Language analsys essay. Please help I'm extrememly terrible at essays/english

[schoolishell]

LATE TERM ABORTION - Unfinished

Is late term abortion as cruel as it appears? Absolutely. David Van Gend is the author of editorial article ‘Late Term Abortion a Life and Death Debate’ published by the Herald Sun on the 28th of January 2008. This essay is intended to be aimed at mothers and fathers. I agree with David Van Gend, late term abortion is barbaric and cruel. Dr Van Gend uses language style of a formal background along with an outrageous tone to accompany Dr Van Gend’s article.

Dr Van Gend accentuates that LTA are violent, murderous acts that cannot be considered medical procedures. Van Gend opens his opinion piece by alluding to the ways abortions are performed. Rather than explicitly describing the abortion procedure, he states that it is performed by a “method so cruel (he is) reluctant to describe it.” As Van Gend is a doctor, who has assumedly had experience with gruesome operations. The fact that he is “reluctant” to describe it emphasises it’s murderous nature. Furthermore, his condemning tone immediately alerts readers to the hypocrisy of the arguments of his opposition who assert that abortions are “necessary medical procedures.”

Dr Van Gend stresses that late term abortions are generally at 20 weeks of pregnancy, done to healthy babies of healthy mothers. If the babies had not of been “terminated” and were “born alive and adopted to loving parents” perhaps this is true but will never be known if mothers continue to do such murderous acts towards their “baby.”

[izzywantsa97]

I'm sure someone with much better English skills than me will help you too, but I'll try to make a few comments. Firstly, language analysis isn't the right section to be sharing your personal opinion. This means that you can't mention your opinion on abortions, can't use the word "I" etc. Instead, what you should be doing more is looking at the effect on the readers. So you've identified what arguments he's making, and the way he does them, but what you need to do now is talk about what that will do to the reader. Will they be angry/disgusted/feel sympathy? How will they act as a result of these feelings? So basically try to frame your reactions to the text as reader's response.
Basically you've got the basics there, you just need to make it more sophisticated (say the writer sometimes, instead of just Van Gend all the time), watch your clauses, and just extend all of your points (the hypocrisy idea is unfinished, why will readers see late-term abortions as unnecessary or damaging? Why is he trying to make his opponents look bad?)
Apart from that, just try to work on your fluency, especially in the introduction. Try to incorporate his intended audience in a bit better- look at why he is targeting them maybe.
Good luck!

[heids]

^yep, most of my stuff already said

Is late term abortion as cruel as it appears? Absolutely. David Van Gend is the author of editorial article ‘Late Term Abortion a Life and Death Debate’ published by the Herald Sun on the 28th of January 2008. This essay is intended to be aimed at mothers and fathers. I agree with David Van Gend, late term abortion is barbaric and cruel. Dr Van Gend uses language style of a formal background along with an outrageous tone to accompany Dr Van Gend’s article.

Your intro needs some work -
a. Don't put in your own opinion, instead analyse how the author tries to persuade readers.
b. More fluent and concise.
c. Needs a bit more analysis of the author's overall approach, arguments or ways they try to persuade.
This is a very quick re-write of the intro (using only what you put in):
In his editorial 'Late Term Abortion a Life and Death Debate' (Herald Sun, 28th January 2008), David Van Gend contends that late term abortion is barbaric and cruel.  He targets parents, using his formal background to impress them with his expertise while employing an outraged tone to alarm them.

Dr Van Gend accentuates that LTA are violent, murderous acts that cannot be considered medical procedures. Van Gend opens his opinion piece by alluding to the ways abortions are performed. Rather than explicitly describing the abortion procedure, he states that it is performed by a “method so cruel (he is) reluctant to describe it.” As Van Gend is a doctor, who has assumedly had experience with gruesome operations. The fact that he is “reluctant” to describe it emphasises it’s murderous nature. Furthermore, his condemning tone immediately alerts readers to the hypocrisy of the arguments of his opposition who assert that abortions are “necessary medical procedures.” This paragraph definitely has great stuff - but you need to show more of the impact on the reader, like the fact that he's reluctant to describe it makes the reader feel dread and horror these methods must be (especially since it's 'unknown' horror), so that they think it's barbaric and horrible. His expertise/knowledge provides credibility so the readers will believe that it really is as horrible as he portrays. etc. (this isn't how I'd write it in an essay, just ideas).

Dr Van Gend stresses that late term abortions are generally at 20 weeks of pregnancy, done to healthy babies of healthy mothers. If the babies had not of been “terminated” and were “born alive and adopted to loving parents” perhaps this is true but will never be known if mothers continue to do such murderous acts towards their “baby.”  Note this bit doesn't include anything about how it makes the audience feel or think - the most important part of analysis.

See English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses for heaps of advice.  I can't emphasise enough how helpful this thread is!  Some specific posts to look at: DJA's Guide to Language Analysis (READ THIS), Costargh's study pack, literally lauren's LA formula and A Crash Course in Language Analysis. 

All the best, and just remember that no matter where you are in English, if you're willing to keep working, practising and improving, you will get way way better