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April 07, 2026, 07:28:06 pm

Author Topic: Please mark :) Encountering Conflict expository essay  (Read 1064 times)  Share 

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maylovesgelati

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Please mark :) Encountering Conflict expository essay
« on: July 21, 2016, 12:37:42 pm »
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Prompt: Without conflict, neither societies nor individuals could ever change, make progress, or grow
Text: Every Man in this Village is a Liar

Without conflict, Australia would be a country where women are not allowed to vote, it would be a nation where Indigenous Australians are not recognised by the law as having any rights, and it would still be a place that only allows white immigrants to settle. Although conflict is often perceived as being undesirable and can lead to disaster and despair, ultimately conflict is necessary for the growth and development of societies and to a lesser extent, individuals.

In order for entire societies and cultures to advance, there must be some form of conflict. Throughout history, revolutions and uprisings have brought with them rapid development and change. During the 1700’s, The American Revolution led to the American colonies gaining their independence from an almighty Great Britain. If they had not defied Great Britain and fought for their independence, the United States of America would never have been formed and the colonies of North America would not have been as powerful as the current USA. Similarly, without the women’s suffrage movement, which involved many protests and brought about lots of discussion, many women in Australia and other countries would not be able to vote or run for parliament. Whilst it can be argued that progress can slowly be made through education and the teaching of new ideas and concepts, for society to accept these new ideas and allow them to be taught on a larger scale still requires a substantial cultural shift that is the result of one or many contrasting opinions being changed.  Moreover, learning itself can still involve conflict; there is often a disparity between previous knowledge and new knowledge and in order to learn new information, one must resolve this internal struggle. Therefore, in order to evolve as a whole society, discourse is unavoidable.

Conflict aids in the maturity and growth of individuals.  During the span of one’s life, the way in which an individual deals with the obstacles that they are faced with helps shape their character and identity. In the absence of conflict, a person is deprived of the opportunity to become stronger and more resilient. If people are not challenged, they are unable to grow as a person and they lose their individuality. Even though they might develop physically, a lack of conflict leads to stagnation in the maturity of one’s character and personality. So, as much as having to deal with the divorce of parents, struggle with financial difficulties or even arguing with family members and friends can be difficult and cause a lot of stress and anxiety, by overcoming these conflicts, people are not only able to feel a sense of pride, but the experience also equips them with new skills that will assist them in future situations. For example: In the novel, Every Man in this Village is a Liar, Atwar Bahjat challenged the expectations and limitations women in the Middle East were faced with by working as a journalist at Al-Jazeera, a Middle-Eastern news organisation. Even though it was a dangerous job which led to constant death threats, she fought hard to be able work as a journalist and cover the war in Iraq. Although her growth was cut short by her murder, the many difficulties that she overcame during her life made her into a strong, respectable and inspirational woman. Consequently, conflicts, no matter big or small, are able to strengthen a person’s character and enable them to reach their full potentials. Nevertheless, as much as conflict can help and lead to growth, it is easier for individuals to grow without conflict as compared with entire societies because individual growth can be achieved more easily through learning and is also more easily measured.

Conflict is necessary for change, whether it be a change for the worse or for the better. “I met my mother for the first time when I was in my 30s, and it was sad because too much time had passed, and it was hard to make a connection.” These are the words of Aunty Maria Starsevik, an Aboriginal Australian who was torn away from her family at the age of 2 during the stolen generation, which was a period during history where white Australians believed that they could improve Australia by slowly breeding out indigenous Australians. Whilst many white people believed that sacrifices like these had to be made to ‘cleanse’ and evolve the country, Starsevik’s story, which is echoed by many other indigenous Australians, proves that ultimately conflict does lead to change, but it does not always lead to progress and growth. In fact, it can hinder it. The subjective nature of progress also makes it difficult to determine if development has occurred or not. Whilst white Australians may have believed that this was the best course of action to take in order to develop the country, it was clearly a traumatising period for Indigenous Australians, where they lost much of their culture and connections to their family. Therefore, it can be seen that in some cases, conflict can lead to the discontinuation or even reversal of reform and progress. Moreover, conflict can also have a detrimental effect on one’s character. This can be seen through the change in Megan Stack’s attitudes and descriptions throughout her novel, Every Man in this Village is a Liar. Being repeatedly exposed to violence and destruction impacted her immensely, mostly for the worse. She became a lot more cynical about the world around her and became to see everything in a much more negative light. Although, cynicism and acceptance of the conditions of war can be interpreted as development within itself, as she was becoming aware of the reality of the events happening around her, it was not really productive to her growth and therefore she was not really making progress. Conclusively, conflict can lead to both positive and negative change.

