Just a side question, many of you have listed that you want to 'prove' others wrong. Why is this? What makes you so convinced that you can do it and how do you motivate yourself to reach for that desired ATAR score? Motivation can only last for bouts of time, but what makes you want to soldier on? Why is proving others wrong, those who doubted you etc, so important? Why do you always have to, in a sense, win?
I don't think anyone is really convinced. I knew it was a possibility because people did it before me. Literally, here's a neat proof that I liked a lot.
"It is possible for persons to reach my goal"
"I am a person"
"Therefore, I can reach my goal."
That's how I think of anything. Physical, mental. It is possible for humans to run 1000m in 3 minutes. I am a human. I will run 1000m in 3 minutes.
Fear made me soldier on though. Like, <90 would have been extremely embarrassing for me after I had told everyone (and I did this deliberately to set myself up, sadistic prick) that I was going to get a 90 and whatever else. So shame/embarrassment/fear of failure/inadequacy. I used to think "When you're a teacher, you're going to have students ask you what your ATAR was... How can you expect the best students to have faith in you if it was shit?"
I don't know why proving people wrong was so important. It's pretty demented, really.... I'm not so much that way now (probably becaues people don't doubt me as much). Maybe proving people wrong is a punishment thing. (excuse me while I analyse myself here). Like... I dunno, when people used to doubt me I used to hate them for it and want them to suffer, or just want them to be less. So I guess if I could prove them wrong and then not even mention it, I could know that they knew that I was better than them because I didn't have to be a prick back to them (even though I was being a prick on the inside).
Ultimately I think it just stems from low self-esteem and basing your own self-worth on what others think of you. You care what they think, even if you're saying "i don't give a fuck what you think so I'll do it anyway"... so I guess the constant care about what other people think is what did/does it.
So I guess it's so important so you can be worthwhile as a person in a really fucked up way. You have to win so you can be happy, because if you don't 'win' you're worthless.
*all from the memories of my demented mentality
Edit: this is Brenden. Fuck. just realised I was logged into my sister's account instead of mine. Woops.