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EspoirTron

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Section C: Language Analysis advice
« on: October 20, 2014, 08:00:51 pm »
+10
Hey guys, I scored 19/20 on the Language Analysis component of the exam last year and here's what I did generally, so I hope that it helps you guys.

Reading time:
-Use this time to have a quick glance at the other sections. I spent this time to decide my prompt for Section A and some ideas for Section B, spending no longer than 5 minutes.
-The next 10 minutes of your time you should ideally dedicate to breaking the Section C article down. What I did was, I read it once in a few minutes to get a feel for it, and then had a second read to break it down.
-How did I break it down? Basically VCAA wants you to do well TOO! Okay, so let's no be so pessimistic straight up. They'll give you articles that you can divide into 3-4 distinct arguments (see how this forms how many body paragraphs students generally write?). So do this reading time and just make a mental note at where the new argument begins.
-Identify tone, inclusive and exclusive language. If you want to show you're a student of higher caliber identifying uses of words like 'we' and 'I' which are used by the writer, can really bolster the strength of your piece. Look out for them.

How to write your analysis:
Introduction;
-By this point you're either writing 3 or 4 paragraphs, I wrote 4 body paragraphs personally, but it doesn't matter and it helped because I wrote really short conclusions. What matters is the quality of your content.
-In your introduction address these points: address the writer's contention, the form of the piece, the intended audience, tone (note there are several tones and not just one, discuss as many as you can!!!) and background information. (If you guys want I can throw in a sample introduction from an essay I wrote in 57 minutes which included planning and analysis, just leave a comment).

Body paragraphs;
-So you've already split your argument up, great! Not it comes time to the real stuff.
-One short topic sentence introducing the argument you're talking about
-Here comes your analysis part! Write about how the target audience is likely to FEEL and REACT. Use powerful language and don't be shy, write thing like 'Her adaptation of a rather humorous tone when she..... serves to amuse her audience and reassure them that she is not cynical'. See how this addresses how the audience will feel, react and I've managed to address tone in a concise sentence - aim for this!
-You don't have to finish with a linking sentence, just make sure it provides closure to the argument.
-You may have separated the arguments, but they're all related! Make even short references to each of them in the paragraph to really show the examiner you've got the holistic view of the piece that they want.
-Try to address the image at least once or twice in at least two bodies, and a few sentences. Don't talk about it in isolation. Observe it's tone and see which argument it fits with, complement it with that, perhaps by saying 'This bitter plea is complemented by the earnest image of 'X' which elicits great [emotion] from readers [be specific with the reader group]'. Or if the image is a contrast you may say 'This is earnestly juxtaposed against by the image which shows.... and elicits blah'. 

Conclusion;
-Not much I can say but be short and sweet. Here is one from a 9/10 essay of mine which was written in August (from the 2012 exam).
'Mrs Elliot's presentation for Reading: the future, evokes the audience's value for hard-copy tests. Her ability to juxtapose both the e-books benefits and disadvantages serves to highlight its ability to revolutionize reading. However, she warns her audience to not be seduced into relying on this form of technology, and this forms the crux of her argument'.
-Short and sweet
-Address tone one more time to bring the message home
-I always ended every conclusion with 'and this forms the crux of X's argument'


Some general lines I used to stimulate ideas:
-I used these sentences as a kind of way to give me a basis for every essay and it helped me rely on something. It's not rote-learning, it's learning to play your strengths and improving what has worked in the past, these sentences combined tone, effect and so much more in one:
-'This alliterative rhythm sets the pieces X and Y tone, which serves to elicit great [emotion] from [reader's - be specific, who are the readers? Parents, students, who?]
-Conscious of not wanting to sound biased.....
-The audience is inclined to feel a bitter aversion to....
-Reverting to their original plea....
-X makes no apology of [his or hers] criticism of...in their opinion piece 'XXXXXXXYYY'....
-This earnest juxtaposition of X's blunt, satirical nature and outraged protest establishes a contrast which helps broaden the target audience.


