Advice/Feedback appreciated - Extended Response

[mseleanor]

Hey all, hopefully you're enjoying the start of AOS2.

I've just finished this practice France AOS1 extended response blind and was wondering if anyone could give me some feedback on it?

'Discuss the significance of the Fall of the Bastille in the development of a revolutionary situation by 4 August 1789.

The Capture of the Bastille on the 14th July is considered by most historians as the ultimate beginning of the revolution. Its occurrence carried great symbolic value, representing the destruction of both despotism, the Bastille described by a Parisian newspaper article of the event as a 'frightful refuge of monstrous despotism and its crimes'; and the authority of King Louis XVI, the event said to have 'supplied the death blow to the absolute monarch' (historian Gwynne Lewis). In addition, it is what Marxist historians dub as the 'urban workers' revolt', the fourth stage in the four-stage revolutionary process. It signified the moment where the crowd 'itself took agency for the first time in the Revolution' (historians Fenwick and Anderson), the crowd so strong it forced the King to surrender attempts at counteracting the significant resistance to his power so perpetrated by the 'patriots of 1789' effectively saving the National Assembly. Not only did the social group within the Third Estate assume the effective power of the revolution, but during the Capture itself occurred a great split between the crowd and the bourgeois deputies. The deputies, 'as frightened of the millions of poor, hungry, and unemployed as they were of the King' (Gwynne Lewis) tried hopelessly to protect their cherished property from the unruly masses, but it became irrefutably evident the leaders, however strong and popular, could not control the 'climax of popular movement' (historian Doyle), a division within the estate that would only strengthen further into the revolution's progression. Moreover, it was the King's complete loss of the control of his subjects and his power that was the greatest significance in the resultant proceedings of the event; the turning against the monarch of the army was described by an aristocrat as 'the revolution itself', seeing his being forced to accept the new forces of revolutionary power, the public's confidence in him as a leader almost non-existent, as Lafayette rose to Command of the National Guard, and Bailly, Mayor of Paris. Such would clear the pathway for the Revolution to further develop.

Thanks for getting this far 

[daniela.darienzo]

Ah, this is kind of like absolutely amazing!
I think you should show Tudes this!
She will absolutely adore you even more..
♥ 50 in Revs my dear! (: