alright this aint my best work (eating chocolate in my bed rn not even making this up) but this club seems like fun so imma hit it up Welcome!
Through the comparison of asylum seekers to Australian heroes (good), Barnett seeks to undermine the government's decision to return asylum seekers back to Nauru. Barnett claims that the government is being 'un-Australian,' claiming that the logic implemented is 'denying people' basic human rights, ultimately infringing basic and fundamental rights. The use of 'un-Australian' invites the audience to relate to the issue on a personal level, as their ethics and morals are being questioned. Barnett claims that 'our lifesavers' would not respond in this fashion, claiming that it's unreasonable as they would save people 'regardless' of their background. The use of 'our' positions the reader to take a stance towards the issue. Through the use of inclusive language, the author seeks to unify the audience, as they are all ultimately "Australian,' tugging on their patriarchal sense. Moreover, Barnett attempts to use the bonds earlier created to make her solutions appear more appealing. She firmly states that the government "must explore the alternatives." The use of 'must' indicates the urgent nature of this issue to the audience. She proposes that there are solutions to this that "have presented" themselves. The audience is positioned to believe that there is a way to humanely resolve this urgent issue.
Could elaborate more but I got other stuff I gotta do -- Ik this isn't that great but let me know what you think and ANY FEEDBACK IS HELPFUL sooo hmu <3 ilys
Some things i took out of this,
Disclaimer: Just wrote first LA, this piece of feedback might not be logical
-Repeated repetition of 'use of' - need to find alternatives
-State full name of Author once at the start before using Surnames/pronouns after
-Too many 'Barnetts', use she or restructure sentence
-Idk how language analysis works but your written piece seems to hop from parts of Nicola Barnett's piece. Maybe(idk) try to analyse sentence by sentence in order of the her piece.
Positive Notes to take from this piece
-The use of 'un-Australian' invites the audience to relate to the issue on a personal level, as their ethics and morals are being questioned. (Great sentence, "relate" is a good alternative for inclusive language)
Sorry for such short piece of feedback, no clue what is needed in an LA