Structuring essay tips

[sampleus]

Does anyone have to stick to using a strict formulas when writing International Studies essays for their teachers. My teacher prefers the TEEL method. 

If not what are other methods do you use?

[chrisjb]

what up interpol!

TEEL is good and dandy in my opinion.

Not for the extended responses, don't bother with an essay structure there.

But for power in the asia pacific region, start with a strong introduction, mine usually go for 3/4 of a page, then about 6 body paragraphs then an equally strong conclusion (but shorter... 1/2 a page). IMHO the most important part is the intro and conclusion... the assessors just skip over the rest and look for key words/numbers and percentage signs and probably read the topic sentences.

[Yi]

So if you shouldn't use TEEL for extended response, what would you use?

[ShortBlackChick]

If you werent using any structure for extended responses I'd just explain 3 or 4 points

[Peter123742]

Question 1
Military resources alone will not enable a nation state to achieve all of its goals in its relationships with other nation states.
Discuss with reference to one or more international relationship or situation within the Asia-Pacific region.

China has used an array of power instruments within its relationship with Taiwan, there have however, been rare occurrences when military power has been used in isolation and has stymied China’s ability to achieve all her national interests simultaneously.  These national interests can broadly be defined as Hu Jintao’s ‘three harmonies’; harmony within China, harmony with and peace with the world and unification with Taiwan.  As such, military power, as a ‘one dimensional’ form of power, only serves to preserve and promote superficial short term territorial integrity.
In 1996, China’s use of military power demonstrated the flaws of military power as a means of securing her national interests.  China firing missiles into the Taiwanese strait, in an attempt to influence the Taiwanese electorate into voting for the Pan-Blue KMT party, in this instance, military power was executed in isolation and successfully served China’s short term territorial needs as the KMT party was elected. This being said, it created a long term rift between Taiwan and China, which contributed to the pro independence party being elected in the 2000 elections, despite China’s use of ‘sabre rattling’.  Moreover, this upset diplomatic ties with the US, the US sending their seventh fleet to protect Taiwan as per their international obligations. The BBC commenting that ‘a war in the Taiwanese strait would destroy China’s international standing overnight’ evidently detrimental to the achievement of improved international standing, hence demonstrating the inability of military power to secure both China’s international standings and ‘One China’ policies.
In more recent times, China has demonstrated that military resources can successfully be implemented, so long as they are used in conjunction with a series of forms of power. China has begun, what some commentators call ‘flexing its muscles’.  This is a less direct form of military power, which involves China combining its ‘Propaganda’ with military expenditure, highlighting its increased spending on military (which now sits at 4.3% of GDP, up 63B). Using its monopoly on media, rating 162 out of 168 on the freedom of media index to exemplify its purchase of a new air craft carrier, its newspapers highlighting the strategic advantage of such weaponry, enabling China to attack Taiwan from a multitude of locations. This combined with the widely published RAND think tank report stated that China could occupy Taiwan before US intervention has entrenched fear in the Taiwanese, minimising the likelihood of secession. It has also demonstrated to the world that China’s military capabilities put it on the cusp of superpower status evidently enhancing its international clout, without threatening its international standings.  Evidently, the use of military power in conjunction with propaganda tools has proved successful, demonstrating that, whilst military resources alone will not enable a state to secure her interests when successfully utilised in conjunction with other tools it increases its effectiveness.


China has begun using economic instruments in order to further its longer term objectives, this is because, military power, serves mainly as a tool designed to serve short term ends. China has successfully created an inextricably interlinked trading relationship with Taiwan, which has made Taiwan so dependent on China that, the likelihood of secession has diminished. In 2010, the Economic Frame Work Agreement came into place, establishing freer trading conditions between Taiwan and China with over tariffs on over 500 goods cut. This increased Taiwanese exports by 17 billion dollars and has meant that over 33% of Taiwanese exports go to China. As such, this has favourably contributed to growth, per capita income in Taiwan increasing 2,000 dollars to 33,000 since 2010. The Taiwanese acknowledge that China has been a driving force behind these increased material living standards, the Taiwanese being internationally acknowledged as ‘One of the Four Asian Tigers’.  This increased growth, has led to a shifting view in the Taiwanese electorate, one that is in favour of strong Taipei-Sino relations. This was demonstrated and the 2008 elections, the KMT (pro unification party) winning the election on a party platform of ‘three no’s’; no independence, no unification, no conflict’. Accordingly, the DPP party has toned down its pro independence rhetoric to accommodate the electorates changing view ‘caving into domestic pressure’ and favouring the ‘status quo’. Evidently, the use of softer forms of power has proved to enhance longer term national interests, economic power contributing to a shift in political culture which has taken many years to take place. It has also facilitated and created more favourable conditionings for Hu Jintao’s ‘harmonious society’ doctrine as well as furthering China’s growth and preserving its international standings.  This highlights, that military power alone cannot secure China’s objectives simultaneously and nor can it promote longer term stability. Hence, China has sought to use other forms of power in order to facilitate the achievement of these key objectives which cannot be secured by military power alone.
China has successfully utilised its ‘aid for oil’ program as a multifaceted tool which has facilitated the achievement of economic development and territorial integrity simultaneously.  China has seen growth rates of 8-10% for the past decade. This has largely been on the back of a strong manufacturing industry, as such, China is reliant on raw materials in order to ‘feed the Chinese dragon’ or it is doomed for failure. The international energy agency predicting that China’s oil consumption will rise by 150% by 2020. As such, China has adapted a ‘two pronged’ approach to dealing with this issue. Firstly, it has funded exploration in African states as well as purchased stakes in oil rigs and other mines and secondly, it has provided aid or ‘soft loans’ to African states in return for oil. China providing Sudan with 20B in soft loans (to 2010) and giving Angola 2 billion dollars to win last minute oil contract from Shell.  As such, China now consumes 60% of Sudan’s oil becoming the continents second largest trading partner.  This has made China a major player in the region, who now has significant influence as the result of its trading instruments; as such it has significant sway over how Africa votes in the United Nations General Assembly (Africa possessing 53 votes). Hence, when Taiwan’s application to the UN in 2007 reached the general assembly it was doomed to fail the UN formally ruling in accordance to China’s ‘One China’ policy.  As such, it has been demonstrated that economic power in this instance has been used as both a tool of diplomacy, furthering China’s economic development objectives and facilitating the states ongoing survival, something that military power alone would be unable to secure without a full scale war. This is not to say that China’s ‘aid for oil’ program is not without its criticism, international bodies, such as the Human Rights Watch blaming China for the Darfur genocide, it being predicted that 80% of their oil revenue goes straight to the Junta.
Overall it can be seen that military power is most effective when used to achieve short term ends that is because, the effects of military power can be seen instantaneously. This being said, military power, is most effective when used in conjunction with other forms of power. Never the less, military power is unable to secure more long term objectives, such as a harmonious society. Which military power only seeks to artificially achieve. As such, China has employed a series of softer forms of power which are designed with the intent of achieving and preserving more long term goals such as economic development, longer term cross trait relations without harming their harmonious society and international standings interests.   

[Peter123742]

^ An essay I whipped up, hope it helps.

[ShortBlackChick]

I noticed you didnt mention Tibet or Uighur people. I can understand why- you explained the situtation with Taiwan in relation to the question, but I'm wondering whether it would be necessary to also mention the other challenges China faces in keeping its autonomy?

[Peter123742]

Is a paragraph I could have used - because questions usually limit you too 'one' relationship I only mentioned Taiwan. PS did you like the essay?

China’s use of military power has been ineffective in enabling China to achieve multiple national interests simultaneously, stymieing China’s ability to achieve their longer term interests. In 2008 China used military power in isolation; it did this to prevent separatist movements in Xinjang and Tibet which it sees as ‘inseparable’ from mainland China. In 2008, the POL used a combination of tear gas and firing to suppress the peaceful riots by Tibetan monks.  This came to be known as the 2008 Lhasa riots and despite China’s attempts to hide the riots from the public’s eye via the use of propaganda (its media measuring 162 on 168 for freedom) it was unable to hide the 320 injuries and 80 deaths. This use of military power proved effective in the short term, as it temporarily and artificially suppressed separatist movements in the region, preserving short term territorial integrity.  It was however, in effective as it prevented China from achieving her other national interests, harming international standing, influential figures (Steven Spielberg), international media, and head of states all condemning the riots (Kevin Rudd stating these riots were a blatant abuse of human rights).  Moreover, these riots caused greater social unrest and have fuelled longer term resistance demonstrating that a one dimensional form of power like military power is ineffective when used solely by itself.  This premise was reaffirmed in 2009 with the Xinjang riots, suggesting that the use of military power is unable to suppress the hearts and souls of Tibetans and Uyghur’s leading to increased social unrest and terrorism in Xinjang province in particular, with a recent terrorist attack in Kabush killing 39 demonstrating that military power undermines Hu Jintao’s harmonious society doctrine.

