Has anyone had this kind of upbringing?

[werdna]

The words of wisdom from the Dux of State.

[schmalex]

My parents will pretty much let me do whatever I want (within reason). I went out and got drunk every second weekend during year 11 and 12 and I did fine, and I'm on track to achieve all the goals I want to achieve. I think that having relaxed parents has helped me to make my own decisions and realise what I really want in life. It makes me sad to see people whose parents push them in a certain direction when they could obviously be really successful if they were able to make their own choices.

For example I have a friend whose parents pushed her to study science subjects. She used to read my economics and national politics notes and textbooks for fun, and I'm sure she could have really done well in those subjects, but instead she had to do subjects she didn't enjoy, and she probably didn't reach her full potential. She also has really low self-esteem because of the way that her parents treat her, and thinks tha her self-worth is determined by marks at school.

[werdna]

I know a fair amount of people at my school who have been prone to this kind of upbringing. In the majority of cases, they haven't reached the level of VCE success that has been expected of them from parents. Whilst people would initially think that having relaxed parents would equate to rebellious children, strict and rigid parenting can result in rebellion too..

[fuzzylogic]

I know a fair amount of people at my school who have been prone to this kind of upbringing. In the majority of cases, they haven't reached the level of VCE success that has been expected of them from parents. Whilst people would initially think that having relaxed parents would equate to rebellious children, strict and rigid parenting can result in rebellion too..

Couldn't have said it better myself~

[Ghost!]

I know a fair amount of people at my school who have been prone to this kind of upbringing. In the majority of cases, they haven't reached the level of VCE success that has been expected of them from parents. Whilst people would initially think that having relaxed parents would equate to rebellious children, strict and rigid parenting can result in rebellion too..

I think it's the other way around, relaxed parents relaxed children.

[pi]

^^^ Tell that to the rich, non-caring parents of (certain) idiots from Xavier each year... That seems pretty rebellious to me, what they do on muck-up-days

[werdna]

I know a fair amount of people at my school who have been prone to this kind of upbringing. In the majority of cases, they haven't reached the level of VCE success that has been expected of them from parents. Whilst people would initially think that having relaxed parents would equate to rebellious children, strict and rigid parenting can result in rebellion too..

I think it's the other way around, relaxed parents relaxed children.

Not necessarily.. relaxed parents would in most cases, be the equivalent of careless parents.. which would in turn produce rebellious children.

[Cianyx]

Children often model their behaviour after parents. Parents who appear to be hardworking will produce the same type of children. Useless parents will breed useless children. Child psychiatry 101

[pi]

Children often model their behaviour after parents. Parents who appear to be hardworking will produce the same type of children. Useless parents will breed useless children. Child psychiatry 101

Agree with the gist of it but i think, bringing the Xavier example again, that if parents are hardworking and don't spend time with their children, their children will be 'useless'. I think the amount of time parents spend with their children (face-to-face) also has an impact as it shows that parents are more caring and loving.

[Ghost!]

^^^ Tell that to the rich, non-caring parents of (certain) idiots from Xavier each year... That seems pretty rebellious to me, what they do on muck-up-days

I know a fair amount of people at my school who have been prone to this kind of upbringing. In the majority of cases, they haven't reached the level of VCE success that has been expected of them from parents. Whilst people would initially think that having relaxed parents would equate to rebellious children, strict and rigid parenting can result in rebellion too..

I think it's the other way around, relaxed parents relaxed children.

Not necessarily.. relaxed parents would in most cases, be the equivalent of careless parents.. which would in turn produce rebellious children.

I'm guessing we have different ideas of relaxed parents.

You seem to think relaxed means deadbeat, where as my idea of relaxed is letting your child do things other than study and play piano, making reference to the OP.

[werdna]

I don't think that should be the epitomy of a 'relaxed' parent.. a parent who lets their child do extra-curricular activities is by no means 'relaxed' - they are more so 'normal' in their parenting approach. This is because no parenting style should ever revolve around study, study and more study. It takes a normal parent to let their child play tennis, or the piano, not a 'relaxed' parent. But then again, the level of normality in which parents raise their children is also heavily variable.

[Ghost!]

I'm guessing we have different ideas of relaxed parents.

[QuantumJG]

I probably have said this before, but it's not only Asian parents who push their children. I knew a Russian and a Ukrainian and their parents were really strict. For one my Russian friend who's mum is a mathematician told her son that he didn't have the competence to become a mathematician, whilst my Ukrainian friend had a full on anxiety attack in an universuty physics exam because his parents are both physicists and they constantly put pressure on him.

For some reason western culture doesn't enforce strict parenting with regards to academic achievement probably through our PC culture. More importantly I feel that our society doesn't emphasize how important it is to integrate science, arts, etc into our culture.

[iffets12345]

Dude the Russians/Germans are BEASTS! Most Eurasians are.... I have a serb friend who is like a tennis pro, skips SACS to play comps but the teachers forgive him, would have aced VCE if he could be that little bit more bothered. Still got 98.9 (Y)

I hate how everyone says Asians are pro. I think Asians reach a high standard of whatever they do through ardent practice, but honestly, the Russians/Germans/French are I believe the most naturally talented throughout history etc. Only the Japanese come close to be honest. Not being racist, this is just be looking at Nobel Prizes, historical mathematicians and writers etc.

[QuantumJG]

Dude the Russians/Germans are BEASTS! Most Eurasians are.... I have a serb friend who is like a tennis pro, skips SACS to play comps but the teachers forgive him, would have aced VCE if he could be that little bit more bothered. Still got 98.9 (Y)

I hate how everyone says Asians are pro. I think Asians reach a high standard of whatever they do through ardent practice, but honestly, the Russians/Germans/French are I believe the most naturally talented throughout history etc. Only the Japanese come close to be honest. Not being racist, this is just be looking at Nobel Prizes, historical mathematicians and writers etc.

Lol!

When I started ice skating (only for fun), I knew a pro skating Russian kid who was only 4. Not only that, but a lot of the Maths/Physics students I know have some form of European heritage.

I think the reason why people think it's innate that Asians are gifted and are pushed, is that they make up the primary number of migrants to Australia (don't quote me, I have no source). Australia doesn't really accommodate culturally for most Europeans (especially eastern Europeans), especially in terms of sport, food (I haven't seen one Hungarian restaurant in Australia WTF?), the main stuff.