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May 10, 2025, 07:56:24 am

Author Topic: English Oral Presentation!!!  (Read 2482 times)  Share 

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angelapatricioo

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English Oral Presentation!!!
« on: April 20, 2018, 03:12:13 pm »
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Hey!! I need major help in cutting down on my oral presentation speech, without losing the jist of it!! It is currently around 10minutes and needs to be cut down into 5! The prompt is: "Migrants should not be banned from entering Australia."


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"Back home it is bad, but here it is worse."
"As a human being, I have the right to safety, freedom, and peace. But here, I have no safety, freedom, or peace."
"This place is worse than the country I left."
"If I knew I would end up here, I would have just stayed in my own country and killed myself."

This was not quoted by you. This was not quoted by the person next to you. This was said by immigrants that had been forced to leave their home countries to escape the traumatising torture and their inhumane circumstances of 'living.' In modern society, we continue to fail in our approaches in acceptance of those who suffer greater than us. War, famine, hunger. That is only the bare minimum of how much these people are exposed to what seems to be inescapable torment. Migrants are people. Migrants are human-beings, and they do not deserve to be turned away from our country Australia  - our home, that we see as "the golden land of the free and diverse." Migrants should not have to be turned away from great opportunities they can get from Australia. If they were accepted, we would have so many people healed from fear, rather than living in it.

Money always seems to be a major issue no matter what the situation. People fear our resources and financial assets will slowly diminish due to the lack of taxes paid by immigrants, and their increasing use of materials. However, legal immigrants do contribute to the Australian economy, and they do not receive an extra benefits when settled, only the opportunity to have a second chance of a good life. Australians are so afraid of the economy dropping, that they fail to see immigrants highly improve the financial wealth, creating an enterprise advantage.

In 2015, Griffith, a city in New South Wales, had 28% of its community's population being born outside of Australia, which is the same proportion of multicultural citizens in Australia as a whole. Nirmalan Ratnam, an immigrant and a Sri Lankan doctor, is one of the medics at their local hospital that heavily rely on immigrants to staff it, due to the lack of experience or study in the profession. 1/16 doctors in the hospital are Australian born. 1/16. Put that into scale with the overall population of Australia. Imagine if the 15/16 multicultural doctors were to be denied by the immigration system of Australia. Why let ourselves suffer severe and harmful health risks, if highly skilled immigrants could have helped us? Some people say immigrants bring no benefits to a country. But maybe if you listened to these smart individuals, Australia could actually get somewhere in the future.

People fear that immigrants will cause the economy will collapse, however, they have disclosed themselves to the fact that immigrants do more good than harm to the financial system.

When immigrants are denied access to our country, where do they go? Off-shore camps are small islands that are used to take charge of potential immigrants that are criminals or bad influences. Although there are criminals and illegal immigrants, the government has existing laws to prevent them from coming in. The problem is, the government has confined the innocent, and has taken away their opportunity to seek migration into Australia.

Immigrants had sacrifice their life on boats to obtain the great privileges Australia offers. Good quality health care, excellent education system, freedom of speech and religion. I cannot blame them for trying to progress in life, and start afresh in Australia.

These detention camps aim to drain people of hope. Through this loss of hope, people are heavily drawn to mental illness, and through helplessness and despair, there is an expectation that these migrants would move back to their country before committing suicide. These people have nowhere else to go! Their lost, they have no assets to help themselves. They do not have a place to call home. Migrants are trying to seek a better future for themselves and their families, yet we are the ones intensifying their misery.

Doctors who volunteer to help these innocent people and had protested against the conditions they are forced in, but they had been sent to jail due to their remonstration. Journalists are prohibited from visiting these camps to prevent the exposure of brutality that occurs. Lawyers had justified that those who are detained in these centres have committed no crimes, therefore making the detention illegally.

Nauru is one of the many detention camps that hold many innocent people, being in the face of desperation. Do you have a younger sibling/cousin? Visualise them having permanent rope burns around their neck because they had tried to hang themselves. Paediatrician, Professor David Isaacs had experienced a six year old girl who had done this to herself. A six year old girl! He declares that "doctors have a moral duty to speak out, [that these off-shore camps] meet the definition of torture… They've come asking for our help, and our response is to punish them."

