when people "praise" you: "OH, but you work soooo hard!"... -_-

[PB]

Does anyone else get really annoyed when people make comments to you like " Oh wow, you work so hard! I wish I work as hard as you..". Especially when they are beating you in like every SAC.
 I dunno if I am overthinking this, but honestly, I actually get really frustrated Its almost as if they are saying "hey look, I don't have to work at all and I am still beating you! aka. I am much smarter than you!"  and then they give you that smile as if that was supposed to be a compliment...........
Do you guys have any ideas on how to combat this problem? Because, it really makes me feel terrible that I am working so hard, while still yeilding worse marks then people who seemingly don't.
I just feel the urge to tell them to shush but then it would ruin the friendship but then again, I hate having to deal with this stereotype of being the "tryhard" "no lyfer" who still does average at VCE...

[brenden]

I find it incredibly ironic that you made this post after scoring a 44 in Methods.

That does sound pretty frustrating and pretty arrogant on behalf of the people saying that. How to combat the problem: three fingers down, one finger up.

[Planck's constant]

You will find that most of those people who beat you in the SAC's actually work harder than you, but like to pretend they are naturally born geniuses.

HTH   

[s.ay]

You don't always know how hard others may be working. Some people like to keep up the facade of being chilled, but I have witnessed first hand that those who claim to do nothing may just be hiding their effort at risk of being judged or failing. 

[brenden]

Yeah actually those are pretty valid points ^^.

[psyxwar]

Does anyone else get really annoyed when people make comments to you like " Oh wow, you work so hard! I wish I work as hard as you..". Especially when they are beating you in like every SAC.
 I dunno if I am overthinking this, but honestly, I actually get really frustrated Its almost as if they are saying "hey look, I don't have to work at all and I am still beating you! aka. I am much smarter than you!"  and then they give you that smile as if that was supposed to be a compliment...........
Do you guys have any ideas on how to combat this problem? Because, it really makes me feel terrible that I am working so hard, while still yeilding worse marks then people who seemingly don't.
I just feel the urge to tell them to shush but then it would ruin the friendship but then again, I hate having to deal with this stereotype of being the "tryhard" "no lyfer" who still does average at VCE...

That sounds... incredibly condescending. I'm sure they do work hard, maybe more so than you, but saying something like that when they beat you consistently sounds incredibly insincere and almost as if they're saying it to make you feel inferior

[Special At Specialist]

I hate having to deal with this stereotype of being the "tryhard" "no lyfer" who still does average at VCE...

I know what you mean. People would much rather be that cool guy who doesn't seem to care about school but "wings" a 90 ATAR than that try-hard nerd who is obsessed with their marks, yet still only gets in the 80's...

I was the latter. At first I thought it wasn't fair, but after a long hard think to myself, I came to this conclusion:

You don't always know how hard others may be working. Some people like to keep up the facade of being chilled, but I have witnessed first hand that those who claim to do nothing may just be hiding their effort at risk of being judged or failing. 

The simple solution is to act humble about your grades and don't compare yourself to other people publicly. Let your mind and marks do the talking, not your mouth.

[PB]

Cheers for the encouragement guys :-) I shall definitely try to keep your advice!

[Fluttershy]

As a giver of said compliments, I think it depends on which situation you're in. I completely understand why you would be annoyed/upset by people saying this who are scoring better than you, but some of my friends genuinely work 10 times harder than me, and the results show it. I truly do wish that I had a work ethic like they did, I have a really hard time motivating myself to study and when I do, it's usually last minute cramming before an assignment or an exam (like today, for me). Some of my friends have been at uni studying since 8 or 9 this morning non-stop while I've been at home trying to read notes while playing games and listening to music. The type of self-motivation that my friends have is something I've been trying to develop, and I guess I am complimenting them on their self-discipline and focus, rather than feeling superior to them or anything (not that I have any reason to feel superior given my current grades )

In any case, I wouldn't think everyone who praises you for working hard is actually gloating that they're beating you with minimal effort, or whatever. Some of them might just be trying to encourage you, or make you feel better in some way. I mean, what would you rather them say? 'Oh yeah, I beat you cos my study plan is more effective than yours and I'm naturally smarter than you as well'?

I dunno, if it really irritates you I suppose you could try not talking about your own marks, and eventually people will stop giving you those remarks. You could tell people that you're happy with your mark, and that you'd rather not talk about it too much. You'd be surprised how quickly people forget about pestering you with SAC talk when you reply to every question about your mark with 'I did OK, I'm pretty happy with my mark' with a big sincere grin on your face.

[shadows]

Don't listen to what they say.

If you don't want other people knowing what you got, then it's not their fucking business.

Does it really matter if they did 30 mins or 5 hours of study per day? And get As for everything..

Just worry about trying and working your hardest, and achieving your personal best.

Even if some of us are not as smart, it doesn't mean that we should surrender in a foetal position and accept failure. It means we gotta work harder. It's not fair, but it's life.

Don't give up.

[Kuchiki]

Does anyone else get really annoyed when people make comments to you like " Oh wow, you work so hard! I wish I work as hard as you..". Especially when they are beating you in like every SAC.
 I dunno if I am overthinking this, but honestly, I actually get really frustrated Its almost as if they are saying "hey look, I don't have to work at all and I am still beating you! aka. I am much smarter than you!"  and then they give you that smile as if that was supposed to be a compliment...........

I used to make comments like that to my friend, because I genuinely felt that she worked so hard and I really respected her work ethic. Never did I mean it in a condescending way, but more as a "That mark doesn't reflect how much work you put in."

I guess it all depends on context, since I don't know these people you're talking about and I can't hear how they're saying these comments.

In any case, I wouldn't think everyone who praises you for working hard is actually gloating that they're beating you with minimal effort, or whatever. Some of them might just be trying to encourage you, or make you feel better in some way. I mean, what would you rather them say? 'Oh yeah, I beat you cos my study plan is more effective than yours and I'm naturally smarter than you as well'?

^ This.

[Professor Polonsky]

If you can't take a genuine compliment that you are a hard worker, then the issue is with you, not with your classmates. It's an admirable trait, and one which many of us (myself included) wish we had. If you think, however, that they are only saying it to be condescending - fuck them, who cares.

[Stick]

I can understand what you're saying, because a friend of mine has been placed in this situation numerous times.

What I also find annoying is when people try to avoid taking responsibility for their own learning and make excuses for themselves. In particular, it makes my blood boil when people say that someone is "lucky" to be smart and doing well academically, while completely disregarding the hard work they do behind the scenes.

[brenden]

Oh man, this every time ^^^. *1738392&27

[appianway]

Weird, because when I was in high school, I did well and always got praised for "working so hard" even though most of my evenings were spent on facebook or on the internet doing something else. I definitely didn't work as hard as the average student at my school (I know this, because we had to do a homework survey once), even though I cared about how I did more than the average student. It used to always bother me when people would put my success down to "oh, you work so hard!" because I didn't really - I relied on being efficient and being able to grasp things quickly to get through.

Fast forward four years, and I do work really hard. But my cohort is also super super hard working (perhaps harder working in some respects?), and is also much brighter than I'd ever experienced, so I can't rely on that to get me through. However, I decided that what matters to me isn't doing *well* in a typical sense anymore, but it's about learning as much as possible and about stretching myself as much as possible. So I take really hard classes and try and learn as much from them. The comments I get now are things more like "wow, look at the classes you're taking!" and "the research you're doing/have done is cool."