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May 09, 2026, 07:56:39 am

Author Topic: English Oral  (Read 1367 times)  Share 

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moyslut

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English Oral
« on: November 07, 2012, 05:56:47 pm »
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Good afternoon class and today i will be presenting my oral on the ongoing issue of animal cruelty and how the penalties do not live upto the crime.

The penalties for an offence towards an animal can vary from $1000 to $20,000 with possible imprisonment of up to two years. I feel that this is not nearly enough punishment for cruelty against a living thing. If someone kills a human they go to jail for much longer than two years, why should animals be any different.
Every day animals are being beaten, abused, lit on fire, dragged behind vehicles, starved, decapitated and more. Most often the offenders are let off the hook with minimal jail time, probation or less. Why do they continue to commit these acts of cruelty? Because there is no consequence to prevent them from committing such acts.

People who abuse other people are most likely to have a background on animal abuse as well. There are a lot of serial rapists and murderers who started out by abusing and torturing animals. When they think that they can get away with animals without any form of punishment, then they look for more challenging subjects: humans.
If a person knew how much time they would be facing or how high the fee's are, maybe there is a chance that one less dog would be fought, abused, or neglected. Some people feel that what they are doing is not considered wrong, and that they will never be caught, or found guilty.

It is very hard to gather information to get statistics on animal abuse, because almost all animal abuse situations go unreported. Even though such a small percentage of people that see an animal being abused report it, 1880 cases were reported in the media in 2007. 64.5% of these cases were situations where a domestic dog was being abused. The incidents ranged from neglecting to kicking, all the way up to burning the dogs, often because the dog was barking. Perhaps the dog was barking because of the unsatisfactory living conditions that it's forced to live with every day. Animal abuse is NOT okay, and should NOT be tolerated by the law.

One alarming case of animal cruelty was an offence to a black labrador who had suffered from a ruptured spleen. The dog was bleeding out internally and required numerous transfusions and an immediate splenectomy to save its life. What could have ruptured this dog's spleen? As it turned out, the labrador was a little too happy to see his owner when he arrived home from work and was jumping up and down with excitement, the dog's owner delivered a sharp kick to the abdomen that ruptured his spleen. Imagine the force of the kick that could rupture a young, healthy animal's internal organs. What's worse is that after the surgery, the dog went home to the same owner who put him in hospital with no penalties at all. Clearly this owner deserved a hefty fine and a jail sentence and clearly the laws need to change.

Putting a cat in a microwave, or oven, to suffer and die should be worth more than a one-year jail sentence. Feeding poison to a neighbours dog should be worth more than a fine. Stomping baby chicks to death should be worth more than a slap on the wrist. We must consider intentional cruelty to animals as a more serious offence There is no excuse in the world for intentionally causing pain and suffering to an animal. Since the act has a cruel intent, it should be punished severely. People who commit these horrifying crimes against animals should get more than 90 days to 1 year in jail and a small fine. Those poor animals went through hell for weeks to years and they need more justice than a slap on a wrist. Abusing an animal is equally as bad as abusing a child. Animals, like children, are defenceless and they look to humans to protect them and keep them safe from harm.

Although most would agree the laws need to be changed, a small minority disagree with comments such as "an animals life is not worth the same as a human." and "If you want laws to be more strict move to a country where animals are protected more fiercely" this is beyond the point that the people who are committing these horrible crimes are getting away with it in the majority of countries around the world. Another supported argument opposed to the laws of animal cruelty changing is how everyone deserves a second chance in life and that if you are convicted of an animal cruelty offence, it goes on your criminal record forever. This will damage a persons reputation and will ultimately force the person out of a job. However i believe that if a person can do such a horrible act intentionally, they deserve the harshest of punishments and if this behaviour goes along unrecognised more and more incidents will occur.

The right kind of Punishment. A jail sentence is a good restraint and would stop some cruel attacks on animals, but really what is also needed is mental help for those people who show any signs of aggression to animals. Putting them in jail will not mend their problems. These people need real help or will very likely come out of prison more angry than when they went in. So, while certainly harsher punishments need to be made, better ways of preventing further problems also need to be addressed.

FlorianK

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Re: English Oral
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2012, 01:15:09 am »
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I'll give more subjective suggestions for this one as I think others might see it differently and it also strongly depends on the tone of voice that you use.


Good afternoon class and today i will be presenting my oral on the ongoing issue of animal cruelty and how the penalties do not live upto the crime.

The penalties for an offence towards an animal can vary from $1000 to $20,000 with possible imprisonment of up to two years Numbers in the first sentence --> you lost half of you audience. I feel that this is not nearly enough punishment for cruelty against any living thing. If someone kills a human they go to jail for much longer than two years,. wWhy should animals be any different?
Every day animals are being beaten, abused, lit on fire, dragged behind vehicles, starved,or even decapitated and more. Most often the offenders are let off the hook with minimal jail time, probation or less. Why do they continue to commit these acts of cruelty? Because there is no consequence to prevent them from committing such acts. This sentence is against what you are arguing for, it states that more severe penalties wouldn't improve the situation.

