Please Help with Language Analysis!

[tomrox356]

Following the felling of an avenue of mature aged, but storm damaged elm trees in the suburb of Avonlea, debate has arisen as to the legitimacy of the actions taken by the council involved. Having only recently announced new initiatives against vandalism, and enforcing sever penalties to those who deface buildings, and spray paint slogans, writer  Vanessa Swan, in her opinion piece “Barking up the wrong tree”, argues passionately that the elm tree’s were not severely damaged as a result of violent storms, and that perhaps the “true vandals” are in fact the Avonlea Council. As a member of the Action Coalition for our trees (ACT), Swan portrays herself as having a leadership role to ensure the health and prolonged life duration of these elms, and whilst being published online, and on the opinion page of a Melbourne, means that she intends to send the message across to the concerned citizens of Avonlea, whom she insists will tolerate no further encroachments on their shared heritage. The accompanying cartoon asserts that, perfectly fine elms are being destroyed, whilst also destroying the habitats and food sources for many animals, which supports Swans idea of the council being vandals themselves.

Swan constructs her initial argument, that the elms are of exceptional beauty and they cannot be replaced by new plantings through the use of an officious tone. To establish her argument, the inclusion of expert opinion from independent arborist Samuel Hawthorne, who confirms that “its a matter of maintenance” and that “the solution isn’t to cut them down”, positions the reader to trust what is being said by Swans, in order for them to be encouraged to take action on the councils decisions, and help prevent further elm destruction. Swan builds on her initial premise through the use of collective inclusive language, where she asserts “We dispute this”, which not only depicts her contribution and association with the correlating coalition, that as a result illustrates her professionalism, however also positions the reader to feel a large amount of time and effort has gone into the research behind the elm demolishment, in order for the reader to attain trust and belief in the ACT. Accompanying the opinion piece is a cartoon of a large tree, occupied by a variety of animals, which is about to be chainsawed down by a worker, which intends to thrust the idea that there is lack of knowledge before the elm destruction occurs into the mind of the reader.

After establishing that the trees are irreplaceable, Swan builds upon her argument by outlining the environmental aspects of the resultant felling. She extends upon her argument through the use of an emotional tone, whereby she attempts to position the reader to feel as though they themselves are apart of the Action Coalition for our trees. By developing her idea that unlike Samuel Hawthorne “we are not altogether shocked”, she appeals to the members of Avonlea council to deliver change. She extends upon her argument, by outline that the trees play a “vital role” in our environment, through their capacity to process carbon dioxide, which is an attempt to switch the tone of article to a more sympathetic tone. On the other hand, the length of her second paragraph, in which her second major argument is discussed, is slightly longer in length that her opening paragraph, perhaps outlining that importance of the environment in comparison to the heritage factors involved. Swan concludes her argument by asserting that its “impossible to overestimate their contribution to our physical and mental well-being”, in attempt to make the reader think twice about the trees involvement in maintaining the health of todays society.

In order to leave the reader with a strong link to his opening argument, Swan appeals to all members of the Avonlea Council tolerate no further encroachments on their shared heritage. Through the use alarmist tone, Swan poses a number of questions, appealing for the reader to “ask yourself” a variety of questions, whereby she aims to make the reader question whether or not they truly want the best for their council. The correlating image associated, is used to help convince the reader that the deeds are actually being performed; the demolition of exceptional, beautiful elms. Through the use of the phrase beneath it, that states “The tree of life”, not only does this re-emphasise the contribution they have on todays society, however it shows that what the Avonlea council is doing is truly horrific.

Both the article and the image itself contend that primarily the felling of the elm trees in Avonlea was a bad idea, and that it should never have happened. The writer, Swan attempts to persuade the reader to take action upon the council, by emphasising the importance of the trees in helping maintain the health of our ecosystems, and asserting their magnificence in the Avonlea council.


What can i do to improve? I know its not very good but any help would be much appreciated!