I like that quote: "Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream." Fields, W. C.
In other words, choosing not too belong takes willpower. It can also streghthen your identity by reaffirming what you are not e.g. your frieds may be drunks, but if you're someone who values good-health, then choosing not to conform to drinking will only reinforce that you're a fitness fanatic.
During times of conflict you often question your identity. The analogy I like to use is when you a flying an aeroplane. Your flying and a cloud comes along, you can't see what's up or down, that's the same situation you get when other people make you question your values. If your values are good health, but your friends are clouding your judement and making you question your values. So what happens when you're in the airoplane, you have your instrument gauges (i.e life values e.g. good health) so what you have to do in that situation is hone in your gauges to pick out where the horizons at. During this situation, you have a weird vertigo feeling where you don't know what is up or down. You feel as if your flying upside down, but you have to trust you're gagues 100%.
Too take things deeper, maybe mention why it is natural to want to belong (maslows)
Why are we motivated by the need to belong?. What does this stem from? I think it's a biological thing. For instance, If your alone in the woods, your best chances of survival would be to join a group of cave man. So you'll subconciously emulate their ideals in order to be accepted. Likewise, todays society wants us to fit in. If you go to school, don't speak up, don't talk back, do this, do this, don't do that. Talk to a girl at work, sexual harrassment. Society is confining you to just fit in. Even writing on this forum now, I'm trying to fit in by not being vulgar. I'm trying to fit in. Everybody is trying to fit in the roles of society. Falling into these roles and acting into the constraints imposed by these roles. We got to step up and BREAK OUT OF THE ROLES. Destroy them and put yourself out there. Be real. If people don't like you it's their problem.
The example i like to use is the myth of Procrustes (
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procrustes)
It's about a hotel owner who decides to make the most perfect hotel in the world. However, if you didn't fit in your bed properly, he would go physically attack people by stretching them or cutting off their legs, in order to force them to fit the size of an iron bed. No different to how Schools punish you for whenever you don't follow their rules. They all want you to fit in, and thus stifling our individuality. This isn't a bad thing because its teaching you how to 'fit in' and survive. Without it, you would be this retarded kid running in the middle of traffic. But the point being, 'growing up' and 'fitting in' is boring in the sense that you become this homoginised drone. You become like star bucks. Nobody will dislike you, but no ones wearing the T-shirt. I'd rather be the boutique coffee house, where some people swear by, and other just despise it. Don't hold back. Put yourself out there, some people will dislike you, but that's their problem not yours. (can mention VAN GOUGH how he didnt want to fit in to typical artistry methods. Instead he did his own thing. People didnt like it at the time, but the only thing that matters is that he was doing it for his own fulfillment)
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