Our connection with others tells us who we are.
Our relationship with other people helps us define our identity. Our background, place of birth, family, public image makes us who we are. The way we interact with our peers, families and co-worker defines our attitude and life habits which shows a lot more about us. Family connections can have enormous impact on our identity. In most cases, people are often expected to carry on the expectations of the family’s generation. Conforming to peer’s expectations is another connection that can constantly challenge our beliefs of who we are. Sometimes, having connections with multiple people of various expectations can pull us in many directions as we try to please everyone all at once. Having a connection with other people can help nurture our limited knowledge of oneself, but the overwhelming expectations of other people could also alter our authentic individuality.
Family connection plays a vital role in our daily life. Relationship with family can have a strong impact on our personal identity. Sometimes, our families’ expectations can also lead us astray of our identity and be someone who we are not meant to be. Even though most Filipinos who are classified as low earning income families often go to Hong Kong or Singapore to work as servants, they never fail to keep in touch with their love ones abroad because it is their culture’s belief that family should always be put as a first priority in life no matter the circumstances. In contrast, Growing up Asian in Australia’s Chinese Perfect Children illustrates how families’ expectations can lead us to do things only to please our parents. Nowadays, in a competitive era, most parents would like their child to be exposed to the best possible education, but by doing so, they are not recognizing the talents of their children, but instead forcing them to choose high income occupations. As a consequence, most children do not have a sense of satisfaction despite earning high salaries because they fail to pursue their own dreams. Family connections can define who we are, but it can also shape our values, beliefs and dreams.
Conforming to peer pressure can have a harmful effect on our physical and mental wellbeing. It often alters our identity and shifts our attitude astray from our moral values and principle. Some people are ready to give up their religion and family traditions in order to belong to certain groups. People even go through extreme pain to embed emblems, piercings or tattoo in their physical body just to be accepted. This is evident that their desire to conform can later alter their attitude and lifestyle. Similarly, most migrants from other countries often tends to ‘Aussify’ their name so that they can be more acknowledge and accepted by their colleagues and workmates. Some other people, just like Michael Jackson, even went through the trouble to change his skin colour in order to fill more sense of belonging in US culture. Other people might even go through facial reconstruction just to make themselves look more like the ideal person that they want to be. The list goes on and on. How much more heritage and culture needed to be given up in order to belong? Giving in to peer pressure can ultimately shape our values and misguide our attitude and behavior towards our heritage and personal uniqueness.
People who often have connections with multiple people and various expectations can pull us in many directions, as a consequence not only does it crushes their self-esteem, but also have no time for their own needs. In Bombshell, Merrill’s desire to please her children, neighbor and husband Jacob all at the same time often makes her think that she is a failure in everything that she does. This is just an example of many mothers, where they set their own self- expectation to the extent that they practice selfless attitude, but at the same time lack time for their own needs. People who often do this value expectations of other people to the extent that they fail to attend to their own needs. Giving in to other people’s expectation alters their identity and state of mind into thinking that they are obligated to do every tasks that other people expect them to do.
Having connections to other people can either help us grow maturely or lead us astray from our family traditions, beliefs and pursuing our dreams. Family plays an important role in our lives, because their expectations can dictate our future and dreams. Conforming to the expectations of your friends or work colleagues does not only alter our mental and physical wellbeing, but also our behaviour towards religion, family, and others. Trying to satisfy several people’s expectations all at one go can also makes us feel obligated to do every tasks that they wants us to do. It damages our self-esteem and leaving no time for ourselves. Associating with other can help define our identity depending on the groups of people that we conform with.
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