[ShortBlackChick]

Is a paragraph I could have used - because questions usually limit you too 'one' relationship I only mentioned Taiwan. PS did you like the essay?

Yeah fair enough.
LOL I liked it a lot. I dont know about other people, but if I walked in there tomorrow and wrote that I'd be stoked!

[chrisjb]

PS did you like the essay?

Your essay was good man, you certainly know a lot of facts. But I don't agree with your view that PRC 'flexing their muscles', so to speak, has been as successful at avoiding a degraded international standing.

It has also demonstrated to the world that China’s military capabilities put it on the cusp of superpower status evidently enhancing its international clout, without threatening its international standings.

I think that US offshore balancing and (without wanting to use the term containment) attempts to re-impose a regional influence are significant examples of how PRC sabre rattling has resulted in significant degradation of international standing. So has the view of most ASEAN nations over the heavy handed handling (hey! alliteration!) of the Spratly Islands dispute.

[dbraid]

While on the topic of essays, find below one I did. I quite like Peter's essay as it is well written with heaps of evidence (something which my essay lacks). Anyway happy reading. Comments appreciated if anyone gets a chance...

How has a specific Asia-Pacific state (other than Australia) used its power to achieve its national interest objectives since the end of the Cold War? Discuss the extent to which the use of this power has impacted upon its regional relationships. Your response should include -
 
•   an outline of the national interest objectives of a specific state
•   the forms of power it has used to try to achieve these objectives
•   the impact of the use of power on regional relationships.

China has had both success and limitations in using its power as a means of achieving its national interests. National interests refer to the goals and ambitions of a state, and there are particular interests that China has tried to achieve. To effectively analyse China’s national interests it will be necessary to explore China’s economic growth, its bid to maintain territorial integrity, as well as the need for social harmony within the state itself. More broadly, it is important to note that these interests are not independent and isolated but indeed linked to China’s greatest national interest – gaining a higher standing within the international community. Furthermore through using its power in this way, China’s regional relationships must be evaluated.

China has used both the policy instruments of trade and aid as a means of developing itself into a economic powerhouse. As a result of an embracement of globalisation, which was largely brought about as a result of Deng Xiaoping’s leadership, China has been able to form strong economic relationships as well as greatly improve its GDP as a state. China’s engagement of trade has seen the state develop to such an extent that it now holds the second largest single state economy behind only the United States, with many analysts predicting that China will overtake the United States in the coming decades if it can sustain such growth. This demonstrates China’s ability to use its power to achieve its national interests, as the state has made use of its wealth of natural resources – people and trade – to successfully improve its economic situation.  However, in spite of such rapid growth China has still faced limitations economically, and this can seen through China’s aid investments in both regional and non-regional locations. China has taken great interest in many African states, as it is keen to collect a share of the untapped wealth of resources that is currently located on the underdeveloped continent. Specifically, China’s involvement in Angola has involved the donation of millions of dollars to the state, and has been given to the state under the guise of aid. In return however, China has claimed a stake in Angola’s billion dollar oil industry, thus raising questions as to whether China’s ‘aid exchange’ is ethical. More regionally, China’s efforts to donate to its stateless regions such as Tibet and Taiwan could perhaps be considered as nothing more than ‘chequebook diplomacy’, as China is providing financial support to quash separatist claims in these regions. Regardless of whether China’s economic methods are moral or not, the state has proven itself as an economic power, and hence is more likely to play a larger role in the international community with this form of power.

