How to deal with overly insane, results oriented parents

[lifeunder]

Hey guys,

I'm moving into year 12 2015 and ever since results day, I've been shattered (by parents).

In my 3/4 year 11 subject (only one this year) I received a study score of 49 (methods) and ever since my parents have been constantly grilling me about why I didn't get a 50 if I've worked as hard as I said. I keep trying to explain how there's minimal difference but they're of the opinion that 49s are shit and 50 is the only okay score.

Being as overly results oriented as they are, they don't think I'm working hard enough as it is
(Studying for over 6 hours a day yet they find anything less than the period mum works is unacceptable.) I can't find a single way to stop the nagging until resultd from sacs but that's ages away.

Any tips on how to deal with these types of parents would be greatly appreciated!!

[psyxwar]

Something I think you might want to do is to show them ATARCalc, and how you don't need 50 in everything to even get 99.95, the highest possible ATAR. You don't even need 49 in everything. These kinds of parents are hard to deal with, but hopefully this gives them some perspective on the matter. And yeah, like you said 49 vs 50 is like a mark on the exam and there's functionally no difference anyway factoring in scaling. You can try explaining how the study score system works, but I'm not sure if they'd be that receptive to that.

[lifeunder]

My parents don't believe atarcalc in general.  They're old fashioned and think that the only way you can get 99.95 is if everything is a 50..
They're thinking of making me redo methods so I can get a 50 in it although I think it's pretty pointless..

Thanks for the tip though

[SE_JM]

Yeah, I think I know what you're going through.
No matter how much you try, they never get satisfied, do they?
Just try and ignore them. After all, it's your life, and if you are satisfied with your score, then that's what's really worth it.
They are sometimes really difficult to deal with but don't let them inside your head. After all, you did good (really great, actually)and that's what matters. Never think that you should try harder (studying 6 hrs a day is already intense, if you study more otherwise you'll wreak your health!) and don't think there is something wrong with you for not getting that 50 (I used to blame myself so hard in the past for bad marks. Yeah, sometimes I deserved it but definitely not in your case). After all, getting 49 or 50 is just a matter of a little chance (at least, that's what I heard, anyway)

Just don't let them inside your head. Try not get stressed.
And take care; studying too much sometimes does my head in. lol

[SE_JM]

Also, try and persuade them that getting a high ATAR is not the MOST important thing in your life. I guessing your parents wants you to pursue medicine in Melbourne uni, show them the clearly in rank (which is about 98. something) and tell them getting 99.95 is not the life goal. Happiness and health is.

[pi]

Also, try and persuade them that getting a high ATAR is not the MOST important thing in your life. I guessing your parents wants you to pursue medicine in Melbourne uni, show them the clearly in rank (which is about 98. something) and tell them getting 99.95 is not the life goal. Happiness and health is.

Medicine (MD) at UoM is a graduate-entry course and hence does not have a clearly-in score. The only guarantee of getting a CSP place for a school-leaver is by getting 99.90 or 99.95.

[SE_JM]

Medicine (MD) at UoM is a graduate-entry course and hence does not have a clearly-in score. The only guarantee of getting a CSP place for a school-leaver is by getting 99.90 or 99.95.

Oh really? Sorry about that.

[de]

In my 3/4 year 11 subject (only one this year) I received a study score of 49 (methods) and ever since my parents have been constantly grilling me about why I didn't get a 50 if I've worked as hard as I said. I keep trying to explain how there's minimal difference but they're of the opinion that 49s are shit and 50 is the only okay score.

Wow... I am amazed.

As others have said, 49, 50 is just luck. 48 even. Plus with scaling there's almost no difference, particularly this year.

FYI I know people much (this is an understatement) better at maths than me with lower methods scores.

[~V]

Wow... I am amazed.

As others have said, 49, 50 is just luck. 48 even. Plus with scaling there's almost no difference, particularly this year.

FYI I know people much (this is an understatement) better at maths than me with lower methods scores.

A person with a 49 SS is no less knowledgeable than someone with a 50 SS, could just come down to a silly mistake in one of the methods exams or perhaps sac scaling/ranking. Studying is quality>quantity. I'm sensing these are typical asian parents?

[lifeunder]

Thanks for the help y'all

Also, try and persuade them that getting a high ATAR is not the MOST important thing in your life. I guessing your parents wants you to pursue medicine in Melbourne uni, show them the clearly in rank (which is about 98. something) and tell them getting 99.95 is not the life goal. Happiness and health is.

