‘Reality is what we need to believe’
The term, ‘reality’, simply put is a term that refers to the creations of our conscious and subconscious minds which are based on our perceptions and experiences in life. Due to the subjective nature of reality, individuals are able to form their own compilation of perceptions which make up their version of reality. (No, no, no! Never begin your essay with a generic opener defining the word reality, ever. This is the last thing the examiner wants to see, he's read it a million times before, and he doesn't need to be told the definition of reality once again. If you don't believe me read the examiner's report. The low-scoring or mid-range responses do these generic introductions, the high scoring responses get to the heart of the issue from the outset!) While there is a degree of freedom in the formation of one’s reality, this can lead to a deceptive or illusionary construct created in order to evade the harsh truths of one’s surrounds. Although people may immerse themselves and invest their faith in alternate realities as a possible source of comfort, ongoing falls into the illusionary realm cannot be maintained. Hence, our realities that we try so hard to avoid in an attempt to live in our falsified realities are in the end our everlasting relief. For this reason, it is necessary for individuals to come to terms with a more authentic version of reality and believe in it, since it is the only one thing capable of providing both true happiness and sorrows. (When I first started reading this I thought you had misunderstood the implications of the prompt, but I will let this one slide if you can argue this thesis convincingly!)
The question of what is 'real' or 'what is reality', is one that philosophers have debated for hundreds of years. Is the world only how we perceive it through our sense or out experiences or alternatively, is there a real and factual reality? Some philosophers have argued that we can only indirectly know the effect that reality has on our minds. In this sense, reality is a construction of our minds and a creation of the individual. (Once again this is too generic and boring. You fail to show insight regarding the prompt.) The discussion may (Does it or doesn't it? Make up your mind.) have a religious element as many religions attempt to explain the origin of 'reality' and speak about another reality in the after life. For example, when tribal societies in Papua New Guinea first encountered western civilisations, some began new quasi-religious movements, worshipping the westerners or the goods they had brought. Their reality changed drastically over a very short period of time as they were astounded by the products these unfamiliar entities were bringing along and assumed that they must be of supernatural descendants, thus ascribing a deistic interpretation to what may otherwise be considered a historical norm. Dissimilarly, some Buddhists believe that what we see and perceive as our reality is literally unreal or a kind of dream. This opens the avenue for our minds to accept more than one version of the truth in a vast spectrum of possibilities. We come into realisation that everyone has a different reality with varying levels of authenticity and levels of tangibility, from perceiving reality as what can be physically accounted for, as in science, to a creation of the mind or imagination expressed as artwork. A dichotomy of what reality is can be observed through the art communities’ response to surrealism and artists such as Salvador Dali. Where art used to be considered the artist’s ability to reconstruct reality as it is seen by the naked eye, surrealism soon became accepted as an equally valid interpretation of one’s environment regardless of how abstract its representation may be. (Interesting.) Thus, through reflecting upon reality, one soon becomes aware of the endless possibilities one may encounter in piecing together their view of the world. As displayed in Tennessee Williams’ ‘A Streetcar named Desire’, (Unconvincing way to introduce the text, we have been taught about religion, then art, now we have suddenly jumped to one select play, for no apparent reason. If you were to have some sort of lead in like "The topic has a literary precedent as well, take for example A Streetcar Named Desire, Tennessee Williams' magnum opus") all of the characters share different perceptions of what is real and what constitutes their reality. Blanche DuBois, in particular, goes to great lengths in an ongoing attempt to create a new life and persona for herself out of desperation. However, Blanche DuBois’ attempt at creating a new falsified reality for herself soon becomes unbearable as it continually grows thinner and thinner after being brought into constant conflict with the dominant realities displayed (Wrong word) by other characters in her presence, not dissimilar to that of (Poor expression here, these verbal constructs are not copasetic.) Stanley Kowalski, the representation of the ‘New South’ and the ‘American dream’ (You make the correct observation, but you need to clearly link it back to your thesis by talking about how this reality, as exemplified through the person of Stanley vagrantly contradicts Blanche's anachronistic Old Southern values, and ultimately destroys them.). When Stanley Kowalski’s very much dominant reality (It isn't clear what you mean by this.) is challenged, he instinctively becomes very defensive (I don't think I would describe it as being 'defensive' exactly...) and aims to tear Blanche and her falsified reality which poses a threat to him down. (Does he 'aim' to tear it down, or does this happen merely as a side-effect of his actions?) Individuals have a lack of tolerance towards other realities which do not coincide with their own and this is demonstrated in cogently expressed by T.S Elliot’s quote, ‘human kind cannot bear very much reality’.
