The Genie Game

[SING]

Granted. There are no currencies of any sort, but there is no way to pay for any purchase either. The only way to obtain something you need is by stealing it. The day after your wish is granted, your neighbour's house is burnt down and he wants a new house. Because there is no way to buy a new house, he forces his way into your house and brutally murders your wife, children and finally you.

I wish all diseases had a cure.

[alondouek]

Granted - as well as diseases in the metaphorical sense. The earth's greatest parasite, humanity, is eliminated in a split-second. Nature reclaims the urban areas in a vast show of beauty, but no human eye will ever see it.

I wish people couldn't get splinters.

[SING]

Granted. No one can get a splinter - everyone is automatically born with a splinter that cannot ever be removed.

I wish I ruled the world.

[SING]

Wish?

Oops. Sorry. I edited my previous post.

[alondouek]

Granted - but you do not rule anything on the world, i.e. people etc. Good luck ordering those rocks around

I wish that Australia weren't so neo-liberalist.

[SING]

Granted. Australia will turn into a fully Communist and under-developed country like China a few decades ago. (No offence to China meant.)

I wish there was no more crime.

[alondouek]

Granted - all 'crimes' are now legalised, the world goes to shit. Batman is needed.

I wish I had a library in my home.

[SING]

Granted. You have a public library in your home and you are the sole owner, librarian and cleaner of the whole library. You are obliged to serve everyone who uses your free service. You find yourself caught up in an

Unpaid (because I said it was a free public service),
Full-time (because everyone loves your library and keeps coming) 
Unpleasant (because you have to clean up after everyone and look after all the books) and
Costly (because you must pay for all the books)

job.
I'm sure you regret your wish.

I wish summer wasn't so damned hot.

[alondouek]

Granted - the sun's just been extinguished. Not only has Summer been cooled, but our solar system has disbanded.

I wish that Australia would successfully invade New Zealand.

[SING]

Granted. The world, meanwhile, points fingers at us for being tyrants and power-hungry, quite like Hitler. We Australians are demonised, belittled and laughed at for being so disloyal to our "supposed" friends. The rest of the world declares war on us in fear that they too may be the next to be attacked by Australia. We have not only lost all our country-friends, including our greatest mate America, but also started WW3.

I wish I were still holidaying in China.

[alondouek]

Granted - You have now been transported instantaneously to Harbin. You're still wearing your Aussie Summer clothes - but it's    -23°C in Harbin.

I wish America would introduce arms control measures for its civilian population.

[SING]

Granted - You have now been transported instantaneously to Harbin. You're still wearing your Aussie Summer clothes - but it's    -23°C in Harbin.

Hey! - I went to Harbin when I was in China! (It's only the 8th or 9th coldest place in China according to the tour guide. The coldest place can get to -40 or 50 C in winter - in daytime)

Granted. America introduces arms control measures for its civilian population but Australia gets rid of all arms control measures for its civilian population, although it is highly unlikely.

I wish I would never feel hot or cold. Just warm will do very fine.

[alondouek]

lol I have no knowledge of Asian countries beyond the political; I just googled a map of china and looked for a place up north

Granted - you feel warm all the time, but it's the uncomfortable, febrile sort of warm. At least you'll be warm in -23°C Harbin though!

I wish that Richmond Tigers would win the 2013 premiership #unrealisticwish

[SING]

Granted. The Richmond Tiger will win the 2013 premiership only. No matter how good they get in the future, they will never win it again until the sun destroys Earth.

I wish I could be more organised.

[alondouek]

they will never win it again

my greatest fear...

Granted - you are now so organised your life seems almost devoid of character. You are then diagnosed with manic Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and placed in a padded room in an asylum. On the upside, you have no possessions which compel you to organise anything anymore.

I wish I had a puppy (this may have already been done lol).