VCE Year 12 Class of 2015

[Orb]

Is it just me, or does everyone here seem like they're being pressure by their parents to do well?
I mean, my parents want me to do well, obviously, but even if I dont, its not a big deal. You guys are acting like your parents are controlling your schooling I know theyre our parents and we have to respect them, but ultimately who are you doing this for (VCE), yourself or your parents? Obviously you, to secure the best possible future. So work hard, head up, and dont worry what other people think of you, just give in 100% effort and no one, and nothing can put you down!!!!

Unfortunately it's a common characteristic of 'tiger mums/dads'

It is often said that the most successful people, however, are those that are motivated to work hard by themselves without the influence of parents though

[appleandbee]

If you have one of those 'tiger mum' or 'tiger dads', then I really feel for you.

Personally, whenever I feel oppressed by mum/dad, I generally look over to other friends that I can relate to, and often their parents are significantly more strict.

For example, who's ever heard of corporal punishment nowadays :O (yes, there are parents who still do it)
Who on earth creates a timer to check how long your child studies everyday and scolds them if they don't do 5+ hours? (and yes, there are parents who do that too)
Another bizarre example was when I went over to a friend's house and their parents gave me the gaming consoles to play but forced him to study until he had finished his daily work. That experience made me feel sort of disgusted at myself because it made me feel like I was just turning up to his house to play by myself.

Obviously, those methods do work (all recipients of multiple 50 raw study scores), but I personally feel that the oppressiveness exceeds what should be allowed/encouraged in today's society. So when I hear mum reprimanding me for being on Facebook, I tend to take it in and just let it pass, because my parents are angels in comparison haha

I actually think my parents are angels in comparison too  . They don’t have towering expectations of me or send me to those intense tutoring programs lol; in fact I put way more pressure on myself than they do to me. It’s just hard to please them because what they consider impressive is raw 50s (or near that) in English (preferably Literature), a science (preferable Chemistry because it’s the hardest), maths (including Spesh), a humanities, music performance and a language (especially if it’s a language totally different to their cultural background). As you can see they place an emphasis on being an all-rounder, as well as being really good at all those areas, which I think it great because some parents limit their definition of intelligence to areas their child is good in or maths/science stuff.  I guess the key is to not to disappoint them instead of trying to please them. They really only expected a raw 40 score in most of my subjects and a 38 in Spesh, which I don’t think is unreasonable, although they probably expect much higher now because they know what I’m aiming for. I just fear disappointing them and myself, as I don’t know how they’ll react.

My parents used a cane when I was younger whenever I got a bad grade or couldn’t answer a question, but that was only because one of my dad’s maths teachers in school used a cane in class to punish students who couldn’t answer a question as a result of not listening. I used to have to study in my dad’s room. Few months ago they told me to drop methods and spesh because I wasn’t doing any trial exams as they were 16 months away at the time. I remember when I told them I was aiming for 48+ in methods (based on school and trial exam results), 42+ in Spesh and 46+ in Engish they could me I couldn’t because all the people aiming to do medicine would get that kind of score because they needed it to get into their course whereas I didn’t, so therefore there wouldn’t be enough slots for me to get that kind of score. I got pissed each time they told me that, so they stopped. Also told me that they would be much harsher on me if I were a boy. Nowadays they let me find my own path and so whatever I want lol, they let me choose my uni course, so it’s pretty good  .

By the way what co-curricular do you guys do? Just asking out of pure interest 

[strawberries]

Is it just me, or does everyone here seem like they're being pressure by their parents to do well?
I mean, my parents want me to do well, obviously, but even if I dont, its not a big deal. You guys are acting like your parents are controlling your schooling I know theyre our parents and we have to respect them, but ultimately who are you doing this for (VCE), yourself or your parents? Obviously you, to secure the best possible future. So work hard, head up, and dont worry what other people think of you, just give in 100% effort and no one, and nothing can put you down!!!!

If you have one of those 'tiger mum' or 'tiger dads', then I really feel for you.

