Help me reconfigure my prac intro to this new prompt please!

[hotbiscuits]

heres an intro i developed earlier and i was hoping to get a hand reconfiguring it to fit this prompt as i feel they are similar.

SAC PROMPT : We are all enslaved by the judgement of others.

In a society which inherently seeks to categorise individuals and in which others’ acceptance is based largely on the extent to which one conforms, it is paramount that each person finds their genuine place in the world. Our society is fundamentally based around the often artificial groups to which we belong and judgement associated with failing to conform them. As a result, adherence to the pre-existing guidelines which define these groups, and to the expectations  judgements, can often be the easiest and is in some cases the only path to fitting in. However, the complexity and depth of our inner being can sometimes require that we go above and beyond others’ ideals in order to find out true selves. On the other hand, the ease with which one can passively conform in our society can risk breeding individuals who do not challenge others’ perceptions of who they are and instead lose sight of their self-worth and sense of purpose.

[literally lauren]

In a society which inherently seeks to categorise individuals and in which others’ acceptance is based largely on the extent to which one conforms, it is paramount that each person finds their genuine place in the world. Because this is a really general statement, this could work for almost any prompt. Our society is fundamentally based around the often artificial groups to which we belong and judgement associated with failing to conform them. As a result, adherence to the pre-existing guidelines which define these groups, and to the expectations ?? judgements, can often be the easiest and is in some cases the only path to fitting in. However, the complexity and depth of our inner being can sometimes require that we go above and beyond others’ ideals in order to find out true selves. On the other hand, the ease with which one can passively conform in our society can risk breeding individuals who do not challenge others’ perceptions of who they are and instead lose sight of their self-worth and sense of purpose.This last bit seems to be the most irrelevant. Tailor this intro to your arguments; what do you want to be saying about the nature of judgments or our degree of enslavement here?

It's perfectly fine to have a flexible intro that you want to adapt (provided you're not doing this for the entire essay,) but you need to focus on the ideas rather than just the nice wording. A piece that makes some attempt to engage with the prompt, even if it's only using very simplistic language, will always be better off than someone who churns out an irrelevant piece of nicely worded nonsense.

It seems like you're aware that you have to use the prompt as your overall focus, which is good. Just make sure you're extrapolating from those ideas rather than imposing your own just because they fit, or because that's what your practice essay was about