I'm not in VCE but I'm looking for advice on my speech analysis I wrote earlier this year. I received full marks from my teacher but I'm not satisfied because I know there's something that I can improve on in there. I'll just copy and paste it in here unless someone has a better idea
(My speech was on "I Have a Dream" but Martin Luther King Jr.
Marking criteria included: Recognition of persuasive techniques in the speech, Ability to discuss effects of persuasive techniques, Acknowledgement of contextual factors in the speech and Clear and cohesive writing.WRITING STARTS HERE
The I Have Dream Speech, given by the leader of the African-American Civil Rights Movement Martin Luther King Jr. in 1963, was delivered to over 250,000 civil rights supporters (mostly African-American) from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C during the “March on Washington”. The speech was talking about the injustices of segregation and discrimination of African Americans in The United States. The speech was given 100 years after the Emancipation Proclamation was signed which was the end of slavery but the start of discrimination towards African Americans.
In the “I Have a Dream Speech”, King starts off by exactly telling us what he is here to do which is to fight for freedom and race equality in the United States by stating that this is “the greatest demonstration of freedom in the history of our nation.” King then talks about 100 years after Abraham Lincoln signs the Emancipation Proclamation how the “Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination.” and the "the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity.” Through his use emotive language he reminds the white Americans how badly they treated the African-Americans and makes them realise the plight of the African-Americans. By realising the difficulties of African-Americans, he will fight for them and for what is fair.
He then talks about the Declaration of Independence which was supposed to guarantee the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." for African-Americans. He appeals to the African-American’s sense of justice and fairness by reminding them that they have been robbed of fairness and equality and lied to by the American Government which ignites anger and frustration inside of African-Americans. King then begins a series of statements beginning with ‘we refuse to believe’ such as “we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt” and “We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation.” These statements show that African-Americans believe that there is more than just empty promises the white-Americans have been telling them, this also shows us that African-Americans will not back down until they are given equal rights and treated with fairness.
Through the use of inclusive language, King involves the audience in the fight for racial quality and fairness. He uses the words ‘we’ and ‘our’ in the phrases such as “lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.” and “We cannot walk alone.” He creates a feeling that the audience can contribute to the fight and that they cannot do it on their own, he also talks about racial injustice like it affects the whole nation not just African-Americans.
Near the final moments of his speech, King uses a series of phrases starting with “I have a dream…” such as “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed.” Through these powerful sentences he articulates and emphasises what he was fighting for (racial quality and fairness) and he leaves the audience with a sense of hope that they can have equal rights and justice.
END OF WRITING
All feedback is appreciated! Thanks!
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