Do you think people are doing the best they can?

[heids]

I find this absolutely impossible to answer!

On the one hand, people are a combination of "nature and nurture" (i.e. genetic and environmental factors), and you could say everyone is playing the hand of cards they've been dealt as well as they can.  On the other hand, well, how about accountability?  If two people had exactly the same genetics and physical/social environmental factors up to a single choice point, would they both inevitably make the same choice at that point?  Is everyone's choice at any moment the best they are able to make given their circumstances, genetics and upbringing?

It's tricky trying to find the balance between taking accountability/responsibility for your life, and yet not living the shame/unreachable expectations/never-good-enough life.

Thoughts? 

[Calebark]

No, I don't think every choice in the moment is inherently the best one, although it may seem so. I think a certain level of self-awareness is required to step back and say 'in retrospect, that wasn't the best decision'.

Although then I could argue and say they can only see that in retrospect due to the experience of the decision.

I changed my mind; I have no idea. This question hurts my head. +1 to anyone who can come up with an answer. nice thread, heids

Edit: Assuming people are doing the best they can, then doesn't this render the concept of regret moot? Because you could not have made a better decision, no matter what you did.

[Joseph41]

Thought about it.

Sometimes I do things knowing full well I have both the physical and mental capacity to choose a better alternative at the time.

I don't think that's doing the best I could, but happy to be challenged on this.

[Bri MT]

I don't like the idea that our actions are predetermined by biological and environmental influences; so I'm going to say that there are other variables, which science can't measure, that allow sentient beings to exert some measure of control.

By this theory you would not be always doing your best.

[heids]

No, I don't think every choice in the moment is inherently the best one, although it may seem so. I think a certain level of self-awareness is required to step back and say 'in retrospect, that wasn't the best decision'.

Yes, I agree that our choices often aren't the best, but I'm saying that in that moment we might not have had the capacity/knowledge/self-awareness/whatever to make a better decision.

Sometimes I do things knowing full well I have both the physical and mental capacity to choose a better alternative at the time.

I don't think that's doing the best I could, but happy to be challenged on this.

It's worth remembering that humans have a limited amount of willpower they're able to use up per day.  Also, *something* inside you made you choose the poorer option in those cases... yeah, let's face it, I have no idea. LOL.

I don't like the idea that our actions are predetermined by biological and environmental influences; so I'm going to say that there are other variables, which science can't measure, that allow sentient beings to exert some measure of control.

By this theory you would not be always doing your best.

I like this answer.  I sort of feel like it has to be the case - I really fkn hope it is.  What inside us makes some people change their self-talk or develop habits or focus on uplifting things, while others in a similar situation don't?

But is it just wishful thinking to delude ourselves into thinking we have some control, when in reality we don't?  I'm tying myself into deterministic-universe knots and this is probably a dangerous thing to think about haha.  I wonder if it doesn't really matter at all what the truth of it is - it matters instead what we believe it is.

[non.existent.existentialist]

Sometimes the "not so best decisions" open your eyes to things you would not have understood otherwise? Perhaps there is no best outcome? Because there is no one way to live, no formula to follow. You can win with the worst cards and lose with the best cards. Perhaps life is just not as complicated, complex and layered as it seems. Perhaps with our mistakes and failure we secure our future unless we do not make sense of these events and figure out where we went wrong in order to prevent more harmful outcomes? This is a real mind bender

[non.existent.existentialist]

Also, you'd have to define what you mean by "doing the best they can". What would be the best? What does it mean that one is doing their best? How so? Financially? Emotionally? Socially? Intellectually? Psychologically?