Leave any questions you have here. I also scored 17/20 for Text Response so if there are any questions about that, feel free to leave them here. I will be answering as much as I can until the exam :)
By the way, I spoke about breaking down the article into pieces. If you're having trouble visualizing how I did that, I can upload a visual of how I did it. It's all about highlighters, so feel free to tell me to do so!
« Last Edit: October 20, 2014, 08:04:35 pm by EspoirTron »
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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2014, 08:07:55 pm »
0
Much appreciated it if you left an example of your introduction! And i was looking through things and i saw your sample essay on the war poems for Section A, once again, any tips/advice for text response would be great! especially on the war poems as many other texts have a plethora of resources.
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AmericanBeauty

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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2014, 08:08:31 pm »
0
Hey guys, I scored 19/20 on the Language Analysis component of the exam last year and here's what I did generally, so I hope that it helps you guys.

Hey,

I made a thread for it but seeing as you did well, do you mind reading my first-ish Language Analysis attempt (I'll be spamming lots over the next few days) and give me feedback on it? I think with a bit of practice I could get really good at it but I just need to find my groove and be pushed in the right direction. If you don't have the time I understand completely!

Thanks!

EspoirTron

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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2014, 09:15:04 pm »
+1
Much appreciated it if you left an example of your introduction! And i was looking through things and i saw your sample essay on the war poems for Section A, once again, any tips/advice for text response would be great! especially on the war poems as many other texts have a plethora of resources.

Hey! I will have an introduction up by later this evening and I'll share similar tips for Text Response around tomorrow evening once again :)
I will also try to dig up some typed essays that scored fairly well and put them up on here!

Hey,

I made a thread for it but seeing as you did well, do you mind reading my first-ish Language Analysis attempt (I'll be spamming lots over the next few days) and give me feedback on it? I think with a bit of practice I could get really good at it but I just need to find my groove and be pushed in the right direction. If you don't have the time I understand completely!

Thanks!



Yeah sure, I'll give it a read tonight and send you some feedback!
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EspoirTron

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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2014, 08:16:18 pm »
+3
Language Analysis Engage Education – (The article is located in this link at the bottom - http://engageeducation.org.au/engagedownloads/Practice%20Exams/2014/English/Practice%20Exam.pdf)

A Good Apple Rotten at the Core

David Bradlow performed his speech ‘A Good Apple, Rotten at the Core’ at a Public Speaking Competition called ‘Social Fury’, designed to encourage (encourage? Use something more powerful like urges) VCE students to prepare a speech or listen to their peers. Bradlow utilised a concoction of tones throughout his speech, varying from humourous, condemning and sadness to express his point of view that Apple products are a global hazard (this sounds a bit awkward in terms of tone), and members of society whom influx( again, a bit awkward, something like ‘who unconsciously’ sounds better since it shows you’re understanding that the writer views them as essentially mindless zombies to purchase the product) are encouraging Apple to take advantage of the poor.

In terms of introduction:
•   You’ve got some key points needed like tone
•   Not enough emphasis on Audience, emphasise why the Audience is there?
•   You’ve addressed the issue at heart, which is good
•   A key weakpoint, not enough powerful language that immediately drew me in as a reader.
•   A more powerful opening would be:
o   David Bradlow, a X (whatever his profession), makes no apology for his criticism of technology giant Apple and their contribution to a ‘include a quote from the article’ in his speech for a Public Speaking Competition.
o   Rough, but some ideas.
•   You need to be specific with tone and give me direct quotes, for example: His initial humorous and satirical tone as he highlights ‘insert quote’ is complemented by a fervent dismay as he emphasizes Apples ability to worsen socioeconomic dichotomies.    
•   Where is a brief mention of the image? Write something at the end for it.