Personally, whenever I feel oppressed by mum/dad, I generally look over to other friends that I can relate to, and often their parents are significantly more strict.

For example, who's ever heard of corporal punishment nowadays :O (yes, there are parents who still do it)
Who on earth creates a timer to check how long your child studies everyday and scolds them if they don't do 5+ hours? (and yes, there are parents who do that too)
Another bizarre example was when I went over to a friend's house and their parents gave me the gaming consoles to play but forced him to study until he had finished his daily work. That experience made me feel sort of disgusted at myself because it made me feel like I was just turning up to his house to play by myself.

Obviously, those methods do work (all recipients of multiple 50 raw study scores), but I personally feel that the oppressiveness exceeds what should be allowed/encouraged in today's society. So when I hear mum reprimanding me for being on Facebook, I tend to take it in and just let it pass, because my parents are angels in comparison haha

omg, can kinda feel.
honestly, I'm not gonna be sad if I don't get a 35+ (I will be sad if I can't get 20 though), but my parents will be.
I think I've said this before, it can't of makes me feel like I'm working for them instead of myself. Like there's so much pressure to do well. But really, I'm relaxed. Everyone at my school even thinks I am TOO relaxed

I remember when I was younger (early high school) or something I complained about my mum being too strict and then she told me about Amy Chua (her book is called The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother if you didn't know) and she was telling me about how strict she was to her children and then she was like "see? i'm not that strict after all, I should be stricter on you anyway"
but I think now they're not as strict seeing as I'm older, more freedom etc

I actually think my parents are angels in comparison too  . They don’t have towering expectations of me; in fact I put way more pressure on myself than they do to me. It’s just hard to please them because what they consider impressive is raw 50s (or near that) in English (preferably Literature), a science (preferable Chemistry because it’s the hardest), maths (including Spesh), a humanities, music performance and a language (especially if it’s a language totally different to their cultural background). As you can see they place an emphasis on being an all-rounder, as well as being really good at all those areas, which I think it great because some parents limit their definition of intelligence to areas their child is good in or maths/science stuff.  I guess the key is to not to disappoint them instead of trying to please them. They really only expected a raw 40 score in most of my subjects and a 38 in Spesh, which I don’t think is unreasonable, although they probably expect much higher now because they know what I’m aiming for. I just fear disappointing them and myself, as I don’t know how they’ll react.

My parents used a cane when I was younger whenever I got a bad grade or couldn’t answer a question, but that was only because one of my dad’s maths teachers in school used a cane in class to punish students who couldn’t answer a question as a result of not listening. I used to have to study in my dad’s room. Few months ago they told me to drop methods and spesh because I wasn’t doing any trial exams as they were 16 months away at the time. I remember when I told them I was aiming for 48+ in methods (based on school and trial exam results), 42+ in Spesh and 46+ in Engish they could me I couldn’t because all the people aiming to do medicine would get that kind of score because they needed it to get into their course whereas I didn’t, so therefore there wouldn’t be enough slots for me to get that kind of score. I got pissed each time they told me that, so they stopped. Also told me that they would be much harsher on me if I were a boy. Nowadays they let me find my own path and so whatever I want lol, they let me choose my uni course, so it’s pretty good  .

By the way what co-curricular do you guys do? Just asking out of pure interest 

parents HATE the idea of me doing extra curriculars which sucks
they just think I should sit at home and study all the time.
I asked a teacher of mine, if she believed students should do extracurriculars and she said yes (come on, all the teachers and even principal smiles at our participation in activities -.-) yet my parents are like "well I know better blah blah"
some of the extracurriculars don't even require a consent form and there's no teacher in charge, and then my parents start yelling at that.
seriously, I don't get how they can be like that?
if I don't care about my VCE then I don't care, you can't change that!
I can do what I want
plus all the top students at our school DO activities and such!
but my parents are just like "well they know how to manage their time"
oh please -_-
ffs I really don't care about my ATAR at this stage


