Dux speech jokes

[99.96]

I have to make a speech at my school and was wondering if you guys have any good jokes to chuck in there Should be relevant to VCE or school, not just random jokes haha

[Stick]

Well whenever all of our college leaders have made speeches, they've shared funny moments with their year level. I'd recommend throwing in a few of them.

[luken93]

Yeah also needing ideas, problem is we're talking to the year levels below us, not my peers...

[aes_999]

Remember boys and girls, having a carbon copy of yourself always help your VCE scores (referring to MHS twins).
Lame joke, i know. But that's the only one I could come up in such a short notice.

[Stick]

Yeah also needing ideas, problem is we're talking to the year levels below us, not my peers...

It still works. One leader was talking about how one of his mates managed to pash a random girl while on an excursion to the zoo. I couldn't stop laughing until a teacher told me off.

[transgression]

Just say your scores were a fluke (they laugh) but it secretly was

[luken93]

Yeah also needing ideas, problem is we're talking to the year levels below us, not my peers...

It still works. One leader was talking about how one of his mates managed to pash a random girl while on an excursion to the zoo. I couldn't stop laughing until a teacher told me off.

I turned up late to my chem exam...sunrise and the morning show were just too good to leave! I suppose I'll be using that hahaha

[totaled]

LOL awks if kids from your school go on here and read this, and all the jokes you plan to use in your speech
i hope not though !

[pi]

Grab something about Russell Peters childhood and say it was yours


"somebody gonna get a hurt real bad!"

[aes_999]

Make a parody of Achmed the dead terrorist, substituting him with your teacher / parents / guardian / etc.
If you don't get the scores we expect you to...'we'll kill you!'

Or something like that.

[Sellingman]

To be fair, when delivering a speech, you need to crack a joke whereby if it doesn't go to plan, people will think it's just part of the speech, not an attempt at a joke.

I'd say:

But there isn't just an academic side to Year 12. Never again will it be socially acceptable to.. ( walk around stoked because you've got a zooper dooper?)

[aes_999]

^Don't think the example will happen spontaneously. Unless of course, one tries to overstimulate himself (or herself, for that matter).

[nubs]

opening line:

'I won't lie to you guys, I longed for this more than a hyperbola longs for the sweet touch of its asymptote'

[Panicmode]

So guys, I hear you have VCE coming up. Sucks to be you . No but seriously...


That's not a bad opening line.

[99.96]

Thanks for the input guys I will defs use of this