It froze my web browser at 5:29 and I couldn't drag the bar down the bottom to get back to that part, do they have transcript anywhere? that is much easier to understand as well

catalyst always does transcripts, come on rest of abc.
I personally am not very trusting of the 'professionals', given that in year 9 I went to seek help by myself and the school counsellor who I saw for maybe half the year before simply not rocking up any more, plus the subsequential GP and 2-3 (think it was 2) specialists I was taken to didn't do a thing.
Only a few years later do I understand why.
The only piece of advice I have is that you are not alone, even if it seems that way. there are people out there who share your experiences, even if you haven't met them yet. always.
Btw don't complain about how selfish etc suicide is. If you completely believed that no one cared about you and that you were simply an inconvenience/burden to their lives, would it be selfish then? Coupled onto the belief as well that no one would notice you were gone for a while.
Because I used to believe exactly that.