..sorry for the rant!! It really makes me mad everytime  when I see people at my school having fun
but this year, I've snuck into a lot of things without their permission, I even joined the school musical by forging their signature and then my parents flipped and they didn't know I was attending rehearsals (I said I was studying LOL lame) until the week before, and my dad insisted that I pull out but then the teacher said I had to stay since there was only one of my role haha.
then my parents spoke to the coordinators...the coordinator had a word with me :/
I don't see how this is my fault when the school and teachers ENCOURAGE students to do something like this!
okay, I know I shouldn't have forged, but I still don't get why I shouldn't do it. In no way are they concerned for my safety (I know that, they admitted) - it's just cos they want me to get a good score
the musical was so much fun though!

so if I don't get 35 for both, I can't do ANYTHING next year
I'm 80% sure I won't even get a 30 so I will probs feel like dropping out of school tbh

sorry I wrote so much omg!
I sound like a depressing weirdo

btw, who's going to the AN meetup?

[DJA]

Bit of a headsup - I wrote you guys another guide for year 12 English! 

Hope it helps: DJA's guide for English Expression (Text response)

[Orb]

I actually think my parents are angels in comparison too  . They don’t have towering expectations of me or send me to those intense tutoring programs lol; in fact I put way more pressure on myself than they do to me. It’s just hard to please them because what they consider impressive is raw 50s (or near that) in English (preferably Literature), a science (preferable Chemistry because it’s the hardest), maths (including Spesh), a humanities, music performance and a language (especially if it’s a language totally different to their cultural background). As you can see they place an emphasis on being an all-rounder, as well as being really good at all those areas, which I think it great because some parents limit their definition of intelligence to areas their child is good in or maths/science stuff.  I guess the key is to not to disappoint them instead of trying to please them. They really only expected a raw 40 score in most of my subjects and a 38 in Spesh, which I don’t think is unreasonable, although they probably expect much higher now because they know what I’m aiming for. I just fear disappointing them and myself, as I don’t know how they’ll react.

My parents used a cane when I was younger whenever I got a bad grade or couldn’t answer a question, but that was only because one of my dad’s maths teachers in school used a cane in class to punish students who couldn’t answer a question as a result of not listening. I used to have to study in my dad’s room. Few months ago they told me to drop methods and spesh because I wasn’t doing any trial exams as they were 16 months away at the time. I remember when I told them I was aiming for 48+ in methods (based on school and trial exam results), 42+ in Spesh and 46+ in Engish they could me I couldn’t because all the people aiming to do medicine would get that kind of score because they needed it to get into their course whereas I didn’t, so therefore there wouldn’t be enough slots for me to get that kind of score. I got pissed each time they told me that, so they stopped. Also told me that they would be much harsher on me if I were a boy. Nowadays they let me find my own path and so whatever I want lol, they let me choose my uni course, so it’s pretty good  .

By the way what co-curricular do you guys do? Just asking out of pure interest 

Yeah, my parents encourage me to explore my options and they're not the kind of Asian parents that force me to go into Medicine/Law/Finance where all the Asians get pushed into. In reality, all they want is for me to do my best, it doesn't seem like much to ask but given how much I procrastinate I definitely haven't done the best I could prior to Term 3 this year haha.

As for co-curricular activities, I take part in a fair bit:
Debating, Public Speaking, Chess, Basketball, Table Tennis, Volunteering, etc
I love co-curricular activities because it's something that you get to choose to do, so in that sense it's significantly more enjoyable than studying and you feel more incentivised to do better and enjoy yourself while you're at it.

omg, can kinda feel.
honestly, I'm not gonna be sad if I don't get a 35+ (I will be sad if I can't get 20 though), but my parents will be.
I think I've said this before, it can't of makes me feel like I'm working for them instead of myself. Like there's so much pressure to do well. But really, I'm relaxed. Everyone at my school even thinks I am TOO relaxed