Bradlow begins his speech utilizing humor by opening his speech with have you ever ‘forgotten your phone’ before, stating that he has and rushes to the bathroom to ‘hyperventilate.’ (power, use more powerful language, you’re got the bare bones here, but if you want to woo your examiner start with something like ‘Bradlow immediately aligns himself with the latter younger generation as he humorously reminds the, about ‘forgertt[ing] their phone’)With an effect of immediacy (this sounds a bit awkward, pick another word), members of the audience would feel a sense of rapport with the Bradlow in agreeing about this common issue. Bradlow expresses the universal dependence on phones where he says ‘God forbid I look outside to check the weather,’ inviting the audience to laugh with him about this prevalent struggle (good work here :) ). Bradlow says he owns a ‘dyslexic antique,’ which is laced with the underlying statement that all phones that aren’t ‘super hybrid-technology(iPhones)’ should be on ‘life support,’ further engaging the audience to proactively listen to the speaker (okay, excellent use of quotes but use more powerful language once again). Bradlow then issues a solution – ‘why don’t I just buy an iPhone,’ allowing the audience members who would probably have an iPhone in their ‘pocket right now’ to feel a sense of pride in their ownership of their iPhones. Adhering to the upcoming ‘release of the iPhone 5,’ Bradlow states that it will ‘trigger another Apple tidal wave,’ creating a metaphor for the audience that is loaded with negative connotation, forcing the reader to reevaluate the purchasing of an iPhone 5 due to the destruction it brings (pretty good here but I would have started off with ‘In an adroit ploy Bradlow prevents a solution that would seem nonsensical to reject……but then juxtaposes this against….which causes keen technology users to reevaluate their decisions).

In arguing that the creation of the iPhone is a detriment to society, Bradlow engages the audience by telling a story about the ‘life cycle of the iPhone,’ appealing to the audience through general interest. The speaker unifies the audience by saying ’In 2011, 72,300,000 people purchased an iPhone’ providing a vivid picture for the audience of the masses that hold this piece of technology and aid in degradation of the planet. Bradlow shifts his tone to an aggravated, accusing tone as he begins to tell the ‘story’ of the ‘iPhone.’ (this is good) Bradlow positions the audience like a fly on a wall to adhere (I don’t get this?) to the ‘challenges’ of the ‘Democratic Republic of Congo,’ forcing the reader to listen and sympathise with the ethnicity. Bradlow states that Apple initiate ‘mining’ in ‘the world’s Coltan reserves’ in Congo, ‘trigger[ing] guerrilla warfare,’ provoking the audience to widen their eyes and change their opinion on the highly praised piece of technology. Bradley creates context (I don’t think this is the best thing to say ‘creates context’ sounds awkward and out of place) when he says ‘Steve Jobs built his empire’ and that ‘man was a creature of mercenary self-interest’ infuriating (infuriating and sadness, I think maybe a better choice would be, this succinct description serves not only to bolster the audience’s disdain for Apple but simultaneously elicits disdain from tech-savvy VCE students)  the audience to express sadness and take action for social equality and justice in Congo. Bradley incorporates an image on the opening slide of his PowerPoint of the Apple Logo filled out by modern buildings, juxtaposing the massive (substantial) differences between the warfare encapsulated  Congo and the economic-thriving Apple, alluding to the title of the speech ‘A Good Apple, Rotten at the Core.’ Bradley’s incorporation of this image allows the audience to bear witness to the ‘profit-motivated company[‘s]’ vision whilst taking advantage of those helpless around the world (good use of image here).