Wars, battles and disputes have all resulted in a lot of change throughout history. It cannot always be said whether this change is for the better, and sometimes this cannot be truly determined without the benefit of hindsight. However, what is clear is that progress and growth is difficult to achieve on a large scale without the help of discourse. If we as a society stop questioning our values and beliefs and immediately conform to the expectations and traditional views of our society, we will limit the development of our societies. Furthermore, in order to change, we must be willing to accept that not everything we know is correct and be open to differing opinions and interpretations.

AngeRay

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Re: Please mark :) Encountering Conflict expository essay
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2016, 09:27:42 pm »
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Quote
Prompt: Without conflict, neither societies nor individuals could ever change, make progress, or grow
Text: Every Man in this Village is a Liar

Without conflict, Australia would be a country where women are not allowed to vote, it would be a nation where Indigenous Australians are not recognised by the law as having any rights, just be careful with this to not sound offensive if you reuse it and make sure it doesn't sound like you're referencing the 1967 referendum and it would still be a place that only allows white immigrants to settle. Although conflict is often perceived as being undesirable and can lead to disaster and despair, ultimately conflict is necessary for the growth and development of societies and to a lesser extent, individuals. Very sound and logical introduction, I couldn't find any faults with it. You could try adding a creative spin but no complaints here.

In order for entire societies and cultures to advance, there must be some form of conflict. Throughout history, revolutions and uprisings have brought with them rapid development and change. During the 1700’s, The American Revolution led to the American colonies gaining their independence from an almighty Great Britain. If they had not defied Great Britain and fought for their independence, the United States of America would never have been formed and the colonies of North America would not have been as powerful as the current USA. Maybe a better link here could do Similarly, without the women’s suffrage movement, which involved many protests and brought about lots of discussion, many women in Australia and other countries would not be able to vote or run for parliament. Whilst it can be argued that progress can slowly be made through education and the teaching of new ideas and concepts, for society to accept these new ideas and allow them to be taught on a larger scale still requires a substantial cultural shift that is the result of one or many contrasting opinions being changed.  Moreover, learning itself can still involve conflict; there is often a disparity between previous knowledge and new knowledge and in order to learn new information, one must resolve this internal struggle. Therefore, in order to evolve as a whole society, discourse is unavoidable. Good counterargument