Many individuals rely on illusion as a source of consolation to counter-balance the harshness of their realities. As famous German philosopher, Sigmund Freud, once stated that ‘illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead’. (This is a good quotation.) Embracing escapism becomes a form of temporary (Good distinction.) relief from the adversities of their (Inappropriate pronoun.) stark and painful realities and we have all embraced escapism at some point in our lives, some moreso than others. However, this falsified reality has its downsides and is often short lived. Despite it being a possible source of comfort, ongoing falls into the illusionary realm cannot be maintained. The satisfaction gained from a permanent and “real” reality, is not only much better (how is it better?) than the temporary pleasures of an illusion, but is also much more mutually equitable for our mental health and relationships with others. As the famous French writer, Nicholas Chamfort, once said, “pleasure may come from illusion, but true happiness can only come from reality’ (Now I see why you chose to approach this prompt this way, you were prepared for it, and there is nothing wrong with that. Good stuff.). Hence, our realities that we try so hard to avoid are in the end our everlasting relief. (Avoid repetition, especially if it is word for word.) Individuals are often forced succumb to their own illusionary fantasies and endeavouring to avoid the realities imposed upon them by the enlightenment (This is most definitely not the right word.) of their constructed reality of lies, deceptions and evasions. Due to the aging process, Blanche began to lose her charisma and consequently, her ability to be authoritative (Ahem. That is not it at all. Blanche considers Desire to be the antithesis to Death, from which she is constantly trying to escape. Her aging is associated both with a descent towards the inevitable fate which she has all her life tried to avoid acknowledging will find her in the end, and the loss of her sexual desirability.) also diminished. In an attempt to negate her promiscuous past, Blanche attempted to portray herself to those around her in her new surrounds as a typical ‘Southern Belle’, a term which refers to a beautiful, well-respected and intelligent upper-class woman of French descent who has very conservative values. (Blanche has always held these values ever since childhood, she does not adopt them upon moving to New Orleans spontaneously. Her promiscuity stems from her inability to repress her sexual urges which are at odds with these ideals, and as a consequence these lofty ideals fall apart. This is most strongly symbolised in the rape scene where she is forced against her will to succumb to this carnal desire, that which comes from the id, from pure unmitigated animal nature, and from which all the ornamentations associated with old-fashioned concept of the Southern Belle cannot save her, and are but only props. It is clear to me that you know at least some of this, but you leave much implied or unstated.) Many of you will agree that not many of the aforementioned qualities of a ‘southern belle’ can genuinely be found in Blanche, a former prostitute desperately trying to escape her past. Blanche desperately tried to gain a sense of strength by clinging to the optimism and associated with her hope of being desired by and rescued by a “prince charming” after enduring the harshness of her ‘real’ external reality. (It would also be fairy tale happy ending what with the connotations of 'prince charming', which symbolises it's seating in fantasy and illusion, not fact.)
Although individuals all share different views on reality and sometimes opt to believe in falsified realities they have created in a shallow attempt to escape the shortcomings of their ‘real’ realities, these deceptive and distorted realities are not sustainable for extended periods of time and are only worth living until they too become unbearable, often leading to drastic outcomes and conflicts of large-scale. As our conception of truth moves further away from the way the world actually is and correspondence with the facts, it moves nearer and nearer to two subjects, the person trying to uncover the truth and the person trying to find out the truth. (Aren't these the same two people?) As Winston Churchill once said, ‘the truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is’. No matter what happens in life and how we react to what happens to us, no matter how productively or inefficiently, the truth is always there. (This isn't exactly insightful stuff is it? Knowing that truth exists is kind of no brainer, surely.) This situation can be alluded to the relationship between Blanche DuBois and Stanley Kowalski in ‘A Streetcar named Desire’, as Blanche is always trying to cover her past and deceive everyone she has now become acquainted with by portraying herself as something she is very far from while Stanley Kowalski determinedly works towards uncovering the truth about her, finally breaking her down when he discovers the whole truth about her. (This would have worked better if you had perhaps related it to the idea that you can never hide the truth, and that it will always inevitably catch up with you in the end. In this context the quotations use here almost misses the point.)