No I'm not really thinking of med, more so actuarial studies hence why more of an emphasis on maths

Wow... I am amazed.

As others have said, 49, 50 is just luck. 48 even. Plus with scaling there's almost no difference, particularly this year.

FYI I know people much (this is an understatement) better at maths than me with lower methods scores.

Parents think scaling is a redundant excuse unfortunately :/ in their eyes scaled 50 is never as good as a raw 50 (plenty of friends got raw 50s)


Does anyone know any persuasion efforts to tell dad that a 49 score is good enough not to redo? :/ they're adamant that I redo because if I'm good enough I should be able to get a 50 without work this year (which really is rarely the case for most non-geniuses)

[sabxiao]

Have you told your parents about how people look to hire for work here in Australia and stuff? Because getting good results and getting into uni is one thing, but the workforce is another. People don't care if you got a perfect ATAR, employers are looking for all around skills such as volunteering, experience, social/communication skills and praises from referees.
Also, the notion that there is such a thing as an 'easy 50' without any work is ridiculous. I would say, by repeating the subject again, you're risking the chance of you doing well in other subjects and that could drag down your entire ATAR altogether.
I don't know what school you go to, but do you have a careers counselor at school? If you tell them your situation, they might be able to speak with your parents and it might work better because it's coming from a legitimate source. Get them to explain that it's very hard to distinguish from a 49 or 50 and what kind of skills employers are looking for
I'm guessing these are crazy asian parents right? You have to stress what the system is, but you have to focus on how people are looking at a person from a holistic point of view, rather than a solely academic one.

[lifeunder]

Have you told your parents about how people look to hire for work here in Australia and stuff? Because getting good results and getting into uni is one thing, but the workforce is another. People don't care if you got a perfect ATAR, employers are looking for all around skills such as volunteering, experience, social/communication skills and praises from referees.
Also, the notion that there is such a thing as an 'easy 50' without any work is ridiculous. I would say, by repeating the subject again, you're risking the chance of you doing well in other subjects and that could drag down your entire ATAR altogether.
I don't know what school you go to, but do you have a careers counselor at school? If you tell them your situation, they might be able to speak with your parents and it might work better because it's coming from a legitimate source. Get them to explain that it's very hard to distinguish from a 49 or 50 and what kind of skills employers are looking for
I'm guessing these are crazy asian parents right? You have to stress what the system is, but you have to focus on how people are looking at a person from a holistic point of view, rather than a solely academic one.

Yeah my school does have a careers counsellor, i'll seek them out when school starts (good idea!)

Yeah they're crazy asian parents, but then again, it really doesn't help that my cousins/friends all got 99.95/into some famous college and what parents then start comparing since they can't compare my income ($0/yr) is what VCE aggregate you get..

[keltingmeith]

I mean, you could try telling that it's statistically harder to get a 49 than a 50, but I doubt that would even work for super understanding parents.

I suggest just giving your dad the facts - if you repeat methods, you lose a possible 6th subject. With the 6th subject, you will get up to an extra 5 points on your ATAR aggregate, if you repeat methods you can only get up to an extra 0.1 points on your ATAR aggregate. You can also try explaining that the difference between a 49 and 50 SS is 0.1%, but that might make them more annoyed, so that's up to your discretion (49 is the top 0.3% of the state, 50 is the top 0.2% of the state)

[pi]

I don't mean to make light of your situation (which sounds utterly horrible for you, you have my full sympathies :/), but ask them if they got 100% in school lol

[lifeunder]

I mean, you could try telling that it's statistically harder to get a 49 than a 50, but I doubt that would even work for super understanding parents.

That's a great idea

I don't lose any subjects in the process, but I was planning on making Methods my top 4 and they're under the impression that a 50 (which i explained was around 0.4-0.5 points on my aggregate in the end if it's primary) means 4-5 S.Ss on a 5th/6th subject

But yeah, I might try explaining the norm. distrib curve to him since he knows his maths too

I'm already doing 6 so if i'm repeating i'd have to do 7 in one year (6+ a uni) which is unsavoury to say the least :/

I don't mean to make light of your situation (which sounds utterly horrible for you, you have my full sympathies :/), but ask them if they got 100% in school lol

Don't need to, parents used to be olympiad scholars (near the top of their province/country) in uber-competitive China so i'm inclined to think that they did get 100% at school