Bradlow employs a microscope  (perhaps, Bradley’s disdain sets in rigorous analysis he conducts as he investigates actions in China) over China where ‘Apples processing plants are,’ and attempts to make it well known as to ‘what is happening in China,’ inviting the interest of the audience. Bradlow’s utilization of evidence in saying that ’43.2% of their state rivers are classified as unsuitable for human contact’ and ‘the pollution in China is so toxic it kills over 750,000 citizens every year,’ provides the audience with raw facts (not raw facts but statistics) of the detriment Apple is in China, saddening the audience and forcing them to rethink whether Apple is a ‘moral hazard.’ Bradlow furthers into the individual lives of ‘Foxconn Employees (those who manufacture iPhones)’ who ‘produce $17,910 worth of iPhones .. every minute,’ ’11 times the amount a Foxconn employee makes every year,’ leading to ‘eighteen Foxconn workers attempt[ing] suicide.’ (too many quotes in one sentence and seems very forced and is not very coherent here) Whilst Bradlow vehemently condemns the mistreatment of Foxconn workers, the audience would be infuriated and feel obligated to take action to create a change for equality (good work). These ‘hidden truths of an iPhone’s lifecycle’ force the reader to compare the ‘loss of human life for the sake of a phone,’ ridiculing the audience, striking change in their behaviour and attitudes towards encouraging Apple to ‘be sitting on a glacial sum of money’ by exploiting workers, forcing them to question their own conduct (again, good work here :) ).

Bradley argues that ‘customer loyalty’ in Americans in needing the ‘latest technology’ is creating ‘moral hazards’ of owning an iPhone. Bradley states(does he just state? Or was there some force behind it? What was the emotion involved? Tell me!) that ‘whenever apple releases a new product,’ society will feel the need to go and purchase a new iPhone. This creates an identity in the audience, being able to say whether or not they are apart of this reckless group, polarizing the au dience (I’m not sure what this means, perhaps rethink this sentence through). Among the ‘steady stream of new iPhones appearing,’ Bradley connotes that ’36,750,000 iPhones’ were ‘discarded’ to become ‘waste.’ This invites the reader to realize the mass atrocities that exist as a result of brand loyalty, becoming a major disadvantage to society, and the simple language use of discarded is implying to the audience that this is negative behaviour. Bradley adheres to the negative consequences of this comportment  in saying due to iPhones becoming ‘waste product’ (this stuff forms a really great analysis) after the expiration of each iPhone generation, ‘pregnant women [in Guiyi] are six times more likely to miscarry,’(this quote looks a bit forced) forcing the audience to adhere to the devastation that is caused in the lives of the unheard, creating shock value and forcing a change in behaviour.

Bradley condemns Apple for lying to the members of the audience – that the latest ‘miracle of technology was born from the loaded guns of Congo,’ creating a sense of realization about the presence of warfare in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Bradley condemns Apple for their encouraging of the ‘toxic smog of China,’ ‘corner cutting’ and exploitation of ‘cheap labour’ just for their simple ‘moral sacrifice.’ This invites the audience to unify in vilifying Apple for their ‘shameful irresponsibility’ and ‘environmental negligence,’ causing the audience to reevaluate whether they will buy an Apple product ever again. Towards the end of the speech, Bradley exhibits a tonal change to humourous again (don’t be so explicit with how tone changes, let the sentence flow, maybe something like ‘Adopting a rather humorous tone…’), telling the audience to ‘peer into your own reflection on the super sharp screen’ and ‘ask Siri where she really comes from.’ Such an ending effectively persuades (PLEASE DO NOT SAY THIS!)the audience of Bradley’s contention, and the humourous remark has a simple ring to it that would stick with the audience, allowing them to further rethink the harm of Apple after the conclusion of Bradley’s speech. (This paragraph was good but felt unnecessary and seemed like a repeat of what you had said. You could have added more chunk to your other bodies by incorporating those quotes there, instead of making a new paragraph)

Bradley utilizes a number of different tones and techniques to condemn the operation of Apple. Bradley effectively persuades the audience in exemplifying the detrimental effects of the iPhone proliferation, and invites the audience to rethink their purchase of the ‘iPhone 5 in the next few months.’ (Short, sharp and sweet)

•   Time: 46 minutes on the computer.

What went well:
-   Heaps of use of quotes, which for the main part where pretty well placed
-   You definitely have a lot of words and depth
-   You tend to have some really good analysis
What you need to improve on:
-   Greater focus on the image
-   More powerful language and introduction
Also you need to write less in the exam so be wise with time! I’d give this essay a 6/10
« Last Edit: October 21, 2014, 08:18:27 pm by EspoirTron »
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EspoirTron

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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2014, 08:25:36 pm »
+1
Hey guys here is a sample section C introduction from an essay of mine, Section A advice will be up by tomorrow evening at the latest!

