Language Analysis 2017 VCAA exam

[Monkeymafia]

http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/english/2017/2017english-w.pdf

Introduction + Body Paragraph for the 2017 VCAA language analysis article. Any feedback would be great!

Concern has been raised by a Principal following the amount of packaging waste she has seen around the school. In a newsletter to the parents of Spire Primary School, titled "Principal's Message", Denise Walker critically deconstructs that "mounds of rubbish" has been an issue for sustainability at the school, reinforcing the waste as a threat to the environment and society at large. In a comparatively more brusque tone, parent Louise, in a comment to Walker's post, frames the concern as illogical and unsupported.

Both Walker and Louise focus on environmental aspects related to excess "waste" at Spire Primary School; whilst the Principal highlights the degradation of the environment, Louise demonstrates how students are already thinking about the environment. Walker opens by suggesting how the school is already attentive to the "preservation of the planet", as they have been involved in a "Walk/Pedal to School" program and have formed an "organic" vegetable garden. By doing this, Walker attempts to enforce the children's "superfluous packaging" negatively reflects on the policies and image of the school. Thus, parents would feel compelled to help change the mindset of their children who should be "responsible for the future of our world." Furthermore, Walker lists degradable material such as "hamburgers in boxes, individual packets of tissues, little packages of rice crackers and chips." By listing the multitude of packaging waste at the primary school, the Principal aims to magnify the scope of the issue, drawing to the notion that accumulation of such waste is damaging to a society attempting to attain sustainability. Furthermore, the imagery associated with the rubbish is consistent with his portrayal of such material "clogging our bins and eventually, our society". This positions parents to disprove of the current state of the school and reach out to children to employ actions for achieving sustainability. Although Walker utilises a critical tone, Louise, in a more logical approach, shepherds that Walker's claims are unsupported as children are already considerate of the environment. Conversely, by rhetorically questioning "How much worse if we have to spread cheese on biscuits (and won't they go soggy)?" Louise undermines the irrational nature of taking snacks in "re-usable container."

Thanks!

[scout]

Hi Monkeymafia,

My feedback on your argument analysis is attached. Please feel free to ask if you have any questions. Happy reading

-Scout