Favourite Quotes From Teachers?

[Over9000]

Im talking with my friends in spesh class
Banks "what, are u bragging about ur recent test results", after I got 50% in the test.

We had 2 sacs on in one day, and told our spesh teacher
Banks "I guess you will have to make a SACrifice".

We had to integrate a surd
Banks "thats abSURD"

I was doing excersize 2B, and the rest of the class were up to 2D, I asked banks a question in 2B
Banks "you appear 2B behind"

Some kids struggled in a test
Banks "the problem with you guys is you refer to bob too much"
Bob is back of book

My spesh teacher was struggling with a long maths problem
Banks "If you find that your taking long to get the answer, and you dont think your going the right way stop, otherwise you will become like jack russel, jack russel got stuck in a hole trying to catch a rabbit"

Note spesh teacher = banks

My english teacher was asking for my essay

Teacher "So Adrian, got that essay for me"
Me "ahh, yeh its on my usb stick"
Teacher "No, no usb stick, I dont wanna get a virus on my laptop"
Me "can I send it to you as an email"
Teacher "No, it may have a virus, just hand in the hard copy"
Me "ahh, no"

Quotes from my friends teacher

Friend "Sir I need to take a shit"
Teacher "Please do"

[Ahmad]

"Ahmad.
*brief pause*
In life you need 2 things: to be smart and to have good health. If you have both of these things everything else will automatically come to you."

[pHysiX]

My physics teacher:

"How can"

[/0]

Banks: "You can do it this way... or you can divide the numerator by your phone number and multiply by your postcode"

[TrueTears]

Banks: "You can do it this way... or you can divide the numerator by your phone number and multiply by your postcode"

ROFLMAO

[Over9000]

Lol, banks is full of quotes

[ice_blockie]

Here's something from my friend's chemistry teacher's appreciation page on fb:

"Every night before you put on your slippers, remember electrons can't swim because they don't have flippers"

"These marks are money for jam"

"This is a single ferrous atom (Fe); when you put them in a circle you get a ferrous wheel!"

"Water is a seriously kinky little beast - it likes it both ways."

"So you cuddle up to an oil refinery..." (to get sulphur to make sulphuric acid)

"Equilibrium law is cool dude stuff"

"Grab that mark and stuff it in your tuckerbag"

"If you were a terrorist this would be a really fun target" (fractional distillation)

"You bet your sweet bippy"

"LCP is the naughty boy principle"

"Suck rocks Aristotle, you were wrong!"

"Don't be a boron"

"Get some H2O2 in a bottle - they'll eye each other off and have some fun"

"If you get this wrong, I will splash blood! - it's in your best interests"

"I'm pouring out my heart here trying to fill your little heads with knowledge"

"Now when I start adding excess of this little beastie..."

"There are some big mommas that don't vaporise"

"Electrons look like they're playing ring-a-ring-a-rosies around the nucleus"

"If we were being REALLY orgasmic we could put more steps in this organic reaction pathway"

"NaHCO3 - it's pretty harmless but why is it so cute?"

"I used to go out and fertilise my lemon tree"

"That's the guts of digestion (pun intended)"

"A lot of this has to be mental - I know you think I'M mental"

"This ruthless bastard of a power cell keeps sucking up electrons - it's a real animal!"

"Last chance to get 'working like a Trojan, completely up to date with all assignments' on your report"

"We're talking poor old Cho Chang - give Cho the flick like Harry"

"If it moves, it's biology. If it smells, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics"

"Are you catching these pearls as they fall from my lips?"

"Halogens are a lovely family of hobbits - fluoro, bromo..."

"Do not pick a fight with fluorine! It's a strong oxidant"

"It's not just weak, it's PATHETICALLY weak"

"When you get drunk your brain is actually smarter than you are. It chooses to throw up or pass out"

"This hydrogen isn't a happy possum. It says 'keep em both you ratfink!'"

"Add an excess and give the test tube a spanking"

"Oxygen is left holding the baby"

"It's a haemoglobin choo-choo train!"

"Hydrogen bonding is sexy (examiners love it)"

[Over9000]

LOLOLOL, that guy must be wicked

[monokekie]

^^lolll at yours
here's a teacher-student convo, doesn't really fit your topic tho:

(ESL class)

tcher: i ll brb (walked outta the room photocopying stuff)
students: *chitchat-chitchat(non-school-related)-chitchitchat*
tcher: (comes back) what are you guys talking about?
a student: (a typically cute overseas girl) Ms, we are just disgusting!
tcher: ....

[kurrymuncher]

teacher: take your pants off!!!




jks jks

[monokekie]

oh, another one
a guy took his shirt off after a school cwalk thingy coz he was too warm,(not necessarily naked he only bares his arms completely)
my maths teacher said "hey why are you showing off your muscles in my maths class?" we saw his face went pink and puts his shirt back on

[qshyrn]

 maths teacher and guy who always mucks around+never does any work:
guy says to his friend: i want to do specialist maths and get my study score scaled up, even though i do shit
teacher says in a joking manner: don't bother even thinking about doing that, all you're good at is wanking. you should be a professional wanker.  ... (the whole class laughsS)

this wasn't so surprising, the maths teacher always said stuff like that.....

[Toothpaste]

Similar: http://vcenotes.com/forum/index.php/topic,8086.0.html

[xXNovaxX]

ooh, woops!! Can a  moderator maybe move this thread, to the above link as posted by toothpaste. sorry, i didn't know!

[ninwa]

done! i think ... haven't merged topics before