I remember when I was younger (early high school) or something I complained about my mum being too strict and then she told me about Amy Chua (her book is called The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother if you didn't know) and she was telling me about how strict she was to her children and then she was like "see? i'm not that strict after all, I should be stricter on you anyway"
but I think now they're not as strict seeing as I'm older, more freedom etc
parents HATE the idea of me doing extra curriculars which sucks
they just think I should sit at home and study all the time.
I asked a teacher of mine, if she believed students should do extracurriculars and she said yes (come on, all the teachers and even principal smiles at our participation in activities -.-) yet my parents are like "well I know better blah blah"
some of the extracurriculars don't even require a consent form and there's no teacher in charge, and then my parents start yelling at that.
seriously, I don't get how they can be like that?
if I don't care about my VCE then I don't care, you can't change that!
I can do what I want
plus all the top students at our school DO activities and such!
but my parents are just like "well they know how to manage their time"
oh please -_-
ffs I really don't care about my ATAR at this stage


..sorry for the rant!! It really makes me mad everytime  when I see people at my school having fun
but this year, I've snuck into a lot of things without their permission, I even joined the school musical by forging their signature and then my parents flipped and they didn't know I was attending rehearsals (I said I was studying LOL lame) until the week before, and my dad insisted that I pull out but then the teacher said I had to stay since there was only one of my role haha.
then my parents spoke to the coordinators...the coordinator had a word with me :/
I don't see how this is my fault when the school and teachers ENCOURAGE students to do something like this!
okay, I know I shouldn't have forged, but I still don't get why I shouldn't do it. In no way are they concerned for my safety (I know that, they admitted) - it's just cos they want me to get a good score
the musical was so much fun though!

so if I don't get 35 for both, I can't do ANYTHING next year
I'm 80% sure I won't even get a 30 so I will probs feel like dropping out of school tbh

sorry I wrote so much omg!
I sound like a depressing weirdo

btw, who's going to the AN meetup?

Don't worry, I think a rant actually does quite a bit to ease yourself out of that moody state you may have been in, simply because bottling anger/sadness up doesn't do you any good, and you can't exactly rant to your parents either because they'll just call you 'weak' (first hand experience).

From my perspective, the best thing you could probably do at this point is have a long conversation with your parents about your current perspective. Don't try to draw other students into it, because a common argument against that is just 'they're different from you' (that argument is practically irrefutable, and if you try to argue against it you'll only create a situation where it'll easily backfire), especially if your parents are like mine who came from China (harsh climates, harsh conditions, harsh daily life, etc) because their notion of hard work is on a completely different level to yours (in chinese, dai gou, you've probably heard of that during your gen convo haha). See how that goes, mine are quite understanding so we eventually arrived at a sort of mutual agreement

[appleandbee]

Yeah, my parents encourage me to explore my options and they're not the kind of Asian parents that force me to go into Medicine/Law/Finance where all the Asians get pushed into. In reality, all they want is for me to do my best, it doesn't seem like much to ask but given how much I procrastinate I definitely haven't done the best I could prior to Term 3 this year haha.

As for co-curricular activities, I take part in a fair bit:
Debating, Public Speaking, Chess, Basketball, Table Tennis, Volunteering, etc
I love co-curricular activities because it's something that you get to choose to do, so in that sense it's significantly more enjoyable than studying and you feel more incentivised to do better and enjoy yourself while you're at it.

Yeah during primary school and early high school (like year 7), I wasn't allowed to choose my co-curricular activities, so I only did music (cello and piano). Now I do Debating, public speaking, music (piano and cello), Badminton, Cross country, volunteering (I tutor students from disadvantage backgrounds and Rotary stuff). My dad actually encourages me to do co-curriculars, because although good academic grades are important, you can’t gain employment easily purely from that. 

[strawberries]

Yeah, my parents encourage me to explore my options and they're not the kind of Asian parents that force me to go into Medicine/Law/Finance where all the Asians get pushed into. In reality, all they want is for me to do my best, it doesn't seem like much to ask but given how much I procrastinate I definitely haven't done the best I could prior to Term 3 this year haha.

As for co-curricular activities, I take part in a fair bit:
Debating, Public Speaking, Chess, Basketball, Table Tennis, Volunteering, etc
I love co-curricular activities because it's something that you get to choose to do, so in that sense it's significantly more enjoyable than studying and you feel more incentivised to do better and enjoy yourself while you're at it.

