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October 25, 2025, 06:37:25 am

Author Topic: Whose? peace in need of critique: streetcar  (Read 706 times)  Share 

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Craxe

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Whose? peace in need of critique: streetcar
« on: October 28, 2009, 02:20:23 pm »
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Any critique would be much appreciated.

Written in response to anyone of these prompts:

When competing realities clash the only result can be tragedy.
There is a difficulty in maintaining one’s sense of self and of one’s reality in the world in which one lives.
We need to hold onto illusions in order to cope with reality.
Our perspective on social norms has been filtered by our experiences.

I.e. self-deception, illusion, conformity, objective vs. subjective, socially-constructed reality etc..

Laurel leader call

Brave New World
14/10/1934

It was a Friday night. The air was brisk. The wind blowed softly through the trees. A leaf, temporarily disturbed from its resting place, settled on the hard concrete of the footpath. It was crushed seconds later. A man, accompanied by his wife on one side and his lover on the other, strolled towards the Moon Lake Casino. The three chatted amicably and laughed freely, displaying little sign of the tension which pervaded their lives. Later in the night, as the man and his wife danced the Varsouviana, words between the pair appear to have been exchanged. Bystanders recall seeing the man run, terrified and aimlessly, out of the building. A shot tore through the suddenly tense air. The world seemed colder. The man had killed himself. His name was Allan Grey.

It has been six-months since Allan Grey tragically took his own life, an event we, unacceptably, seemed to have collectively repressed as a town. Given our desperate desire to establish a liberal, progressive society – to achieve a ‘new America’, on the back of the Great Depression, we must look to the lessons provided by his death.

Our great country is being confronted with a problem it has not previously faced. An influx of Eastern European migrants are arriving on our shores. They are filling our towns. Escaping from the horrors of their past, the bleak, destitute environment of their nations, these migrants have entered our country in the hope of attaining the idyllic American Dream. With them, they bring little more than their memories and cultural identity. But it is this, perhaps, which has the greatest shaping influence on our own malleable ethos.  Actions which once seemed alien will, in time, become more understandable. But until then, we must establish an adaptable system of morality and justice to diminish the consequences of the conflict certain to occur when our cultures collide. Most importantly, this system must promote acceptance and tolerance.

As the tragic story of Grey displays, there is little to be gained from intolerance. Indeed, it is an untenable stance, particularly considering the ethnic diversity which we will soon be forced to embrace. While they danced the Varsouviana on that fateful night, Ms. Du’Bois uttered a derisive backhanded comment to Grey. She lamented his natural desire, his proclivity to homosexuality. It proved to be his destruction. Consumed by the memory of Ms. Du’Bois stumbling upon his affair, Grey proved unable to separate the past from the present. For Grey, at that moment, memory was not merely a stagnant memento of the past. It became his world. It shook his world. He could not distinguish between the only moment which ultimately matters – the here and now – and the horror that lingered in the deepest recesses of his mind.  This horror had distorted his perspective to the extent that he had but one thought on his mind- escape. The shot rang out in the cold.

Ms. Du’Bois did not know – could not have known – the impact of her comment. We often fail to consider the consequences of what we do, and are all too quick in forgetting the failures in our history, as they often taint latter experiences with unwholesome emotions. Thus, we must always be socially aware of diversity: in life, in attitude, in belief and in desire. One comment, one action, one outburst will not be forgotten. It will linger, forever, in the mind of the individual. Vilification of the unorthodox has consequences far beyond those instantly recognisable. It must, therefore, be dealt with immediately.

The problem, and, therefore, the solution, lies in our proclivity to fit in with social norms. To be conformist. The individual, it seems, no longer has a place in this society. Once defining society and its evolution, leading the charge into the untold future, the individual has been vilified. Perhaps, it is that we have become selective. Those who hold a perspective deemed to be too radical are ostracised. They are tossed out; forced to fend for themselves in an unforgiving world. Allan Grey was guilty only of adhering to his natural desire. He was a homosexual. Society told him his desire was unnatural. That it was wrong. Having no other point of reference, Grey believed it. He believed he was impure. He reacted by attempting to suppress his unorthodox sexual orientation.

It worked – for a time. But human nature can never be suppressed.  We can never disguise even the weakest of our instincts.  Grey married Ms. Du’Bois in a desperate attempt to cling to the light of social acceptance. Mere months later, he embarked upon a clandestine relationship with another man. It did not remain hidden long. Ms. Du’Bois stumbled upon the affair, setting into play a tragic set of events which led to suicide. The consequence of society’s intolerance, forcing him to attempt to adapt his intrinsic nature, was death. And that is unacceptable.

This is why Roosevelt needs to move beyond the successes of his ‘New Deal’ plan and establish himself as a truly revolutionary leader. He needs to move this country away from conflict, away from intolerance, towards a more equitable, accepting environment. 

It can, however, begin with us. We each need to recognise the implications of our actions – however innocuous they may seem. We must all actively seek to accept the nonconformist, to fastidiously nurture their eccentricity. The consequences of attempting to enforce the socially-constructed mentality, as we saw with Grey, are far too great to be hidden behind a curtain. We must act. And we must do it now.

Craxe

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Re: Whose? peace in need of critique: streetcar
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2009, 05:16:54 pm »
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Bump :o

derivativex

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Re: Whose? peace in need of critique: streetcar
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2009, 06:07:29 pm »
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I'm not familiar with the text or context you're working with, but I would advise you to be VERY careful with the language you use.
If you focus on using complex language too much you may distract the reader/assessor from what you are really trying to say.  By that I don't that you should dumb yourself down, but don't talk yourself up too much either.  To me it comes across as though you are trying to use impressive language too often, and it seems a little forced.

Just be sure not to sound too bombastic. The rest of it seems fantastic - logical development of ideas for the most part.  I think by writing more naturally as ideas come to your mind, you'll find your ideas will flow naturally in parallel as well.
VCE 2009
ENTER: 97.05
Subjects: English 44>[43.99] Literature 42>[43.23] History: Revolutions 42>[43.59] Pyschology 41>[40.52] Methods 32>[38.24] Legal Studies 37>[36.21]

Craxe

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Re: Whose? peace in need of critique: streetcar
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2009, 06:13:57 pm »
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Will definately take that onboard. Could you provide a couple of examples though, please?

Thanks for taking the time to read it, btw.