Please mark - Brooklyn

[ntshvarghese]

Prompt: It is almost impossible for individuals to develop a healthy sense of self-esteem amidst the unrealistic expectations of the world we live in today….

The 1950’s in Brooklyn, were perceived as a diverse, glamorous city to which the expectations were to be an alluring housewife for women and for males to be the breadwinner. This can be the same for Enniscorthy, however the homogenous, mundane town doesn't portray glamour, it only appears to hold the idea that a housewife is still prominent. These are the expectations that this decade faces, which gets Characters like Eilis Lacey, in Colm Toibin’s novel, Brooklyn, suffer to cope with the 1950’s unrealistic expectations in her society. She struggles to develop a sense of self-esteem where it seems almost impossible to have when she doesn’t feel that sense of comfort in either Enniscorthy or Brooklyn. The expectancy to be the perfect model of society, has Eilis striving to be that flawless, charming woman. Nonetheless, Toibin explored the reality that flaws are apart of human existence, the idea of becoming a flawless individual is practically impossible.

Moderator Action: Please try not to use all-caps and words such as 'urgent' in the subject line. Refer to Posting rules for more information.

[AngeRay]

As you changed it to "urgent", I will try to help but I haven't studied your text. I'll try to work your introduction, I think that's what you wanted, yeah?

Prompt: It is almost impossible for individuals to develop a healthy sense of self-esteem amidst the unrealistic expectations of the world we live in today….

The 1950’s in Brooklyn, were perceived as a diverse, glamorous city to which the expectations were to be an alluring housewife for women and for males to be the breadwinner. From this statement, I can't tell what book you're writing on or who wrote it. I know it appears later, but would probably work out better here. I also don't like the ending, it doesn't fit right, what about. "Which the expectations were to be alluring housewives and breadwinning men"? This can be the same for is mirrored in Enniscorthy, however the homogenous, mundane town doesn't does not portray glamour, it only appears to hold the idea that a housewife is still prominent retain the traditional significance of housewives. These are the expectations that this the decade faces, which gets Always try to use a better word than get or got, sees, witnesses, forces, coerces characters like Eilis Lacey, in Colm Toibin’s novel, Brooklyn, to suffer in order to cope with the 1950’s unrealistic expectations in her society said expectations. She struggles to develop a sense of self-esteem or self-worth as it is apparent she has little personal comfort in either Enniscorthy or Brooklyn. where it seems almost impossible to have when she doesn’t feel that sense of comfort in either Enniscorthy or Brooklyn. The expectancy to be the a perfect model of society, has Eilis striving to be that flawless, charming woman. Nonetheless, Toibin explored the reality that flaws are apart of human existence, the idea of becoming a flawless individual is practically impossible. Not awful, but I didn't see where your arguments were and I'm not sure what this statement was for.

It wasn't a terrible introduction, keep your grammar in check and make sure you don't use contractions (how hypocritical of me) or overcomplicate your sentence. Make sure you cover your main arguments for the rest of the essay, and ensure that the prompt, your contention, the book and the author appear early on in the paragraph.