Login

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

December 04, 2025, 09:59:22 pm

Author Topic: [English] Section C Argument Analysis - 2015 vcaa exam  (Read 3121 times)  Share 

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

sertani

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 11
  • Respect: 0
[English] Section C Argument Analysis - 2015 vcaa exam
« on: October 26, 2017, 03:31:12 pm »
0
http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/english/2015/2015english-w.pdf

Below is my attempt at an Argument Analysis for the 2015 english Vcaa exam. Markings are much appreciated!

The annual recognition of hard working volunteers has once again been celebrated at the big splash Australian Volunteer Awards. In her speech to all who attended, Stephanie Bennett formally recognised and thanked all of the “undervalued” volunteers as well as handing out a $100,000 donation to the winning organisation. In his accepting speech for the award, Mathew Nguyen, informally explains his gratitude for the award as well as highlighting all the work his organisation has done for everyday Australians.

Bennett initially introduces the award her organisation bigsplash is handing out, along with recognising all of the volunteers in Australia. Through using words with positive connotations, Bennett describes volunteers who are also her audience as “worthwhile” and “under-recognised” while also claiming to be “truly inspired” by all the submissions for the grand prize in an attempt  to form a positive relationship with the reader. She then goes on, referencing statistics of the “billions of dollars of voluntary work” as well as the “713 million” hours worked. These statistics amalgamated with words such as “heroes” paint the volunteers as selfless individuals, instilling joy into the audience and deepening the connection between bigsplash and the volunteers.

The banner hanging on the lectern creates a visual representation of what the bigsplash organisation is all about. The contrast in light from the dark at the bottom to the light at the top, coupled with the hand pulling someone out of the water illustrates the volunteers metaphorically helping people from drowning. The bolding of the text “volunteers” and the slogan “giving back” further highlights the volunteer’s efforts. The banner emphasises the astonishing work volunteers have done in an attempt to form a stronger relationship between the bigsplash organisation and the countless volunteers around Australia.

Bennett then explains all the work volunteers do and how much we need them. Through the coupling of repetition and inclusive language, she hopes to form a more personal connection with the volunteers by showing that “we take” all of their hard voluntary work “for granted”. This personal connection is further enhanced as Bennett lists and thanks all the “ambulance volunteers”, “life-savers”, “elderly carers”, and search and rescue volunteers in a hope to relate to the people who have experience in these activities. Finally, just before presenting the award, Bennett creates a final moment of suspense by pausing her speech “…” to heighten the response of the crowd for the winner in an attempt to increase the prestige of the award.

Mathew Nguyen, in his acceptance speech, thanks everyone and explains all the work his organisation Tradespeople without Borders has done. Through his use of informal slang by saying words such as “Cheers” and “loo” he is able to relate with his fellow volunteers on a more personal level. The image on the screen behind him shows the goal of his organisation. The hands coming from different angles are used to represent people from different walks at life all meeting in the centre to work together and build the community.

Both Stephanie Bennett’s and Mathew Nguyen’s speeches commemorate, celebrate, and thank the hard working individuals who selflessly give up their time to make the country better. Even though Bennett approached in from a formal manner, and Nguyen adopted a more informal register, both were able to connect to the audience of like-minded volunteers who also came to celebrate.

plsbegentle

  • Victorian
  • Forum Obsessive
  • ***
  • Posts: 236
  • Respect: +18
Re: [English] Section C Argument Analysis - 2015 vcaa exam
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2017, 04:06:29 pm »
0
Not a big fan of your introduction, remember that a introduction is to outline the author's contention, you have merely just stated the background information. Your body paragraphs, whilst you have done of good job of recognising the techniques and devices used, your analysis is quite broad in general and you haven't really talked about at all the HOW factor, i.e how the author wants the audience to respond, how the readers think and feel.
Your whole essay is only 556 words, which you should be aiming for at least 800-1000. Body paragraphs should be ~200-350 words, your body paragraphs are barely even ~100 words, which means more analysis is needed! Overall, a lot of areas to work on!
« Last Edit: October 26, 2017, 04:09:36 pm by plsbegentle »
2016: Biology [47]
2017: Methods[43] Chemistry [45] Accounting [31] English [39] Specialist [35]
ATAR:98.30
2018-2020: Bachelor of Biomedicine @The University Of Melbourne

sertani

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 11
  • Respect: 0
Re: [English] Section C Argument Analysis - 2015 vcaa exam
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2017, 05:15:52 pm »
0
Thanks for the tips!