Although individuals sometimes lead difficult and hurtful lives, conjuring alternate, more pleasant and falsified realities and vesting all of their faith into it should not be advised. (And how many times have you said a phrase somewhat like this throughout the whole essay already? There is only one thing worse than writing a generic phrase, and that is repeating it again at the top of every darned paragraph.) Not only are these realities short-lived and impossible to sustain for an extended period of time, they provide the individual responsible for this alternate reality with false hope that they have solved their problem and escaped the negativity associated with their ‘real’ reality whereas what they are actually doing is making a problem they must face even worse. (Interesting, but you really ought to extrapolate further on this, instead of switching topics wantonly.) Individuals in society all think and operate in different ways which results in their differing realities, which in turn, determines their life. (Duh?) Our perceptions on life and how we respond to what happens to us indisputably has a drastic effect on the path of our lives and although some individuals in society resort to conjuring alternate realities, these alternate realities cause more problems than they fix. We must ask ourselves, what is real? How do you know that you as you know yourself and your life as you know it isn’t just a very detailed falsified reality that has been conjured by you in another life, in a parallel universe? (I know you are trying to sound all philosophical-like, but it just fails here, and sounds really juvenile, kind of like you are pullling at straws. This is not a good way to end your essay.)
Score: Less than you were hoping for. There are moments of clarity, where it is clear you know the text, and you are able to relate it to the prompt, but oftentimes you drift into irrelevance, or make really simplistic observations. Pulled off well this could have been an upper-mid range response. As it is, amateurish mistakes and bullshitting brings this one down to a merely mid-range response.
Firstly, the prompt: This prompt was supposed to be about how individuals only believe in as much as the truth as is necessary for them to function. It is
not talking about the futility of illusion, if anything it is probably suggesting that a little bit of illusion isn't a bad thing! However, that said, your interpretation of the prompt is ok,
if you argue it well enough, and make it clear from the outset what your interpretation of the prompt is.Second of all, your argument is incomplete: "Our realities . . . are in the end our everlasting relief."
Nowhere in your essay do you actually prove this! You are constantly repeating it, but you provide no evidence, simply treating it as a commonly recognised fact, which requires no further explanation. Every time you repeat this idea, it only weakens your argument, because it draws attention to the fact that one of the main points your argument hinges on
is something you've given us no reason to believe is true!!Ok so that's most of the mean stuff out of the way. Now some positive things: Your vocabulary is decent, and you appear to have a decent understanding of the novel and how it relates to the Context, more or less, though I fear that you may be relying overmuch on information from Sparknotes. For example here: "Stanley Kowalski, the representation of the ‘New South’ and the ‘American dream’" You are right, but it reads like you are just regurgitating something you've memorised beforehand. There is no real evidence of you having any understanding of what these things actually mean! How do you demonstrate that you do know? You elaborate further! Explain
why Stanley personifies these ideals, don't just simply state that he does without evidence. You make interesting use of supplementary materials, as a matter of fact this is probably where your essay is strongest, maybe because you are good at memorising facts and quotations? Try and interact with the supplementary materials on a deeper, less superficial level. You inform us that "some Buddhists believe that what we see and perceive as our reality is literally unreal or a kind of dream" but then you don't discuss the implications of this. You just sort of let it hang there, and then immediately move on without a second thought. This is the sort of interesting fact which could be used as the centre for your essay, and which you could use to help you craft a truly insightful response.
Most importantly, I think you should read some high scoring sample responses from the Examiner's Report. It is one thing for me to tell you, you need to be more insightful, but it is another thing to actually go out and read insightful reponses, and see what being insightful truly means. So take these remarks in your steed, and go read some samples,
then write another attempt. Oh yeah, one more thing. Have fun with it! You are taking the essay too seriously, too much like you are writing an essay. The Context is the one task which gives you the freedom of choice to write something you will actually enjoy writing. Use it. If you don't find essay writing fun, do an imaginative piece.
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