Could someone please give me feedback on my language analysis piece-Thanks

[aznparagon]

I know this is too much but a general indication of what i did right and what i did wrong would be greatly appreciated
Language Analysis-Goodlife
In light of exponential growth of over the counter complementary medicines industry in Australia, the community based watchdog Good Life Advisory Council (GLAC), has been prompted to address the issue in its quarterly review. In the July edition of the review “…and the Good News is...”, Robin Holford in his feature article “In pursuit of a good life”, condemns the complementary medicines industry for promoting self-medication of dangerous medicines. In an unequivocal and authoritative tone, Holford appeals to his health-conscious reader’s sense of community, justice and responsibility, inviting readers to see the dangerous implications of the lucrative industry. In contrast to the reproachful Holford’s, the advertisement for the supplement “TRIHYXADRIN” by pharmaceutical manufacturer “Australia’s Premier Pharmaceutical Manufacturers”, endorses the use of complementary medicines to readers by flaunting its apparent health benefits.
From the outset, Holford creates a sense of community amongst readers by proudly highlighting the exemplary traits of Melbourne to unify readers to see complementary medicines as unnecessary. Holford creates an almost utopian image of Melbourne by informs his readers of the world wide renown that Melbourne has achieved, citing that the city has once again for the “fourth year in a row that we have” been awarded the prominent title of the “World’s Most Liveable City” by the “Economic Intelligence Unit”. The inclusive language of “we” suggests that the award belongs to all Melbournians, evoking collective feelings of unification amongst readers who are urged to be proud of their fellow citizens and the city of Melbourne. By citing that such a reputable organisation shares his views, Halford hopes to imbue his credible and substantiated view of Melbourne as a prestigious and ideal environment to live in upon his readers. To emphasise the stature that Melbourne has achieved, Holford proudly claims that in earning this honour the city had beaten “140 other cities world-wide”, an acclaim that “no one should be surprised by”. Through this statement Halfrod insinuates to readers that the greatness of this city extends far beyond the reach of the “140 other cities” as the decision should “surprise no one”, hoping to inspire readers to have a profound appreciation for their wonderful city of Melbourne. Halford builds on this utopian image by describing the “clean air…quality of water…and healthy balanced diet” that Melbourne “indisputably” and “beyond question” facilitates, reassuring doubtful readers. In describing the city of Melbourne as “clean” and “healthy”, these adjective connote purity and attractiveness which Halford uses to epitomize the redundancy of complementary medicines as Melbournians are already living a “healthy lifestyle”. These notions are furthered by comparisons with the infamous city of “Los Angeles”. Juxtaposing the dire drought “crisis” of Los Angeles, where “lakes dry up and reservoirs drain” to Melbourne where water is “plenty” and contingencies in the form of the “Goulburn River pipe-line and a desalination plant”, exemplifying to Melbournian readers how fortunate they are. As readers develop their newfound or reinvigorated appreciation for being a “Melbournian”, an identity which is characterized by Holford as “healthy” and environmentally conscious, mention of the “medication” may stir concern amongst readers who are wary that their communal ideals are being encroached upon. The artificial nature of the medicine is contrast with the “local fresh produce” that is integral to the “good life” of the community, presenting the growing complementary medicine industry as foreign and intruding. Holdford channels the communal spirit of the readers by using the threatening perception of complementary medicine to instigate readers to stand against in order to protect their “Melbournian” identity.
Continuing on, Halford appeals to reader’s sense of justice, coercing readers to stand against the complementary medicine industry by exposing and reproaching its lucrative, unnecessary and unsafe nature. The detailing of “shock[ing]” statistics by “The Australian Medical Science Foundation” regarding the profits of the industry not only lends integrity to Halford’s contention but also serves to evoke feelings of injustice amongst readers. By citing that that “70% of Australians regularly ‘prescribe “medication for themselves”, Halford highlights the immense number of people who are ignorantly   “spending up to $80 a month” on complementary medicines, presenting these consumers as naive, foolish and wasteful. Mentioning the astronomical cost of “$80 a month” serves stir’s readers hip-pocket nerve which may provoke readers and users alike to question the integrity of complementary medicines. Stressing of the word “prescribe”, Halford asserts that support for complementary medicine stems from foolhardiness as medicine prescriptions are usually reserved for educated doctors, yet unknowing consumers have taken it upon themselves to and to seek out complementary medicine, despite likely being part of the majority that “do not need to complement their diet to achieve a healthy lifestyle”. Through Halfords reasoning, readers and consumers may feel animosity towards the complementary medicine company who they deem have duped and exploited them and many others. This sentiment of exploitation is augmented by Halfords damning statistics, citing that in Australia alone this industry has “grown 54%” with annual revenue of “$3.5 billion” annually. These incomprehensibly high statistics serve to affirm in reader’s minds that they and their fellow “Australian[‘s]” have been exploited by callous selfish pharmaceutical companies, likely causing readers to feel a strong sense of injustice and motivate them to stand against this unscrupulous industry of complementary medicines.