Peter Dutton. A supposed leader that dictates the influence of immigration in Australia - however, he is just another lousy and corrupted politic.
"Peter Dutton contradicts Turnbull on immigration." The Australian newspaper.
"Australia's migrant intake is already being cut by Peter Dutton" Sydney Morning Herald.
All I hear is Peter Dutton. If he is 'so popular' why hasn't he made a positive progress for the Australian migration system. Dutton argues that immigrants are "unlliterate in literature let alone their own language." Sorry Dutton, did you mean "illiterate"?

It was only this year where he proclaimed that "White South African farmers 'deserve special attention'." Dutton has reinforced the impression that if white South Africans were to work in Australia, they would "abide by our laws, integrate into our society and work hard" In the 1940's racial policies were built to allow all people of any colour to have the same and equal "Human Rights," yet Dutton contradicts these basic principles to extent where he legitimately calls out dark cultures. I did not realise that people who are not white could not "abide by our laws, integrate into our society and work hard." We have a civil commitment to these human rights, not only as citizens, but as human beings.

If Dutton was so patriotic to his country, he would know that not everyone in this country is white - but is anyone really native Australian blood? In 1770, Captain Cook 'discovered' Australia when arriving by boat, invading the aborginal territory. We recognise a white European who had travelled by boat, and publicised the discovery of Australia in order to retrieve other WHITE civilians, aka prisoners, to develop the economy and wealth of the new land. Anyone see a trend happening? There is a tragic irony where today, people who travel upon boats are demonised and told they are not welcomed, which strongly ridicules how Australia was founded and populated by white European boat settlers. I'm sorry Dutton, you're Australian? The only ancestors you had back then with your famous 'Captain Cook' were prisoners. I guess you're just inheriting their same genetics of being a criminal of unacceptance.

Dutton's persecutions has led him to use deterrence as a threat. Dutton needs to subside his prejudicial views of racial discrimination, and begin to do his job, to demonstrate real strategies in allowing immigrants to rest upon our land.

Migrants should not have to be turned away from great opportunities they can get from Australia. If migrants were accepted and legally allowed to stay, we would not have so many dilemmas, however the issue is that the government fails to accommodate the innocent, who deserves the most prosperous life amongst us all. So let's stop calling them immigrants, and start calling them family.

OZLexico

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Re: English Oral Presentation!!!
« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2018, 06:18:51 pm »
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I agree you need to cut down the length of this.  A good start might be that you could reduce your main arguments down to dot points.  You would have to do this anyway as you will need your work in a briefer form to memorise and/or write on palm cards (if your teacher approves of these).  I think you've got other problems with this - not just the length of it.  You have confused "migrants", "immigrants" and "refugees" and seem to use these terms interchangeably.  Be specific - sometimes you are expressing sympathy for refugees (especially the ones in off shore detention) and then supporting professionals like foreign doctors working in regional hospitals.  I'm not sure how much research you've done to get to this point but you have not distinguished factors like the orderly immigration process, the humanitarian intake and the people caught between the gaps in these policies who are in off shore detention.  Your anecdote about the suicidal six year old and the opening quotes you've used are powerful elements but your work here looks very much like a draft version.  Remember that in this piece you are trying to be persuasive - try to gather your ideas under specific headings in your next phase of planning.  Write strong topic sentences for each part of your argument and construct each paragraph carefully.  Have you considered using photographs or images to enhance your presentation on the day?     

angelapatricioo

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Re: English Oral Presentation!!!
« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2018, 09:05:53 pm »
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I will most likely break everything to dot point form to focus on the specfics. I have updated my speech so then "immigrant" is the only refering term I use, should I define this in my introduction? ALSO we are not allowed to use images using the presentation. Thank you for the tips. 

PhoenixxFire

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Re: English Oral Presentation!!!
« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2018, 11:04:18 pm »
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Hey, you use statistics about immigrants but the scenarios you talk about are refugees, which is fine but you should probably make it a bit more clear. Make sure you know what the difference is - refugees are fleeing, immigrants are moving. Refugees are a type of immigrant. I would suggest making it clearer what you are talking about. For example, having your statistics about how many people are born overseas and then saying that refugees are an important group of these people and include all of the emotive stuff there. It would make it more ordered, at the moment it's a bit messy.

My suggested structure would be:
-Introduction like you have it with the quotes.
-Then talk about how much of the population migrants make up
-Then have some sort of connection i.e. refugees are an important part of this etc, etc.
-Then go into the rest of your speech about how terrible the conditions in their home countries are
-Then talk about Peter dutton
-then conclusion more generally about migrants and specifically the importance of refugees.
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
2021: B. Paramedicine/B. Nursing @ ACU Canberra