Don't worry, I think a rant actually does quite a bit to ease yourself out of that moody state you may have been in, simply because bottling anger/sadness up doesn't do you any good, and you can't exactly rant to your parents either because they'll just call you 'weak' (first hand experience).

From my perspective, the best thing you could probably do at this point is have a long conversation with your parents about your current perspective. Don't try to draw other students into it, because a common argument against that is just 'they're different from you' (that argument is practically irrefutable, and if you try to argue against it you'll only create a situation where it'll easily backfire), especially if your parents are like mine who came from China (harsh climates, harsh conditions, harsh daily life, etc) because their notion of hard work is on a completely different level to yours (in chinese, dai gou, you've probably heard of that during your gen convo haha). See how that goes, mine are quite understanding so we eventually arrived at a sort of mutual agreement

Thank you, hopefully everything works out for me I guess
yeah my parents are from China and in my gen convo I remember practising saying "we didn't have any dai gou because we have similar hobbies and often talk together" #lies
I really don't know what to do.
Done so many things against their wishes this year, whereas my peers parents were fine :/
Like, they even bring in the fact I'm not talented at music ?
The school doesn't even care -.- they encourage it

So yeah, appleandbee, you asked, I have done:
Debating, Music, Drama and that's about it :/
not much haha but I've done quite a bit of Music!
Not that good at Debating though LOL but still managed to get in the team!

[brightsky]

Coming from an Asian background, I completely understand your situation. I think part of the issue is that a lot of Asian parents are under the impression that academic excellence is the only key to a good/successful life. Of course, it would be foolish to suggest that grades are not important. After all, almost all employers ask that you provide a copy of your academic transcript when deciding whether to employ you or not. With this mindset, and the hope that their children will have the best possible life, it is only natural for them to exhort their children to focus on their studies. However, what a lot of Asian parents don't realise is that grades are not all that employers look at. Time and time again, candidates with stellar grades have been rejected in favour of candidates with not-so-stellar grades who exhibit outstanding people skills. And the reason for this is not hard to comprehend: whether you end up working in a bank or in a clinic, you will inevitably be required to deal with people. It's great that a doctor knows the names of every single muscle in the human body, but if he can't interact with his patients well or is extremely disorganised, then chances are he will not make a good doctor. Leadership skills, communication skills, and teamwork skills. These are all skills that employers look for, in addition to grades, which cannot be developed simply by reading a textbook all day. Whilst I have the utmost respect for 'tiger parents', I cannot help but think that many of them have their priorities wrong. You only really need to look out in the school yard to observe the effects of this. I am generalising here, but from what I have observed, in general, Asian children tend to be more introverted and more easily manipulated than Caucasian children, a lot of whose parents encourage them to participate in the a range of extra-curricular activities from a young age, rather than insist that they study before engaging in any remotely social activities. I don't want to sound all dramatic or anything, but it might be a good idea to sit down with your parents some day, and talk about what their hopes for you are and whether their current directives are conducive to producing that outcome. For example, if you're parents are hoping that you become a doctor, then perhaps they should encourage you to do other things apart from studying, such as debating and whatnot, all of which represent wonderful opportunities to develop leadership and communication skills.

/endrant

[strawberries]