Jeff Atwood does not hide his bias of being a computer programmer as he declarers his distaste of 'penny auctions' in his blog post 'Penny Auctions: They're Gambling' for the website, 'codinghorror.com' He uses this opportunity to address fellow computer programmers and enthusiasts and to reveal that sites such as 'swoopo' are simply a form of 'thinly veiled gambling' , albeit the 'perfect evil'. His initial direct and forthright tone, as he accentuates the interior evils of such a website, is complemented by a more measured and assertive approach as he urges readers to negate the use of 'penny auction' sites. The earnest juxtaposition of his forthright concerns and the array of opinions cast in 'comments' establishes a contrast which helps broaden the target audience. 
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AmericanBeauty

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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2014, 08:46:31 pm »
0
6/10[/color]

Wow. Thank you for all that!!! I appreciate it so much! This really gave me some direction and you don't understand how full of gratitude I am for you taking your time out to help me. With regards to powerful language, do you mean just kind of being synonymous with words, transferring words like 'uses' to 'employs' with regards to the verby 'doing-words?' Also, can you be colloquial, being like 'Bradlow urges the audience to 'stop buying iPhones' or it will result in a moral bloodbath' or something along those lines? Also, with incorporating these powerful words and allowing more fluency throughout my structure, incorporate more accurate and regular tones, fix my introduction and increase the analysis of image, would this severely elevate my marks? I feel if I do one each day and get it marked by someone I could be up in the 8 league!

I wrote another Language Analysis today and I'm going to assume preempted your feedback (or I hope so :P). Do you mind taking a look through it and telling me if I'm making the same mistakes or if i've improved and maybe a score x/10? Definitely don't need to go in as much depth as you did then with this one, this is just to see if I'm tracking well xD 7 days left!!

EDIT: The Speedy guy reminded me, so I'll just say it as well. Aren't you not meant to use quotes in introductions?
EDIT: Don't bother reading this language analysis one. ill make a new comment as I wrote another LA practice essay today by hand taking on board all of your comments and I think it went well!
« Last Edit: October 22, 2014, 12:05:21 pm by AmericanBeauty »

Yacoubb

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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #7 on: October 21, 2014, 08:49:14 pm »
0
Could you perhaps read my language analysis on the submission thread? It would be much appreciated!! It's the most recent one in YACOUB's submission thread :) thanks!

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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #8 on: October 21, 2014, 09:17:26 pm »
0
Hey guys here is a sample section C introduction from an essay of mine, Section A advice will be up by tomorrow evening at the latest!

Jeff Atwood does not hide his bias of being a computer programmer as he declarers his distaste of 'penny auctions' in his blog post 'Penny Auctions: They're Gambling' for the website, 'codinghorror.com' He uses this opportunity to address fellow computer programmers and enthusiasts and to reveal that sites such as 'swoopo' are simply a form of 'thinly veiled gambling' , albeit the 'perfect evil'. His initial direct and forthright tone, as he accentuates the interior evils of such a website, is complemented by a more measured and assertive approach as he urges readers to negate the use of 'penny auction' sites. The earnest juxtaposition of his forthright concerns and the array of opinions cast in 'comments' establishes a contrast which helps broaden the target audience. 

Interesting, I rarely see quotes being used in an introduction - however the purpose here is not to analyse them, but to integrate evidence to back up what you're saying is his contention/purpose?
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AmericanBeauty

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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #9 on: October 22, 2014, 12:06:08 pm »
0
2012 VCAA Language Analysis Practice Essay (one of the visuals was missing so I couldn't analyse it)

Mrs. Elliott's contention refuses to be unheard of when she identifies the negative manifestations that have found itself into the new e-book technology, eliciting denigration to the 'extremely precious' books throughout the world, and evokes the idea of literature principles becoming ingrained into the new e-book technology. Mrs. Elliott contends her argument at the opening of 'Reading the Future' in a controlled, albeit distasteful tone that has accentuated from the misuse of literature in e-books, complemented by a lacing of passion. The audience members include teachers, librarians and senior school students from local schools who exhibit an interest in reading and/or literacy-related activities, seeking to ignite an expansion of knowledge from the forum. Mrs Elliott incorporates a sardonic cartoon that parallels the digital world of e-books that 'disappear in a puff of smoke,' mocking the digital form through elucidating the bitter juxtaposition between the two.

