don't rush learning (try different methods of expressing the content. e.g. visual diagrams, listening etc). Sleep is definitely something you really need a good amount of! (It helps overall)
I hope that you are going alright and it sounds like you have made progress. Any progress at all is better than nothing so don't give up! You are doing great already and it is only the start of the new year so don't exhaust yourself too much.
(By the way, I'm loving these poems!)