Cloudstreet intro

[ntshvarghese]

Hi, this is an introduction of a cloudstreet prompt ‘Without Oriel, the Lambs and Pickles would not have achieved peace. Do you agree?
Would like to know your thoughts on my intro

Peace isn’t existent in a world where pain and suffering exist, it is said that peace can be achieved by compromise or change. However it could ultimately destroy that opportunity and the world would have to live the rest of their life, suffering. Tim Winton demonstrates the need for peace in his novel “Cloudstreet”, where two families experience the heartache growing up together and are longing for their serenity. Both families encounter the moments in their life that put them in a rut that makes them live in constant guilt and suffering. Peace could have occurred through a range of events that occurred to bring the families closer together. The marriage of Rose and Quick, the birth of their baby and the death of Fish. Winton demonstrates that although peace can be achieved through the people around us, it can also occur through the events we experience that bring us joy and happiness.

[zephyrforza]

Good but will be better if you redo some of the wording such as the repetition of 'occurred'. And to word your ideas a bit better so that they're more clear to the reader. May also be good to quote the date of the novel and introduce the novel with an impressive statement e.g 'Winton's epic follows 2 families across 2 decades, blah blah blah nostaligia for bygone era'. Great work!!

[ntshvarghese]

Thank You!!! Helped me achieve a good mark on my essay!