Mrs. Elliott immediately aligns herself with her audience members by inviting them into the nostalgic experience of when she was ‘a teenager,’ imposing solid rapport between Mrs Elliott and the audience by allowing the audience to gleefully open their ears to engage with the anecdote. The commencement of the reminiscing story transports the audience to an era into the ‘15th century’ whereby books were ‘only [for] the rich.’ The audience would feel encapsulated by their own greed by appealing to the equality among generations, forcing them to reevaluate their neglect for ‘genuine reading’ that they may pursue. Mrs. Elliot’s ‘enthusiastic’ fascination with books soon succumbs to her vehemently condemning the ‘idea of a child consuming something already imagined’ in an e-book, laced with negative connotation, evoking the question of social responsibility among all the teachers, librarians and senior school students, causing them to consider the second hand opinion that has been imposed. Mrs. Elliott proceeds to subliminally attack her audience who have ‘endless exposure to screens’ who then feel the need ‘to spend hours using e-books at school.’ The negative connotations of ‘endless’ being an extricable linked with ‘hours’ advances shock value for the audience whilst generating imagery, realizing they have metaphorically drowned themselves in technology, soon to become claustrophobics to the real world, inciting fear amongst audience members.

Mrs. Elliott initiated a passionate, ‘loverbird-like’ tone when she supposes that ‘one of the things I love about reading is the [about] ‘the magical … impossible or unreal’ principles of reading that liven you as a person, typifying happy thoughts from the audience to reconsider reading proper literature rather than ‘computer generated images of dinosaurs,’ which in itself aims to question the motivation of the audience. But Mrs. Elliott criticizes the operation of e-book as they can ‘disappear in a puff of smoke’ ‘recalled by the publishes and software owners,’ substantiating judgments of theft from the audience members that may have not been present prior. The accompanying visual of the cartoon aims to portray an analogous world occupied between the little indifference between the physical world adopting the business model of e-books whereby the reader only has ‘a good six months before it vanishes.’ The image created augments the delusion of those within the e-book community, visually constructed to emphasise the identifiable smiles of victims being robbed by e-book developers and distributors. This not only would infuriate the audience to realize they are being attacked by Elliott through their own rationale and sense of stupidity, but the vibe of the audience would also feel as though they are being attacked by the e-book companies, leaving them vulnerable to persuasion. To supplement on this point, Mrs. Elliott appeals to the sense of accountability of society in saying ‘book-lovers [have been made] to build huge warehouses to preserve bound books,’ inciting images of a dying breed to a genocidal, literacy cleansing maniac at the forefront of society, bemusing the audience with the uttermost disgust.