Continuing in the same vein, Halford claims that the industries nefarious and lucrative exploits extends to marketing as well. Pharmaceutical companies that manufacture these supplements are accused to have “bombarded” consumers with advertisements, drawing connotations of never ending assault and helplessness, which serve to amplify reader’s perception of the industry as reprehensible by instilling a sense of intimidation in readers. Halford further accentuates this image, sardonically claiming that false and inappropriate medicines such as “miracle ointments…magical elixirs…wonder-working pills” are marketed to all.  Through the use of the words “miracle”, “magical” and “wonder-working” undermine the integrity of the complementary medicine by identifying it with fiction and fantasy. Halford builds on this notion by referencing the infamous characters of “Macbeth’s witches” to contextualise and exaggerate the ineffectual and ridiculous nature of supplements, which are equivalent to the witches “cauldron full of poisoned entrails; frog toes and baboon’s blood”. This not only urges readers to dismiss these supplements as ludicrous and dangerous, but also portrays the pharmaceutical companies as sinister and plotting. To convince readers who are still advocating for complementary medicines, Halford employs hyperbole once again in referencing another example to exemplify the ludicrousness that surrounds these supplements.  Halford rebukes his opposition who claim that the success of the medicine is reflected in “our healthy communities”, effectively simplifying their claims by likening the supplements to “potato peels” that serve to defend a man living in “East Melbourne” from “lion attacks”. In this comparison, advocates for complementary medicines are made to appear as senseless fools and coupled with Halfords oversimplified example and pragmatic reasoning, readers are urged to see the impracticality and unsubstantiated claims of complementary medicine and thus are inclined to adopt Halfords’s sentiment.
Adopting a solemn tone, Halford appeals to reader’s sense of responsibility as he discusses the dangers of self-medication of supplements and the repercussions that accompany consumption. Halford asserts that “our lives could be at stake”, alarming and grabbing the attention of readers to only inform them that due to “ignorant…all to readily available” purchase of over the counter medicine, people have “lost their lives”.  By presenting the “well-intentioned” consumers as victims of their own ignorance and self-medication, readers may feel sympathy and see the deaths that have occurred as tragedy’s and begin to question the premises of self-medication. Halford portrays self-medication as the perpetrator, one that causes “allergies” and “poisoning”, words which connote suffering and pain as the victims would’ve felt, evoking further sympathies from readers. The magnitude of the issue is highlighted by Halford who cities statistics that “in 2014, Australians spent $629m on over the counter pain killers alone”. In the light of all this information readers may feel compelled to take action against Australia’s infatuation with self-medication before more “fatal” incidents occur.
Differing from Halford’s contentions, the advertisement by Australia’s Premier Pharmaceutical Manufactures (APPM), flaunts its supplement “TRIHYXADRIN”. The bold print stating “NEW from your HEALTH FRIST LABORATORIES”,  grabs readers attention with the intention of exciting consumers whose curiosity may compel them to inquire more deeply into the advertisement. Upon seeing that the supplement is manufactured by the APPM, consumers may instinctively assume that the supplement is credible as the manufacturers name suggest that it is “Australia’s Premier Pharmaceutical”. Coupled with the “ISMI-approved” statement which compounds the credibility of the medicine, consumers have a greater inclination to accept the claims on the advertisements and possibly be less hesitant in purchasing it. By listing supposed health benefits such as “weight loss”, “acne relief” and “improved muscle tone”, APPM entices excited readers with the prospect of becoming aesthetically more pleasing. This sentiment emphasised by the smiling healthy looking couple printed on the advertisement, implying to readers that purchasing of this medicine will grant you the happiness, beauty and affection that the couple in the photo possess. Enticed by such wonderful prospects, many readers will be urged to purchase the medicine, exemplifying the effective marketing of APPM.
Overall, Robin Holford presents his views on the implications and usefulness of self-medication and supplements utilizing various techniques of persuasion. Through his appeals to community, justice and responsibility, Holford highlights the dangerous consequences and ineffectual nature of self-medication and complementary medicines and thus urgers readers to adopt his stentiment. Conversely the advertismenet by APPM promotes its supplements to consumers. Using evocative images, reassuring words and tempting prospects, APPM implores consumers to purchase their products.