Any tips on writing better effect sentences

[Monkeymafia]

Hi all,

Does anyone have any tips on writing better effect sentences?

For example for some of the following sentences:
- over two million Australians ask for food relief each year

- attempts to build a sense of urgency in readers

- Jake's coffee is just absolutely rubbish

- aims to heighten the sense of disgust that the author already conjured up in his description of...

- That new fitness program is just a money making sham

- appeals to hip pocket nerve of those who exercise who would not want to waste their money

- Why read a 10 hour long version of something you can watch in 1 hour?

- appeal to logic of readers
- they can save time

- Technology is just getting out of hand. Too many kids are using it now

- possible appeal to nostalgia, in which kids were more social


- Lets not think about it. Let's just build that bridge.


- passionate call to action
- entices a quick response from readers

If anyone can critique my above dot points and maybe share your views on how I could approach effect sentences that would be great.

[guac]

Hey MonkeyMafia,

What you have so far looks pretty good! You're definitely on the right track. I think what you could do to improve your analysis is to further explore why and how each of the persuasive techniques have an effect.

For example: what specifically about the sentence 'over two million Australians asks for food relief each year' builds a sense of urgency amongst readers? Well, the answer is probably the fact that 'two million' - almost ten percent of the Australian population - is such an enormous number that the need for better food relief (or whatever the context of the original article is) seems almost incomprehensible. Perhaps, upon realising the scale of this issue, the author almost wants their readers to ask themselves if anyone they know - friends, family, neighbours - is also quietly relying on food relief. This makes the issue seem larger, more personal, and thus more urgent.

Another example: why does the sentence 'that new fitness program is just a money making sham' appeal to the hip pocket nerve of those who exercise? I'd say that the focus here is on the phrase 'money making sham' - it creates the sense that the core values of the fitness program is to profit and deceive, and not to help its customers better themselves physically. This implication probably wouldn't sit well with the average exercise enthusiast, who values honest support, trust and commitment, and of course fair dinkum business.

Hope that helps. All in all, it looks like you've hit the right points, but to have a truly strong analysis you have to be extremely specific about which parts of the sentence have an effect. In addition, you have to be really, really clear about why that's the case. That's what will set you apart from the rest of the pack.

Cheers