Mrs. Elliott doesn’t deny that she ‘can’t stop the coming of e-books’ and that she ‘wouldn’t stop it’ but protests that for those of ‘us who care about reading’ are about to experience a ‘revolution’ of ‘important things … [being] swept away,’ incorporating the underlying tones of love and passion whilst stoking fear amongst the audience, as knowledge and education will soon become elusive. The images of revolution assembles the gore-y bloodbath that will proceed to follow as ‘knowledge and education’ become scarce, verifying that the intelligence of humanity is at stake, imposing a call to action among the audience members. Mrs. Elliott then mocks society by saying she is ‘starting to sound a bit like a dinosaur myself, aren’t I?’ attacking the morality of the audience who treat reading literature books like a damaged fossil, causing them to change their behaviour to reduce the number of causalities to both books and their morality. Mrs. Elliott shares the memory of reading a ‘Harry Potter story on a long and unpleasant flight,’ facilitating her need for ‘passengers, earth below [to] instantly cease to exist,’ allowing the audience to determine whether books can help them theoretically escape their problems, laced with the tones (or vibe lol) of invitation and enjoinment. Mrs. Elliott appears to be so invested in allowing the proliferation of knowledge of literature that she ‘left the book (Harry Potter) in a red telephone box for anyone passing by … to read it,’ sparking the thoughts of an enticing proactive approach to deal with the issue imposed to the audience.  Elliott then enriches her argument by juxtaposing the non-existent ‘lending and sharing’ of e-books, and that you are ‘couldn’t resell them,’ diluting all positivity in the audience who suddenly realize they have participating in purchasing products in an inferior form, encouraging the audience members to purchase the supreme hard-back. Elliott’s recognition in that she does not want ‘expensive, energy-hungry e-reading devices’ to make ‘people ignorant,’ speculating the detrimental effects of e-book usage. On the ‘virtual shelf’ that e-books are situated, the e-readers are ‘experiencing’ rather than ‘passively consuming’ the knowledge of literature, and that e-books are not for people who ‘care about reading,’ inviting the audience members to see the cessation of their own e-books due to the ‘fear of loss, knowledge, history and even culture’ that Elliott has provoked the audience to consider.

Mrs. Elliott demonstrates her speech through the utilization of a number of varying arguments that supplement her contention that the ‘modern wizardry’ of e-books signify the loss of true literacy and knowledge. Whilst expressing this point of view, she contends through a concoction of tones from passionate to distasteful and fearful, empowering her words into individual audience members for their validation.

•   3 ½ pages.
•   1 hour, 15 seconds longhand
« Last Edit: October 22, 2014, 12:09:10 pm by AmericanBeauty »

EspoirTron

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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #10 on: October 22, 2014, 09:20:00 pm »
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Hey guys I will get around to reading your essays soon, I'll have feedback by tomorrow evening for you all (including the people that pm'd me)

Interesting, I rarely see quotes being used in an introduction - however the purpose here is not to analyse them, but to integrate evidence to back up what you're saying is his contention/purpose?

Yep, you're exactly right. It shows the assessor you're tackling that article head on, immediately and not just giving some generic, rote-learned introduction.
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speedy

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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #11 on: October 22, 2014, 11:08:48 pm »
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Yep, you're exactly right. It shows the assessor you're tackling that article head on, immediately and not just giving some generic, rote-learned introduction.

I really like it! Also thanks for this great guide, keep it up :D
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Jesse C

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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #12 on: October 25, 2014, 02:15:06 pm »
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How do you link your paragraphs? I write each paragraph about a specific argument, point or audience, but I have no clue on how to make the transitions flow. Should I be introducing the new argument etc or talking about how it relates to the previous one?

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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #13 on: October 26, 2014, 07:47:34 pm »
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Hey lads,

Do we need to underline the name of the article or speech in language analysis?

And if it is at a forum or convention, and we are given its name, do we need to underline it?

EspoirTron

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Re: Section C: Language Analysis advice
« Reply #14 on: October 27, 2014, 08:00:35 pm »
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Hey guys, sorry my replies are so delayed, I myself have been studying for uni exams. I'll be replying to all messages now and offering some feedback.

How do you link your paragraphs? I write each paragraph about a specific argument, point or audience, but I have no clue on how to make the transitions flow. Should I be introducing the new argument etc or talking about how it relates to the previous one?

Yep, remember that you want a holistic view! Starting new paragraphs with 'Further, Furthermore, In Addition and Complementary to this' are all ways to show some linking between arguments.

Hey lads,

Do we need to underline the name of the article or speech in language analysis?

And if it is at a forum or convention, and we are given its name, do we need to underline it?

No need to underline but '' marks are what you need.
2012-2013: VCE
2014-2016: Bachelor of Biomedicine at Monash University