Feedback/improvements on this piece of writing (Encountering Conflict)

[leona0123]

For holiday homework, we were given the following task.

"You are to develop a considered piece of extended writing in which you demonstrate your ideas and reflections about the set context Encountering Conflict and what it might mean, with emphasis on the term 'encountering'. Recommended length: 500-800 words"

I have attached my completed piece and I am after some advice on how I could improve it. Thank you

[LOVEPHYSICS]

I have had a quick browse on it, and it seems as if you have a solid grasp on the English Language. For VCE context, try not to include stuff from Today Tonight and Current Afair, they are incredibly biased as their programs are normally based around human-interest. I would recommend looking up the 5 types prompts of EC, and then intersperse some of the more complex ideas raised from the many prompts into the essay since your school is essentially asking you to discuss EC in a very broad sense.

http://bhs-encounteringconflict.blogspot.com/2009/05/5-types-of-prompts.html

Good Luck