Coming from an Asian background, I completely understand your situation. I think part of the issue is that a lot of Asian parents are under the impression that academic excellence is the only key to a good/successful life. Of course, it would be foolish to suggest that grades are not important. After all, almost all employers ask that you provide a copy of your academic transcript when deciding whether to employ you or not. With this mindset, and the hope that their children will have the best possible life, it is only natural for them to exhort their children to focus on their studies. However, what a lot of Asian parents don't realise is that grades are not all that employers look at. Time and time again, candidates with stellar grades have been rejected in favour of candidates with not-so-stellar grades who exhibit outstanding people skills. And the reason for this is not hard to comprehend: whether you end up working in a bank or in a clinic, you will inevitably be required to deal with people. It's great that a doctor knows the names of every single muscle in the human body, but if he can't interact with his patients well or is extremely disorganised, then chances are he will not make a good doctor. Leadership skills, communication skills, and teamwork skills. These are all skills that employers look for, in addition to grades, which cannot be developed simply by reading a textbook all day. Whilst I have the utmost respect for 'tiger parents', I cannot help but think that many of them have their priorities wrong. You only really need to look out in the school yard to observe the effects of this. I am generalising here, but from what I have observed, in general, Asian children tend to be more introverted and more easily manipulated than Caucasian children, a lot of whose parents encourage them to participate in the a range of extra-curricular activities from a young age, rather than insist that they study before engaging in any remotely social activities. I don't want to sound all dramatic or anything, but it might be a good idea to sit down with your parents some day, and talk about what their hopes for you are and whether their current directives are conducive to producing that outcome. For example, if you're parents are hoping that you become a doctor, then perhaps they should encourage you to do other things apart from studying, such as debating and whatnot, all of which represent wonderful opportunities to develop leadership and communication skills.

/endrant

fair enough, thanks for this post
I'll just *hope* for good scores this year and *hope* for the best haha

they don't expect me to do med or anything, but they just want me to get SS's over 45 (LOL) ideally and get an ATAR of at least 98-ish.
I know, I'm the complete opposite of them. Like I want good scores, but my study habits haven't quite shown it (oops).
I'm not gonna 'kill' myself to get like a 99 or something.

omg I just don't know what to say I sound stupid

[cosine]

Strawberries:

You honestly cannot live to your parents expectations if you, yourself are not willing to achieve that 98 ATAR. No one can make you do anything, unless you are willing to accept and work for it. Your parents wanting you to get that ATAR is meaningless (in terms of pushing you to achieve it). Now, what I am saying is, ultimately, if YOU want to achieve that 98 ATAR, then YOU have to want it so bad that you will do anything for it!!!!

[strawberries]

Strawberries:

You honestly cannot live to your parents expectations if you, yourself are not willing to achieve that 98 ATAR. No one can make you do anything, unless you are willing to accept and work for it. Your parents wanting you to get that ATAR is meaningless (in terms of pushing you to achieve it). Now, what I am saying is, ultimately, if YOU want to achieve that 98 ATAR, then YOU have to want it so bad that you will do anything for it!!!!

yes you're right...
I keep saying this but it always feels like I'm doing this for them rather than myself :/
I will be happy with whatever ATAR I get if I put in my best effort in my subjects (basically I will be happy if I reached my potential, and get into the uni course I desire)

but yes, thank you

[nerdmmb]

This is a bit off topic but how are you guys planning to find out your results? I don't even know if I willl have the courage to go anywhere near my laptop on the 15th :|

[IndefatigableLover]

This is a bit off topic but how are you guys planning to find out your results? I don't even know if I willl have the courage to go anywhere near my laptop on the 15th :|

Well I don't really want anybody other than myself to tell me what my scores are so I'm not signing up for text message nor did I allow for my scores to be published in the newspaper if I got 40+ (stalking from relatives and from friends) so just my laptop on the 15th (hopefully it doesn't crash LOL)

And nerdmmb you should be totally fine Just use your grades as motivation for next year!

[appleandbee]

Well I don't really want anybody other than myself to tell me what my scores are so I'm not signing up for text message nor did I allow for my scores to be published in the newspaper if I got 40+ (stalking from relatives and from friends) so just my laptop on the 15th (hopefully it doesn't crash LOL)

And nerdmmb you should be totally fine Just use your grades as motivation for next year!

Didn’t consent to have my results published in the newspaper for the same reason lol. I’m not even sure whether I really want to see them 

[IndefatigableLover]

Didn’t consent to have my results published in the newspaper for the same reason lol. I’m not even sure whether I really want to see them 

Haha finally someone else who shares the same sentiments as I do! And well for me I know Methods was quite a poor subject for me this year so it won't be a shock if I see a bad score but I'll just look at it and use it as motivation to do even better for next year since one study score in Year 11 won't kill my ATAR (hopefully)..