Is age (gap) important in a relationship?

[Joseph41]

And, if so, to what degree? When does it become a factor of consideration? Or is it simply a case-by-case scenario?

I'm going to think about this and then come back with a more detailed response, but I'd love to hear some of your thoughts. They may even help formulate my opinions, because I find it a bit of a confusing topic sometimes hahaha.

[fantasticbeasts3]

do you mean age gap, or the age to be in a relationship?

[Joseph41]

do you mean age gap, or the age to be in a relationship?

Both, but I was thinking the former.

Thanks for the clarification.

EDIT: Modified thread title for clarity.

[Natasha.97]

I think it is important to a certain extent. The biggest clash would probably be between lifestyle habits and goals (e.g. get married/have kids). However, if both individuals have the same set of goals, it shouldn't matter.

[EEEEEEP]

And, if so, to what degree? When does it become a factor of consideration? Or is it simply a case-by-case scenario?

I'm going to think about this and then come back with a more detailed response, but I'd love to hear some of your thoughts. They may even help formulate my opinions, because I find it a bit of a confusing topic sometimes hahaha.

TO some extent it is.

If the age gap is too big, they may be in a different stage in life. This can cause conflicts as one (or the other ) may not be mature or old enough to understand  the issues that one faces.

[Joseph41]

Thanks for the responses.

If the age gap is too big, they may be in a different stage in life.

This has always interested me. Like, what constitutes "too big"? Is it just an arbitrary assessment?

[EEEEEEP]

Thanks for the responses.

This has always interested me. Like, what constitutes "too big"? Is it just an arbitrary assessment?

Good question. I'm not too sure myself, but it's just a feeling that I have that tells to progress or not to progress with it. 

[dancing phalanges]

This is proof that these relationships can work:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D32SiTDeFGI

[strawberries]

love is important...but say, if you plan to spend the rest of your lives together and if one is significantly older, what would it be like if they die and the other has several years left alone?

but then again, this is about love and sometimes the impact can be so big in a small amount of time

[K888]

Honestly, I think it depends on the relationship. Personally, I don't think I'd be particularly comfortable going above 8ish years, but like, love is love, right?

For some people, it's not an issue at all - despite the gap, they're at the same stage of their life, or want the same things, etc.
But, I think it's also an issue for some people that they don't necessarily realise. You can get pretty big gaps in maturity, particularly when you're both still young. When you've had a bit more life experience, I don't think the difference in maturity and the like tends to be as noticeable.

I think as long as both parties in the relationship are comfortable - then there's not a problem. But like, personally, I wouldn't be comfortable having a huge gap - what happens when you get older, and say, one of you is in their 80s and the other in their 60s? That potentially puts a large burden on the younger person to be a carer, or potentially, if you go by average life expectancy, means the younger person is potentially outliving their older partner by a fair stretch, which, y'know, can be really lonely and sad.

But yeah, in the end, I think the age gap thing is pretty arbitrary.

[rodero]

I completely agree that love is love, and nothing should be able to restrict that.

From what I've experienced in my own social life though, age gaps only really matter in the teenage years. I've known a few instances where a Y12 would be in a relationship with a student in Y9. It just isn't common to people so I guess it attracts some degree of strangeness. Like, what will happen when you turn 18 and they're still 15?

I guess the older you get, age gaps become less and less significant. I know that my mum and dad are 5 years apart - completely normal at the age of 40, just not the social norm when they're 15 and 20.

[paigek3]

Yeah I agree with everyone who has been saying the gap doesn't matter as much when you're older. But it's true about the different stages of life thing. My boyfriend and I are only ten months apart, but as he was in the year above me he's in uni and of course I am in high school (well...not now...that's weird to say  ) But the whole of this year was really hard because school took up pretty much my entire day during the week so weekends were the only time we would see eachother. I even just found that hard because when I was stressed out and all I wanted to do was see him, I couldn't. I could hardly imagine having to go through that for say three years if we are talking about the 15 and 18 year old scenario. But that is probably just personal opinion

[Henry Kocatekin]

I completely agree that love is love, and nothing should be able to restrict that.

From what I've experienced in my own social life though, age gaps only really matter in the teenage years. I've known a few instances where a Y12 would be in a relationship with a student in Y9. It just isn't common to people so I guess it attracts some degree of strangeness. Like, what will happen when you turn 18 and they're still 15?

I guess the older you get, age gaps become less and less significant. I know that my mum and dad are 5 years apart - completely normal at the age of 40, just not the social norm when they're 15 and 20.

I mostly agree with what you've said. We have friends who are 10 years apart (54, 64) and that's socially normal even if 10 years is pretty extreme, but when in high school, I think it's more difficult.
Like as much as "love is love" is sweet, I don't think we can start saying 20 year olds and 10 year olds is love though. Not that that's really happening in this country but still, I'd agree with what seems to be the consensus here of 15 and 20 is not appropriate.
Imagine a year 7 and year 12 together!!!!!!!!

[fantasticbeasts3]

yea i agree with what's been said above :-) a huge age gap only matters in teenage years... even now, if a year 12 was dating a year 10, i'd be like whaaaat? a huge age gap can be a huge gap in maturity as well, even 10 years can be a huge difference. but yea, relationships later in life makes more sense to have a larger age gap, i guess.

Imagine a year 7 and year 12 together!!!!!!!!

okay no let's not even go there

[Calebark]

Definitely a case-by-case basis. My thoughts have already been expressed by others, so I'll just make one addition:

One thing to consider is if the gap is above or below you. I have no issue if the other person is five years above me (they'd be 24), but I certainly take issue if they're five years below me (they'd be 14).