Further relevant to China’s claims of superiority is the need for China to hold sovereignty over its territory. As it stands currently, there are three legitimate regions within China trying to gain recognition as states – Taiwan, Tibet and the Uyghur region of Xianjiang – with China keen to silence these attempts. Despite China’s best efforts to create a homogenous society, approximately 8% of all Chinese people are not of the dominant Han Chinese ethnic group, thus prompting the need for groups within the minority to lodge separatist claims. China’s Communist Party wants to create a ‘harmonious society’ for China by 2020 and these attempts of separatism seek to limit China’s ability to control the entirety of itself as a state. In relation to China’s key national interest of becoming a superpower, if one of these regions were to successfully gain independence from China it may set a precedence for other states to follow. Therefore, China would lose key forms of resources as well as population, thus limiting its threat to other powers such as the US. In order to counteract these claims China has used its cultural power to spread the message of the ‘One China’ policy – which suggests that China must be as one collective group in order to be fully successful as a state. On a diplomatic level this means that for states to engage with China, they must recognise that regions such as the Republic of China are solely part of China itself, and not a separate state. Indeed this message is often delivered to the Chinese people via propaganda, thus setting the agenda to the Chinese people of what they should think – which implies the dictatorial nature of the CCP.  China’s ability to prevent these separatist claims hints at its domestic power, however tensions still remain strong in these regions, thus implying a limitation of China’s power as a state, and hence its ability of achieving global superiority.

The strict nature of the Chinese Communist Party has led to the social harmony of China becoming somewhat disrupted. Indeed the Chinese government realise that their days in power may be numbered, thus it was declared at the 17th annual Chinese Party Congress that China seeks to build a ‘harmonious society’ by 2020. Indeed many of China’s social problems are brought about by the government’s own actions and this can be seen to a particular extent with China’s inadequate social security and welfare system. Indeed many figures suggest that China spends less than one percent of its GDP on health services, meaning that many Chinese citizens are unable to gain access to this vital service. Similarly China’s land seizure in the lead up to the 2008 Olympics drew criticism from the people of China, largely due to the fact that approximately 1.5 million civilians were forced out of their homes.  Thus these events among others have led to a significant rise in protests from the Chinese people – rising from 10,000 in the 1990s to 74,000 in 2004. Indeed China has been quick to censor these incidents through the use, or more so the threatened use, of force via its large military units. This has drawn criticism from the international community as many view it as a violation on free speech. More notably the arrest of Ai Weiwei, a Chinese artist critical of the CCP’s undemocratic nature, earlier this year, suggested the determination of the Chinese government to censor its protestors. Indeed while China has used its power to minimise such incidents, the reality for the CCP is the notion that protesting is occurring at such a frequent rate, which shows a limitation in China’s ability to gain legitimacy from its people. More broadly China’s inability to contain its people may pose a challenge to China’s bid of becoming a superpower, as international confidence and support of China may drop considerably due to the lack of social harmony within the state.

China has used its power effectively as a way of achieving its national interests. Indeed China’s economic power has seen the state develop as an international economic leader, while the use of propaganda as well as domestic pressure has led to China maintain control of its territory. Socially China has been limited, however its militarial power has proven to be a short term solution to achieving the national interest of social harmony. In order for China to achieve its key national interest of being a more powerful state, it must consider and control all of its other national interests as well as strive to form strong regional and global relationships.

[chrisjb]

^ I felt like you didn't really address the dotpoint 'the impact of this use of power on regional relationships'. You need to look more at the repercussions of PRC power use rather than just the effectiveness of the power itself for this question, otherwise your not answering all of the questions.

[ShortBlackChick]

^ I felt like you didn't really address the dotpoint 'the impact of this use of power on regional relationships'. You need to look more at the repercussions of PRC power use rather than just the effectiveness of the power itself for this question, otherwise your not answering all of the questions.

Would that mean talking about the affects on China's international standing??? I mean how its actions have changed its reputation and the regard its neighbours hold China in?

[Yi]

OK that second essay was 1,210. Are you really going to be able to write that much content (not to mention evidence!) in that space of time? Cos if so, I am beyond farked.

[dbraid]

^ I felt like you didn't really address the dotpoint 'the impact of this use of power on regional relationships'. You need to look more at the repercussions of PRC power use rather than just the effectiveness of the power itself for this question, otherwise your not answering all of the questions.

Yeah I struggled a little as this is a very meaty question, lots to answer within it. My problem is often going off in weird tangents, so I just need to keep on track with what I am writing. Also I think I need more facts as well throughout this piece to justify some of my points better.