7/11/2018
It's been a pretty eventful week since my last update! Economics was pretty good I think, in the end. Most of the stuff I revised happened to be tested, and the questions were pretty straight forward. If anything, they were a little too structured, a bit of a change from the open-ended 2017 exam. I felt honestly amazingly happy coming out of the exam, and truly felt as though I had achieved all I'd hope to achieve. It'll be really interesting to see what SS I end up with, but regardless, I'm going to remember how good I felt going out of the exam, and be happy with whatever result I achieve.
This morning I had the tech free methods exam. I felt so prepared! I'd done all the past papers, and could consistently complete them in 40 minutes, only losing a couple of marks occasionally. I thought I'd be able to get through the paper today pretty easily. Clearly, I thought wrong.
I started with the last question, and found it pretty doable. That made me happy, because I figured it was all uphill from there. That said, I was quite careless under the pressure - making dumb mistakes like saying 1 + 4 was 6, and not reading questions right. I wasn't able to finish one question because I worked myself up too much.
Looking at the suggested solutions, I think I'm looking at a 35/40 at the absolute maximum, if the assessors are nice and I get working marks. I'm so annoyed, because I know that I could have done so much better. It seems like all the preparation I did throughout the past two years has kind of been tossed out the window. And I know - that's not a bad score at all, if that's what I end up with. I'm just disappointed because I had higher standards for what I thought I could achieve, but clearly not. Also, I think going from having such a good economics exam to methods is probably impacting how I'm feeling, because there's such a contrast - realistically, I'm probably overthinking it all.
As for tomorrow's tech active exam, I don't really know how to feel. I want to make up for today's result, but I know that I'll probably end up stressing myself out again if I emphasise that too much. I keep crossing over between being super motivated and wanting to absolutely smash this exam, to not really caring because 'methods will probably be in my bottom two anyway'. Hopefully by rambling on here I can clear my head a bit and just get on with the exam.
I think tomorrow I'm going to stay away from the other methods students a bit more before the exam. Compared to economics, where everyone was fairly relaxed, people were getting a lot more worked up about methods, and bouncing off each other. I think personally, I'd do better calming down a bit more before the tech active exam.
And hey, everyone else found methods difficult too, and the exam really is just another ranking after all, so maybe it'll all work out anyway.
I'm feeling better already