Conflict aids in the maturity and growth of individuals. Good topic sentence During the span of one’s life, the way in which an individual deals with the obstacles that they are faced with helps shape their character and identity. In the absence of conflict, a person is deprived of the opportunity to become stronger and more resilient. If people are not challenged, they are unable to grow as a person and they lose their individuality. Even though they might develop physically, a lack of conflict leads to stagnation in the maturity of one’s character and personality. So, as much as having to deal with the divorce of parents, struggle with financial difficulties or even arguing with family members and friends can be difficult and cause a lot of stress and anxiety probably not necessary, you definitely have your point across, by overcoming these conflicts, people are not only able to feel a sense of pride, but the experience also equips them with new skills that will assist them in future situations.This was a really long sentence, I wasn't lost but it could be better being split in two, although I agree I'm not sure where I would put the split. How about, "So, as much as the struggles of divorce, financial problems or even friendship disagreements can cause a fair amount of stress, by overcoming these obstacles people can feel a sense of self-satisfaction. Not only do they have this sense of pride, but their experiences also equips them with new skills that will assist them in future scenarios." I'm not sure, you can choose. For example: In the novel, Every Man in this Village is a Liar, Atwar Bahjat challenged the expectations and limitations women in the Middle East were faced with by working as a journalist at Al-Jazeera, a Middle-Eastern news organisation. Great text link Even though it was a dangerous job which led to constant death threats, she fought hard to be able work as a journalist and cover the war in Iraq. Although her growth was cut short by her murder, that's unfortunate, I was rooting for her the many difficulties that she overcame during her life made her into a strong, respectable and inspirational woman. Consequently, conflicts, no matter big or small, are able to strengthen a person’s character and enable them to reach their full potentials. Nevertheless, as much as conflict can help and lead to growth, it is easier for individuals to grow without conflict as compared with entire societies because individual growth can be achieved more easily through learning and is also more easily measured. This sounds a little contradictory, I would avoid saying that its easier for individuals to grow without conflict (as that is your point) as it sounds like its linked with the previous point. Maybe "As much as conflict can help and lead to growth, in comparison to societies, it can be easier to achieve personal growth through education. This is more measurable than societal growth, but learning through conflict is still the most viable option for producing strong, resilient children."

Conflict is necessary for change, whether it be a change for the worse or for the better. Completely inarguable “I met my mother for the first time when I was in my 30s, and it was sad because too much time had passed, and it was hard to make a connection.” These are the words of Aunty Maria Starsevik, an Aboriginal Australian who was torn away from her family at the age of 2 during the stolen generation, which was a period during history where white Australians believed that they could improve Australia by slowly breeding out indigenous Australians. Whilst many white people believed that sacrifices like these had to be made to ‘cleanse’ and evolve the country, Starsevik’s story, which is echoed by many other indigenous Australians, proves that ultimately conflict does lead to change, but it does not always lead to progress and growth. In fact, it can hinder it. The subjective nature of progress also makes it difficult to determine if development has occurred or not. Whilst white Australians may have believed that this was the best course of action to take in order to develop the country, it was clearly a traumatising period for Indigenous Australians, where they lost much of their culture and connections to their family. Therefore, it can be seen that in some cases, conflict can lead to the discontinuation or even reversal of reform and progress. Moreover, conflict can also have a detrimental effect on one’s character. This can be seen through the change in Megan Stack’s attitudes and descriptions throughout her novel, Every Man in this Village is a Liar probably does not need to be repeated as one assumption you can make is that the examiner has read your text. Being repeatedly exposed to violence and destruction impacted her immensely, mostly for the worse. She became a lot more cynical about the world around her and became to see everything in a much more negative light. Although, cynicism and acceptance of the conditions of war can be interpreted as development within itself, as she was becoming aware of the reality of the events happening around her, it was not really productive to her growth and therefore she was not really making progress. Conclusively, conflict can lead to both positive and negative change.

Wars, battles and disputes have all resulted in a lot of change throughout history. It cannot always be said whether this change is for the better, and sometimes this cannot be truly determined without the benefit of hindsight. However, what is clear is that progress and growth is are difficult to achieve on a large scale without the help of discourse. If we as a society stop questioning our values and beliefs and immediately conform to the expectations and traditional views of our society, we will limit the development of our societies our development. Furthermore, in order to change, we must be willing to accept that not everything we know is correct and be open to differing opinions and interpretations.

Hello! I thought that was an excellent piece, you clearly have a strong grasp on expository writing and a passion for the text.

Now, I do seem to be bad at realising which form is which, so I will assume its an expository, if not, don't read the rest as it won't matter. There were a couple of times I thought you could go too offensive, you didn't but just be mindful. There were a couple of grammar things I noticed, nothing major that you couldn't pick out with a couple editing sessions.

Maybe some better linking? I'm finding it hard to pick on you :) Some things you may disagree on but that will be your choice on how you write the piece, it won't really affect you too much. I would be grading this at a 95ish as I can't seem to fault it.

Good job :D