Please mark: Brooklyn Intro

[ntshvarghese]

‘Toibin leaves us with the understanding that to emigrate is to become a foreigner in two places at once’. Discuss

Migration can be seen to drive a wedge between who were raised to be and who we are. Colm Toibin explores this through his bildungsroman novel, ‘Brooklyn’, focusing on the aspect of alienation of with people with different backgrounds and cultures and how migration can also uncover that an individual can become isolated from their previous home. The individual in this case can be seen as the protagonist Eilis Lacey, a women who faces migration and eventually seems to become foreign in both her homeland, Enniscorthy and her new home, Brooklyn. Additionally, the idea that we can be come a estranged in our homeland is somewhat of uncanny; however it can create loss of touch with where we belong.  Ultimately, Toibin conveys that it is possible that migration is to become a foreigner in two places at once.

Moderator Action: Please try not to use words such as 'urgent' in the subject line. Refer to Posting rules for more information

[HighSchoolerRS]

Hi, I have attempted to give a little advice from what I picked up when I glanced over it briefly. I hope it helps.
 If anyone sees that I have made an incorrect correction, please correct me haha.

‘Toibin leaves us with the understanding that to emigrate is to become a foreigner in two places at once’. Discuss

Migration can be seen to maybe it's just me but this sounds a little awkward drive a wedge between who were raised to be and who we are. Colm Toibin explores this through could write 'in his' instead of 'through' his bildungsroman novel, ‘Brooklyn’, focusing on the aspect of alienation of with people ? with different backgrounds and cultures and how migration can also uncover that an individual can become isolated from their previous home 'how migration can lead to an individual becoming isolated from their previous home'?. The individual in this case can be seen as the protagonist Eilis Lacey, a women who faces maybe a different word could suit better that 'faces' migration and eventually seems to become foreign in both her homeland, Enniscorthy and her new home, Brooklyn. Additionally, the idea that we can become a estranged in our homeland is somewhat of uncanny; however it can create loss of touch with where we belong I think this sentence should be revised.  Ultimately, Toibin conveys that it is possible that migration maybe 'to migrate' would sound better than 'migration is to become a foreigner in two places at once.

[AngeRay]

‘Toibin leaves us with the understanding that to emigrate is to become a foreigner in two places at once’. Discuss

Migration can be seen to drive a wedge between who were one was raised to be and who we are one is. Colm Toibin explores this through his bildungsroman novel, ‘Brooklyn’, focusing on the aspect of alienation of with people with different backgrounds and cultures. and He also investigates how migration can also uncover that an individual can become isolated from their previous home. The individual in this case can be seen as the Protagonist, Eilis Lacey, is a women who faces migration and eventually seems to becomes foreign in both her homeland, Enniscorthy and her new home, Brooklyn. Additionally, the idea that we individuals can be come a estranged in our one's homeland is somewhat of uncanny; however it can create loss of touch with where we one belongs.  Ultimately, Toibin conveys that it is possible that migration is to become a foreigner in two places at once.

OK, I'll be honest, I am very confused. I haven't studied the text but someone like me should be able to read your essay with no prior knowledge of the book even though the examiners will have. I'm not entirely sure what you are discussing really but a couple of pointers.

Under no circumstances, literally zero, can you use "we" or "our" in an analytical essay. No excuse.
Your arguments need to be reasons why your contention is true, not just an acceptance of the prompt.
I'm going to try and rewrite your intro with what I think you meant and see if you can see a difference.

Colm Toibin explores the idea of migration in his bildungsroman novel, 'Brooklyn', and the alienation of individuals with differing cultural backgrounds and experiences. Migration acts as a catalyst of individual sense's of identity between what one is raised to be and who one is on the inside. Toibin investigates how migration can isolate individuals in two homes at once, breaking the previous connection and unable to form a bond to a new place. The protagonist, Ellis Lacey, is a character who emigrates from her hometown of Enniscorthy to Brookln. The idea that individuals are able to become estranged in their homeland is uncanny yet for afflicted individuals, it can cause loss of a setting to belong. Toibin conveys to the readers that losing a home is difficult yet it is possible to start again but ultimately tells the readers that emigration forces individuals to become a foreigner in two places at once.