Oral: "The VCE is not fair"

[vox nihili]

First of all, thanks so much for the advice!

1. I'll erase the scaling part - I was unsure of that part too. However, do you think the "perfect score" section fits with my argument?
2. I'll clear that up
3. Will definitely incorporate that in.. I had a feeling I needed more information there.
4. The reason I included Bosna was based purely on the fact I just came back from a holiday there. All my information was basically hearsay so I agree that it shouldn't be included. Yes I am aware - in my opinion the segregation is ridiculous (even if this is a little off topic :-P)

Really impressed with how humble you've been about all of the suggestions

1. it fits with your argument, it doesn't fit with your introduction. You could do a standalone speech about inequality in schools, or you can focus on how VCE is unfair in itself. Personally, I think you've got enough just to go for inequality in schools. Don't make it about VCE being unfair, make it about the system being unfair. Then your Hunger Games thing becomes perfect and it all sits nicely with your introduction.
3. It's not really about more information, it just gives you a really great opportunity to show off (and engage the audience). It brings an emotional element to the story and kicks up the rhetorical side of it.
4. There are aspects of the system that seem to work, but overall I don't think it does (though I have a friend who'd kill me for saying that hahaha). You're right, it is a bit bullshit. It was only meant to be temporary, but nobody can agree to changing it. Now the government just sits there and gets pissy with each other, because of the rotating presidency and the ethnic splits in the parliament. Jesi li iz Bosne?

[LastOfUs]

I take my hat off to you for originality. In doing so I haven't come here to critique it but I thought I'd just jump in here and tell you as soon as you've gathered all the critiques from people and modify your speech you should definitely delete and remove it from here - I was just sent this entire speech by my friend who said that his friend sent it to him at the beginning of the holidays and wanted me to read over it to critique it. As I'm usually skeptical, I quickly google searched a paragraph of the essay which found me here so I'm just letting you know! Although it doesn't effect you all that much as it is internal assessment, I wouldn't want someone taking my work and using it to their advantage without my consent!

[DJA]

Maybe your friend's friend is indeed the one and only Blondie21?

We often realize the world is a small world.

[vox nihili]

Maybe your friend's friend is indeed the one and only Blondie21?

We often realize the world is a small world.

God I hope you're right about that.

[LastOfUs]

Maybe your friend's friend is indeed the one and only Blondie21?

Just trust me in saying he's not.

[Blondie21]

Really impressed with how humble you've been about all of the suggestions

1. it fits with your argument, it doesn't fit with your introduction. You could do a standalone speech about inequality in schools, or you can focus on how VCE is unfair in itself. Personally, I think you've got enough just to go for inequality in schools. Don't make it about VCE being unfair, make it about the system being unfair. Then your Hunger Games thing becomes perfect and it all sits nicely with your introduction.
3. It's not really about more information, it just gives you a really great opportunity to show off (and engage the audience). It brings an emotional element to the story and kicks up the rhetorical side of it.
4. There are aspects of the system that seem to work, but overall I don't think it does (though I have a friend who'd kill me for saying that hahaha). You're right, it is a bit bullshit. It was only meant to be temporary, but nobody can agree to changing it. Now the government just sits there and gets pissy with each other, because of the rotating presidency and the ethnic splits in the parliament. Jesi li iz Bosne?

You're taking your time to help me out, it's the least that I can do!!

1. Oh okay, I had one question though.. what do you mean by "the system"?
4. I agree. The politics in Bosnian are, excuse my french, pretty  f***d up after the civil war (even before..). Bosnia is the only country of the three to have the ridiculous rotating presidency. While the government is achieving nothing, many citizens have hardly recovered from the war (20 years later) and are stillllll struggling financially.

Jesam, kako si znao? hahah.  Are you?

[Blondie21]

I take my hat off to you for originality. In doing so I haven't come here to critique it but I thought I'd just jump in here and tell you as soon as you've gathered all the critiques from people and modify your speech you should definitely delete and remove it from here - I was just sent this entire speech by my friend who said that his friend sent it to him at the beginning of the holidays and wanted me to read over it to critique it. As I'm usually skeptical, I quickly google searched a paragraph of the essay which found me here so I'm just letting you know! Although it doesn't effect you all that much as it is internal assessment, I wouldn't want someone taking my work and using it to their advantage without my consent!

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I'm deleting it now.. thanks.

[Blondie21]

How do I delete it?

When I click "remove" it comes up with:

"You cannot delete your own topics in this board. Check to make sure this topic wasn't just moved to another board."

[T-Infinite]

How do I delete it?

When I click "remove" it comes up with:

"You cannot delete your own topics in this board. Check to make sure this topic wasn't just moved to another board."

Have you tried "modify" and just remove all the paragraphs? You don't have to delete the whole thread, just edit

[Blondie21]

Have you tried "modify" and just remove all the paragraphs? You don't have to delete the whole thread, just edit

One of the moderators already have done this - thanks anyways



Oh well, I knew that everyone was able to see it so i'm the only one to blame Hopefully no one from my school has seen it though hahah (doubt they have)

[vox nihili]

One of the moderators already have done this - thanks anyways



Oh well, I knew that everyone was able to see it so i'm the only one to blame Hopefully no one from my school has seen it though hahah (doubt they have)

I've PMed you instead, just in case. Not that I really give a shit whether people look at my stuff, but you may if it's related to your speech!

[Tyleralp1]

It was a great speech.

Shame I won't get to read it again.

All the best!!