People who abuse other people are most likely to have a background on animal abuse as well. There are a lot of serial rapists and murderers who started out by abusing and torturing animals. When they think that they can get away with animals ?!? without any form of punishment, then they look for more challenging subjects: humans.little too much of an exaggeration?
If a person knew how much time they would be facing or how high the fee's are, maybe there is a chance that one less dog would be fought, abused, or neglected killed - you should list your results in an ascending order. Some people feel that what they are doing is not considered wrong, and that they will never be caught, or found guilty. Last sentence should be something more powerfull.

It is very hard to gather information to get statistics on animal abuse, because almost all animal abuse situations go unreportedWhat you are saying is "Don't listen to my statistics, because they are basically all wrong. Even though such a small percentage of people that see an animal being abused report it,. 1880 cases were reported in the media in 2007. 64.5% of these cases were situations where a domestic dog was being abusedThis sentence might make you loose audience, as its stating that there are some dogs that are better than others.. The incidents ranged from neglecting to kicking, all the way up to burning the dogs, often because the dog was barking. Perhaps the dog was barking because of the unsatisfactory living conditions that it's forced to live with every day. Animal abuse is NOT okay, and should NOT be tolerated by the law. It is not!!! You should write more something regarding your topic.

One alarming case of animal cruelty was an offence to a black labrador who had suffered from a ruptured spleen. The dog was bleeding out internally and required numerous transfusions and an immediate splenectomy to save its life. What could have ruptured this dog's spleen? As it turned out, the labrador was a little too happy to see his owner when he arrived home from work and was jumping up and down with excitement, the dog's owner delivered a sharp kick to the abdomen that ruptured his spleen. Imagine the force of the kick that could rupture a young, healthy animal's internal organs. What's worse is that after the surgery, the dog went home to the same owner who put him in hospital with no penalties at all. Clearly this owner deserved a hefty fine and a jail sentence and clearly the laws need to change. You wrote this paragraph very stiff without emotions. You should appeal more to the listeners sence of empathy.

Putting a cat in a microwave, or oven, to suffer and die should be worth more than a one-year jail sentence. Feeding poison to a neighbours dog should be worth more than a fine. Stomping baby chicks to death should be worth more than a slap on the wrist. We must consider intentional cruelty to animals as a more serious offence There is no excuse in the world for intentionally causing pain and suffering to an animal. Since the act has a cruel intent, it should be punished severely. People who commit these horrifying crimes against animals should get more than 90 days to 1 year in jail and a small fine. Those poor animals went through hell for weeks to years and they need more justice than a slap on a wrist. Abusing an animal is equally as bad as abusing a child. Animals, like children, are defenceless and they look to humans to protect them and keep them safe from harm. Again more emotion. Your topic is very emotionally, but you are writing it very stiff.

Although most would agree the laws need to be changed, a small minority disagree with comments such as "an animals life is not worth the same as a human." and "If you want laws to be more strict move to a country where animals are protected more fiercely" this is beyond the point that the people who are committing these horrible crimes are getting away with it in the majority of countries around the world. Another supported argument opposed to the laws of animal cruelty changing is how everyone deserves a second chance in life and that if you are convicted of an animal cruelty offence, it goes on your criminal record forever. This will damage a persons reputation and will ultimately force the person out of a job. However i believe that if a person can do such a horrible act intentionally, they deserve the harshest of punishments - so in the USA you would say that when somebody hits his/her dog he/she should go to jail?!? and if this behaviour goes along unrecognised more and more incidents will occur.

The right kind of Punishment. A jail sentence is a good restraint and would stop some cruel attacks on animals, but really what is also needed is mental help for those people who show any signs of aggression to animals. Putting them in jail will not mend their problems. These people need real help or will very likely come out of prison more angry than when they went in. So, while certainly harsher punishments need to be made, better ways of preventing further problems also need to be addressed.

You definitely need to work on your writing style and try to develop a more 'beautiful' phraseology. Read your oral out loud while writing your sentences they are all really bad to read in a pursuasive way.
Re-draft it and put it back online.

MonsieurHulot

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Re: English Oral
« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2012, 10:35:26 am »
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You definitely need to work on your writing style and try to develop a more 'beautiful' phraseology. Read your oral out loud while writing your sentences they are all really bad to read in a pursuasive way.
Re-draft it and put it back online.
I disagree, there were a couple of powerful parts and by no means are they "all really bad to read in a persuasive way".
The repetition of:
Quote
Putting a cat in a microwave, or oven, to suffer and die should be worth more than a one-year jail sentence. Feeding poison to a neighbours dog should be worth more than a fine. Stomping baby chicks to death should be worth more than a slap on the wrist.
would sound strong and powerful when delivered in an appropriate way.

How would you re-write that with a more beautiful phraseology, FlorianK?

Stick

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Re: English Oral
« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2012, 11:05:08 am »
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He presented this oral a month ago and did fairly well. I agree that the general expression and sophistication needs working on, but there are some incredibly powerful sentences in there. Moyslut has a strong passion for animal health and welfare and it definitely does show in his work. It's unfortunate that our school has been assigned a topic for the Year 12 oral because students have potentially been robbed of an opportunity to speak out about an issue they are really passionate about.
« Last Edit: December 07, 2012, 05:16:47 pm by Stick »
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