Another Read and rate adventure for you!

[yejiawen]

I'm definitely not strong in analysis and so forth, so please tell me where I can improve and what standard I'm at! I really want to get an 7-8/10 for the exam. Much appreciated!

Article:
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion/safety-first-priority-for-melbourne/story-e6frfhqf-1225934051286

Analysis – Safety first priority for Melbourne

The long drawn issue of alcohol-related violence on Melbourne’s street has sparked a fiery debate amongst the media whereas the Government has voiced concerned about alcohol-related violence. However, Melbourne citizens are demanding action to be taken to ensure their safety and so that they can embrace Melbourne’s streets safely.  One commentator, Steve Price, writes an opinion piece published in the Herald Sun (October 5, 2010), expressing the insecurities and dangers Melbourne’s streets possesses. Through the use of a disappointed and distressed tone, Price exhorts readers to consider the importance of increasing “police numbers on the streets to make people safer” as this would be wholly beneficial to the wider community.

The title, whilst clearly expressing his contention, effectively draws upon the fact that “safety” is an important factor for Melbourne as it is the lives of citizens that are at risk. This is calculated to leave readers questioning the lack of priority’ that the Government reserves for them, evoking outrage and disappointment. On the other hand, starting off with an anecdote of Price’s experience that involved him being ‘afraid’ of walking through Melbourne streets, he immediately appeals to the readers’ desire to be safe by emphasizing that ‘every street corner’ was occupied with ‘lunatics.’ This is calculated to prick the reader’s conscience into realizing that alcohol-related incidents are a frightening matter that should be taken into serious consideration. Furthermore, as a father figure demonstrating his ‘fear’ for his ’13-year-old,’ this is designed to instill trust into readers, especially those who are parents. This may readily arouses concern in readers’ minds and invites readers to take into the considerations the level of danger they may subject their children to if no action is taken. Additionally, the repetitive use of “I was scared” and “what would I have done?” heightens the notion that the Government’s failure to place police officers around Melbourne streets will leave every ‘law-abiding locals and tourists alike’ vulnerable to being approached by ‘drunken pigs.’ As readers may readily fall into one of these categories, it is calculated to leave readers with a sense of revulsion that will cajole readers to rally against the Government for more safety measures to be put front.

Throughout the piece’s entity, Price continues to employ a measured rational tone, however this leads to him voicing his anger at the ‘unacceptable’ level of ‘drunken’ and disruptive individuals. Accordingly, Price intends to engender fear and a deep sense of concern in the readers.  Price attempts to evoke a sense of fear and insecurity, as not only will they be exposed to alcohol violence, there will be ‘no chance’ of getting a taxi to flee from disaster. Readers are apt to recoil in horror in walking Melbourne streets, further leaving them little room to distant themselves from the situation if they wish to stay safe from lurking dangers. Moreover, Price establishes his audience in an inclusive way with expressions such as ‘we’ and ‘locals’. This sense of collectivism is intended to tap into a seemingly nationally shared interest and desire to be safe. However, this form of inclusion, which could almost be characterized as embittered, later extends to questioning the state’s state of security level with ‘Are we so broke as a state that we can’t invest in security in the city on what must surely be one of the busiest nights of the year?” and “Are police budgets so stretched that we can’t roster roaming patrols to at least give the impression that Melbourne is a safe place?” This is designed to stoke the reader’s anger that not only are our rate of alcohol-related incidents dangerous, but embarrassing to our wider community.

Offering support for his argument is another anecdote of him attending the “Barack Obama inauguration” in which he witnessed ‘not one but 10 New York police patrol cars and double that number of officers.’ By comparing the level of security in America and Melbourne, Price intends to manipulate readers into believing that not only is lack of security on our streets an alien threat, but ‘embarrassing’ for the country, appealing to the reader’s patriotism. This is aimed to prompt readers to push more strongly for greater security measures in order for Melbourne to remain at the forefront of community safety.  Additionally, Price further attempts to inspire an antagonistic attitude towards the opposite party such as ‘Lord Mayor Robert Doyle” and “Premier John Brumby” as he states that all they’ve is ‘voiced concern’ and are not ‘actually doing something about [alcohol-related incidents].’ Price encourages readers to rally against the Government, as the current security system is ‘not acceptable.’ By stating that benefits in properly monitored alcohol, the readers are to feel as though that there is no reason for the Government to not take action to make ‘safety first priority for Melbourne.’ In the same vein, stating that possible solutions do exists prompts disgust in readers that no action has been taken by the Government to ensure their safety.

Price concludes his piece strongly by reminding readers that Melbourne might be ‘the most livable city in Australia,’ yet it is vulnerable in becoming the ‘most frightening.’ This passionate tone is designed to elicit an emotional response from the audience, perhaps that of indignation, and is therefore an attempt to convince readers to adopt his view that they must come together and protest against the Government for their own safety. Through one such article, it can be noted that these responses and the authority in which they are retaliating against, this issue is certain further arise debate due to its impact on the wider Melbourne community.