50 in English - Feel free to ask questions.

[Yang Li]

Sorry guys who were anticipating this last week; I wrote this in my diary a week late. Here's the paragraph I wrote for I&B.

Form: Expository
Time: 7 mins

"An individual’s identity is based on both external forces and internal motivations. It cannot be separated from the individual’s freedom of choice, which itself is subject to the particular individual’s perception of the world. That perception in turn is based on the identity that the individual has already established through their experiences and choices in life. We can see the interesting cyclic nature between identity and belonging here, where one’s identity is based on the external forces of the group environment; yet that environment in turn is subject to the individual’s choice. In Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield is an individual who faces an identity crises due to his inability to relate to those around him. He sees the concession of one’s own individualism in order to belong as a “phony” thing to do. As a result, he is constantly rejected from all the social groups which he so craves to belong to. It is ironic that he simultaneously needs to belong, yet finds the process to be revolting due to its intrusion into his often admirable personal values. However, the effect is a Holden who is clearly diminished, one who feels like his identity is “disappearing”. It is clear that there is great angst in individuals who feel like they cannot belong in any group, and “drift” between groups in search of their identity. Interestingly, it is a strong attachment to their already established personal identity, including the values, motivations and projection of ego, that prevent individuals from truly belonging and thus further solidifying their social identity through such belonging. Thus, it seems that the personal identity is often in conflict with the group or social identity, in effect limiting the number and substance of identities that a person can take on."

Vote for the next context!

[Einstein]

Hi Yang,

We have a upcoming SAC on context, which is in the form of imaginary writing, with the context encountering conflict, situated around ideas from Animal Farm. My dilemma is , i have hardly written one, i wrote one in year 7/8 and one beginning of year 10, where i blabbed on about random stuff. I have no idea how to go about it an no idea of structuring.

I have come up with an idea about using the basis of the darwin bombings as the story, with mr Frederick and humans etc attacking on Animal Farm, thats just an idea i got no idea. Do you have anything that will help me/tips etc such as expressing it and so on, maybe some other ideas if possible

Thanks heaps :0

[PsychoT]

Hi, I have an upcoming SAC on language analysis, where we have to write the analysis about an article as well as two letters to the editor on the same topic. We get told to point out strategies used to persuade, but what are they? Teacher hasn't done a good job of explaining this, and I don't get how persuasive techniques can't be seen as strategies in his eyes.

Also if you have any ideas on how to keep the analysis running fluent throughout, with one paragraph linking into another, that would be great!

[Yang Li]

Hi Photon,

It's hard for me to give any specific advice without reading your writing. Imaginative pieces are subjective in nature. A few things to keep in mind are:
- Don't tell the reader, describe it. Use descriptions that appeal to the five senses in order to create empathy in the reader for your character(s).
- Don't concentrate on the complexity of the plot. Often the most poignant messages are simple but emotionally nuanced.
- Always be critical of your own writing. Read it over a few times and tweak it so that all the subtle elements align with your message.

Perhaps you can explore the idea of an individual's internal conflict, and how it may relate to external conflicts.


Hi tozer24,

Language analysis is time consuming, but also the most straight forward of the English essays. For a guide on how to write language analysis pieces, download my guide in the first post of this thread.

Letters to the editor are a relic of the past, from pre 2008 exams. It essentially asks you to write a persuasive piece in response to the article given to you. Have a read of my guide and post any questions in this thread

All the best to you both,

Yang

[Cort]

Hi Yang, another silly question:

While I'm beginning to compile my feedback (oh how I hate my lazy me); is there a way to begin to develop more mature and complex ideas? One way is to read other people's work (especially those who are more competent in my school) - is there any other recommended ways you suggest?

Thanks,
Cort.

[Einstein]

is their a particular structure i should aim for?

[Yang Li]

Sorry for the delayed reply guys. I fell ill this week and forgot to diary this.

Cort,

It sounds simple, but try what I call the "WHA" method. It stands for "Why? How? Always?". Basically when you have a general contention like "X is a blah, blah and blah character", you find complexity by asking "why is X is way", "how does X achieve this" and "is X always like this". It is a great way to think outside the box.

Photon,

If you still haven't tackled it yet, I won't dictate what structure you should aim for. If I were to tackle this, I would consider writing a personal narrative. Basically, by writing from a character's perspective, you can elude to many themes that may come across their mind as well as convey feelings and emotions quite directly and effectively.

All the best to you both,

Yang

[yang_dong]

Hi, I was wondering....

in the sentence: ‘dismantle[d] the Howard government’s hard-won border protection’ policies, in effect ‘turbocharged the people smuggling racket and lured asylum seekers…with the promise of open borders’.

How is the word 'hard - won' used? How does it effect the readers?

[Yang Li]

Hi yang_dong,

"Hard-won" here is descriptive and alludes to the idea of "effort" in the creation of such policies. It intends to induce readers to feel a sense of pride in the work that our country has put into these policies.

There are many plausible explanations, but the above is most likely. However, there are no right or wrong answers in Language Analysis. The important thing is that your observations are plausible and reasonable.

All the best,

Yang

[yang_dong]

Hi Yang_Li

Thank you,

but i was wondering so if someone (its the opposition government) is to dismantle that hard work, effort and pride (by the previous government), i;m not sure how to explain the readers impact... surely one would have a negative impact but i don't know how to express it.. so readers are encouraged to...

i'm not sure...

[Yang Li]

Hi yang_dong,

Download my guide in the first post of this thread. Look at the examples, follow the instructions, and have a go yourself. Come ask me again afterwards. You'll probably find it much easier to understand

All the best,

Yang

[yang_dong]

ok

[yang_dong]

Hi Yang Li,

I have looked at you're guides very helpful thank you

but

praising the Right as mature ‘grownups’ who handled the refugee situation so that ‘not a single boat has arrived in Australia for 68 days and counting’. In here, Devine...

i'm not sure how to phrase it cause i want to say something along the lines of... it presents them as 'they know what they are doing as the "adults"... capable/efficient/able (cause i've used that too many times and i checked the thesaurus it comes up with words like experience, skilful talented etc...  but that doesn't really fit in my context)

Or is there another connotation for you?

Thank you

[Yang Li]

Hi yang_dong,

Can you please clarify a few things for me:
1) What is the issue?
2) What is the writer's contention?
3) What is the sentence you have trouble with?
4) What have you come up with so far?

Yang

[yang_dong]

yup.

1) refugees dying at sea trying to get here after the Labor party removed out operation sovereignty border protection policy
2) that these deaths at sea are Labor Party fault, and the current Abbot government should not be blamed/criticised
3) this is a direct quote from the article: 'Now we can see that it was the “humanitarian” policies of Labor and the Greens that were the sole cause of those 1200 deaths at sea, of detention centres bulging at the seams with unhappy people, including 1000 children'
4) By praising the Right as mature ‘grownups’ who handled the refugee situation so that ‘not a single boat has arrived in Australia for 68 days and counting’, Devine (name of the writer) purports the right as.....
i'm not sure how to phrase it cause i want to say something along the lines of... it presents them as 'they know what they are doing as the "adults"... capable/efficient/able (cause i've used that too many times and i checked the thesaurus it comes up with words like experience, skilful talented etc...  but that doesn't really fit in my context)

Or is there another connotation for you?

Thank you